Are all guys bad at expressing their feelings?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend sucks at expressing his feelings, so it's usually very difficult to understand what he is feeling... So guys, are you like this also?

[GingerGuy]

We are taught right from birth by society that to hide them. It's not "manly". We're supposed to be strong and "the man". When and if we do share them, we are often shammed for it. Get called a girl or viewed as "weak" (even by other women). So yeah, most guys have a hard time with it. I don't care about what others think and think I can express mine pretty well, but even I can have a hard time with it sometimes depending on the feelings. Sometimes it's also a matter of not knowing exactly how we feel or how to properly express them? Some guys just get too frustrated by it and don't bother trying.

[hahahmm]

I hear you. I don’t see the upside to sharing like women do. More like I think a lot about my feeling and then when I can put it into words calmly I may.. women tend to blurt out whatever they are thinking/feeling. They’re allowed to tho.

[PhilTee]

Yes! It is more typical for guys (although not all) to be less emotional than girls, and I can understand it's difficult for you. What helped in a previous relationship I was in was reading a book called "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" this really helps to explain the difference between the way the male and female mind works, ofc you can't take it all literally but it does give a good insight.

[LindseyKelk]

Well, look. From a social perspective, boys have always been taught not to display strong emotions as it was always a sign of weakness. It is difficult for us to understand, because we have not been raised that way. The problem is that us, women, we love to TALK about feelings, while men prefer to SHOW what they feel. Words are just words, unless they are backed up by actions. So focus on those.

[Account]

I mostly blame upbringing when it comes to that. I doubt it has anything to do with the biological sex. I am terrible at expressing feelings and I am not a guy.

[beebella]

Not all of them. I've met a ton of guys who are way better at expressing their feelings than I am.

[Chaz269]

Actually, he doesn't suck at expressing himself, you suck at understanding him. Men and women express themselves differently. Like most women, you expect him to do things your way rather than learning to better understand his way. There are books you can read, probably even classes you can take, or something new fangled and trendy. Or don't, and keep blaming your man for not being more like a woman. Maybe he'll get fed up and leave, or maybe he'll try to change for you. Then you'll realize you're not attracted to feminine men and you'll leave him. Same difference, really. Pick your poison.

[hahahmm]

Like 90% of women claiming they want a guy to share really do not give af. What they mean is: if your feelings directly affect me otherwise keep it to yourself. If a guy shares even a fraction as much as a woman she will think he’s weird/difficult/moody/unstable, etc.

So guys learn this from a VERY young age when nobody actually cares.

[TheOtherAsian]

yes all of us are. we men were raised to be tough the trick is to crack him not in a bad way ofc. but in a nice way, have long talks with him about everything. be more nicer to him. give more love to him and he will love you more back. that is how most men express their feelings. not all feelings can be expressed through words am i right? 😊

[random56286]

Guys aren't required to take Feelings 101. They were also generally trained to suck it up and deal with it any time they falter under pressure. It took me a very long time of self discovery before I was able to do so.

[JSmuve]

Shit, only feelings I have are angry and hungry, and I express those just fine.
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https://i.imgur.com/S3zvJd8.gif

[AngusBastion]

At first I was afraid to tell my feelings because I was taught that it is not right for the guy.

Later on I started to be afraid to tell my feelings because it becomes huge mess and women just get intimidated or run away or say that they do not feel the same way as I. So in the end fear prevents me from telling my feelings.

[Vivaldines]

This is confusing. What kind of feeling would cause a huge mess and get intimidated/ run away/ say they do not feel the same way as you?

Were asking them out and get rejected?
It's probably has a lot to do with compatibility and their feelings too rather than about you being vulnerable and open up to them.

Or if it's about something else, please do enlighten me. I'm still confused upon reading this

[AngusBastion]

@Vivaldines oki and sorry for not going into detail. So I go like this if girl does not say that she likes me I will never tell my feelings or more like I suppress feelings.

The mess begins after girl tells me that she likes me and we are in relationship. Then I say that I like her too and so on. I tend to be a bit overzealous how much I try for my girlfriend.
Like I will literally will any length to make her happy with all small things.

So I think this part scares them off.

[Vivaldines]

That is actually what most normal people do and expect from their partner. That is def one of the sweetest thing to do for your partner.

However, i think it's important to note that you can do this overzealous thing as ling as you still have some dignity (as a human, really). Because more often than not, going out of your way to try to make your partner happy could give out signal that you are overcompensating. Thus, make them feel like you need them more which could let them feel like they could do anything to you without feeling the guilt. Like as if they have the upper hands in this relationship.

Good relationship should be based on mutual respect. Ideally, every party should meet each other halfway. Good woman will try to make this work, reciprocate what their partners been sacrificing.

Maybe you just got bad apples

[AngusBastion]

@Vivaldines Yep I tend to attract these kind of women and your response makes sense.
There is always room for me to improve.

[Pyrofox]

Just yourself find creative ways to express your feelings and maybe he will get a little braver if you take the lead on it and give him ways to express how he feels. That dont feel I guess like he's going to a psychologist. XD

[JWD1996]

Like someone else said from birth boys are subtly taught to hide their feelings and shows of affection because it's not "manly". And in response to message like this you may get some men who will brand this as a 'gay/week/pussy' comment because they are products of this and seeing somthing like this triggers them. It's one of the biggest hypocrisies in society for men. It's called 'toxic masculinity'

[JWD1996]

I myself am a product of toxic masculinity. I recently broke up with a girlfriend and emotionally it didn't really affect me and I'd been dating her for just short of 2 years. She always thought that I could never express my feelings well either. Most men are a product of this

[Ytrail]

Yeah, I'm like that too! With me thought, I just don't do it because I don't think it is necessary. If a woman told me she wanted to know how I feel about anything I would tell her though. Just not voluntarily.

[2osum4me]

Sometimes yes. It's that sometimes it gets hard to let out your emotions in the fear of being interpreted wrongly.

[Kiels01]

I dont think we are that bad at expressing our feelings, more that women over think every single thing that we say or do until its grown arms and legs and takes over..

[Danny_dan92]

I for one am not lol I’m very expressive about my emotions. If I’m sad you’ll know, if I’m mad you’ll know, if I’m happy you’ll know

[someone2]

No , to me I can express my feelings, not every men can't express how they feel , it's a problem that men face at an early age or something like that

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No, all guys aren't bad at expressing their feelings.

[SirRexington]

Im good at expressing my emotions but it's bad when I do. My go to emotions are rage and manic.

[Anon-ymous1]

No, all *people* are bad at expressing their feelings.

[taleswapper]

I am, yes. Mostly, because I feel only rage, which is not something you really want to share...

[rahul_24]

It's two ways, expressing and understanding. Someone can express well but don't understand and vice-versa. So you need to talk to him about this

[1derfulguy]

Me yeah. Some guys are good at it. Maybe if they grew up around women or in extroverted families.

[clampfan101]

Plenty of guys are too good at expressing them. lol