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I really hate when I hear women saying that men don’t show their emotions because of society.
Men are not biologically programmed to show their emotions the way that women are. And women for some reason can never understand this and believe that men should just feel, think, and act the same way that they do.
we are all biologically animals and As animals women were in groups of other women raising children together and requiring community and sharing of feelings and helping each other. Men were the ones that were out working and hunting and we didn’t have time to sit around in some powwow sharing our feelings and trying to sort out crap that would’ve just gotten in the way. Men are mentally stronger because we had to be. We evolved to deal with our emotions internally and on our own so that we could get stuff done.
if we did need advice or help we wouldn’t reach out to a female to get it, women have zero understanding of how we work mentally and when we do tell them something they usually shame or attack us for the things they don’t understand or like.
*on top of that women generally have stated time and time again that a man showing his emotions is a turn off.
I would love someone I could cry to, vent to, and know she is just going to listen and support and not judge. But guys are about solutions. So that is probably why. And this gets us in trouble with the ladies when they vent to us. We go about fixing. And women don't want a fix at that moment they just want an ear. Its just a crazy strength I come to realize that women don't even need to fix it as long as they are heard.
I have worked on solving that in me LMAO. But I still need work. But I am grateful for this skill in women.
Those are the best moments though when people can share what ever with no judgment. It is quite fulfilling both ways.
Yes.
Men who ignore their emotional state end up a burden on their partners. Trust me, I've been there.
I won't date anyone - man, woman, enby - if they can't regulate their emotions. This doesn't mean ignore - this means feel, connect to, understand, and process them.
That is a minimum required adult skill for me.
If someone can't at least be honest about their feelings, I don't trust them to be honest with me about much else.
It's why I don't want my friends to ever pretend with me. Sure, get snappy if you're angry and get pouty if you're sad. I'm here for the whole friend, not just the positive times.
That was very enlightening. I will meditate on this regarding my own honesty with myself regarding my emotions. We say women are emotional, and they are, (and I feel its beautifully colorful). But they seem from experience to more adept at understanding them..
It's because men have been raised to ignore, bottle up, or otherwise think they're not allowed to experience emotion.
I'm glad to have provoked thought, and I encourage you to reflect on who in your life growing up taught you that men are less emotional than women. Why did they think that, and was it true?
Or is it that they also grew up being taught an unhealthy approach to emotion?
That is a good point. My older brother comes immediately to mind with that question. I feel am "emotinal" now but I do feel the agony I put into choking back the feelings that really burn to get out. So I think I have a long way to go. Maybe one day I will finally be in a sportive relationship where I realize the powerful connectivity of just letting them out will bring.
I do remember venting them when dealing with how my X wife treated me. I just felt so negative and like a complainer. How I view expressing emotion really is something to give a healthy revisit.
You can do it. :)
I found my therapist a vital part of my journey. There's quite a good number of male therapists who share similar experiences - you may wish to consider seeing one to help guide you on this. :)
I do agree with this but I also do emphasize that I wish more men wouldn’t shy away from therapy. A therapist is an unbiased professional that can help deep rooted problems
100% therapy is so helpful. I honestly doubt I be here today without therapy for my stress and anxiety.
You girls couldn't be anymore wrong, there are more feminine men that show there emotions all the time. Girls don't want that. What they want is a guy who is sociopath but you want to be able to change him and make him show emotions. So what you really want is power to control men. And that's called an inferiority complex.
@chris_987 actually that’s called being codependent and that’s not normal for someone to go for someone that isn’t an acceptable partner.
@StormMistress agreed. Therapy has helped understand who I am as a person
So are you saying that girls all around the world are co dependant when they find a guy who is been in prison hot or someone who is in a gang attractive? They literally don't make women work in male prisons because they found that an alarming number of female guards where falling in love with the inmates.
@chris_987 have you talked to every woman to assume we all want that? Wanting a guy that isn’t suitable to be a good boyfriend is called being a co dependent. You are spewing opinion when I’m literally telling you a psychology fact.
@chris_987 women workers are less likely to be found in male prisons because they are more likely to be sexually harassed
Naww it's was actually a law that was passed. They had a term for it, why women fall for dangerous men. But if you think about it logically it's makes sense. Same trait that make man a criminal is the same traits that makes a man successful in life and unfortunately women are attracted to those traits. Like criminals are confident high risks takers. Because so are successful men. When you are attracted to some one you mind does say oh he is a killer don't be attracted to him. No you just no that you like confident men who like taking risks. Has nothing to do with being codependent. But that just my opinion.
@chris_987 I am speaking from personal experience that being co dependent really determines if you end up with a shitty man. There’s a difference between a guy that does illegal things for success vs an abusive bum of a man that only dates women to benefit from them.
Not really. Both of those men have confidence to think they can talk too you. As girls you only choose from the men who have courage to express there desires towards you. So whether it's the drug dealers or the abusive bum both of those guys have developed the skills to see a beautiful girls non threating. Which sucks for you because most girls don't realize that of he's this confident about saying anything to me that means he probably doesn't have your well-being in mind. Where as the guy that's too nervous to even talk to you wouldn't even think about abusing you because he's to busy putting you on a pedestal.
@chris_987 who says that all guys that do illegal things have confidence to talk to women? Side note, the abusive men that I’ve dealt with have been the most insecure men ever. Abusive men only talk to women because they feel like they have power over women.
What! that is exactly what I just said?
I said I guy who is shy is not thinking he has power over you he is to busy putting you on pedestal. The abusive guys is confident that he can abuse you so it's obvious that he feels like he has power over you.
Oh well maybe you stopped listening to what I was saying.
@chris_987 the point is abusive men aren’t confident , they are insecure. All of them are insecure. Abuse literally comes from being insecure and wanting control because control and power brings confidence to people
The two aren't mutually exclusive, you can be insecure about one thing but confident in another. Like the guy, Jeffrey Dahmer was very confident in the fact that he could talk to women. I mean that's the only way he could kill them. But he was insecure at the fact that they were not into him when he was in high school. So do you see how his insecurity led him to confidence with women?
@chris_987 from experience, abusive men are charmers. They don’t present themselves how they actually are until you are lured in and locked down. They have surface level confidence because they have a motive but their insides are filled with insecurity.
@chris_987 absolutely. Hence why I’m choosing not to date right now because I simply haven’t came to terms of the difference on who to avoid during the talking stage unless if they are completely obviously not dateable
@kylee2437 to many feminine men today. Guys showing their emotions is only going to leave them lonely and w/out any women.
@vegarunner the irony is both you and the asker equaled emotions to being feminine. Do you not see the issue with that? No wonder why men are shooting up our schools, many are abusive /manipulative/ cheaters , etc. literally just had two close people to me have their male exes commit suicide within a day of each other. Y’all gotta do better.
@kylee2437 I'm doing great I haven't had any close friends commit suicide. Sounds like you should figure out why you're associating yourself w/ such weak minded individuals.
@Vegasrunner actually both my friend and cousin are doing great through their trauma of their ex boyfriends committing suicide. Maybe you should think before you speak because you made yourself look like the biggest ass hat of the year just now ☺️
@kylee2437 They both voluntarily entered into relationships w/ men who committed suicide and they're doing "great". Sounds like you do not understand the definition of great either.
@kylee2437 I dont hate anyone because it takes to much energy to hate. Thats just a statement you've been programmed to say because you're struggling to maintain a civilized conversation once I've proven you wrong.
@Vegasrunner nah you are 44 years old and angry type about women on a forum. You are a angry woman hater that hates emotions
@kylee2437 TY for sharing that and thank you for recognizing my age, as that is the price we pay for breething and I sincerely hope considering the history of the people you have chosen to associate w/ that you are also lucky enough to reach the age of 44.
@kylee2437 You dont need to respond because you haven't provided anythin of substance.
Opinion
26Opinion
I want to know how to do this without sounding like, what's the word, not necessarily gay but like, to the point where I'm still a straight man but one that isn't afraid to show a woman how he feels. Very masculine men think that a man showing feelings, is somehow "gay". It's just something I've noticed. I'm straight but I'm not that masculine. Never really wanted to be as I feel like there's such thing as "too much of one thing" (same goes with the opposite too).
So, how can a man show a girl how he feels, without being considered "less masculine"
A woman is not your friend. Anything you say, express, or do will be remembered and used against you at some point in the future. They never forget anything. Any vulnerability you show will only undermine the image that they would like to have of you—cool, confident, and collected, captain of his own destiny. If you have any insecurities, self-doubts, misgivings, or past trauma, rest assured that any admissions or get it off your chest therapy sessions WILL change how she thinks about you. She’ll start to see you as fallible, someone who may be undependable in a situation and that you need help, or worse, sympathy.
Not once in my life I bottled anything up because of "societal stigma", I've never been taught "not to cry" because I'm a man, I don't give a shit how other males are going to perceive me.
I'm simply not an hormonal, emotional trainwreck that cries over the stupidest, most inconsequential nonsense the way women do.
Accept that, and stop projecting.
While I agree when the time is right we should cry, I feel we shouldn't cry in front of our girlfriend/wife. I have seen to many times where a lady says he can cry and all it did for her was make her feel unattracted to him. So no I don't cry in front of anyone who I love romantically. I can do it in front of my mom or my friends
I used to. And it was always used against me, either to use me, or to humiliate me.
Now I just keep everything inside. On the outside, all you'll see is that I don't care, about anything.
Never show more emotion than necessary, never talk about what I have inside, never show that I care about what's happening to people, or their business.
Every time I failed to follow those rules, it backfired. Never again.
This☝️
That's becauae a lot of men suffer from alexitima which they developed at a young age from trying conform to male gender norms
I don’t think anyone should show anything more than natural. I’d think of it more as not feeling they need to hide it.
u personally, I never had any issue with it... nor a present social stigma about it
stereotypes on TV or online very rarely apply to my real life
Nature prevails. It's not a question of should we express it. It's a matter of in the moment. If you ain't into that, then I guess you are looking for emo metrosexuals. If we don't fit that mold, then keep on looking. It's there.
For the society its a “weakness” for men to show emotions but we’re all humans and we all have to show emotions at some point. If women can show their emotions men can too🤷
I get in trouble when I vent. I'm told I yell. When I say I'm expressing my opinion and my frustrations I'm told to shut up. You're yelling. So I don't say anything anymore.
They should express emotions how often they want, not how often society thinks they should. Thats what makes masculinity toxic.
Yes, and they should. I was a mess for a week after our doggie died.
No, they're viewed as weak by doing so by other males & females.
When I open up, it becomes a therapy session then I'm told that I'm being overly emotional. I don't really bother anymore.
you're right. There is a girl I like and I asked a question about her. Can you answer my last question? (not pad question LoL)
When men express emotions women either mock them or use whatever was expressed against the man.
This☝️
I think they should if there in a Relationship, But it can look Unattractive for Single Guys.
No cuz women hate that tbh. U all say u like it but u don’t.
I agree we need women who encourage us to open up we are humans too we have feelings.
I am a straight shooter where if someone wants to know something then all they have to do is ask 😁
Only when the girl really cares enough to listen, if she doesn't care then no
We don't deal with emotions like you do.
We can just tell by looking at each others faces.
I agree
Its healthier in the long run
No nope
Absolutely 💯 true
For sure yes.
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