Hey, so I‘m a 19 year old black girl and I‘m a bit of socially awkward and don‘t behave as a „typical black woman“ would. I usually hang (more like hanged) out with white friends, I don‘t listen to rap or afro music (like my playlist has just 2 % of it), I like reading and spend most of my free time alone in the library or just relaxing, I‘m a loner, my language is professional and educating, I love these royal 1500s or just British classic royal movies vibe and wish I was in one of them, I‘m a hopeless romantic and kind of a nerd, even my clothing style is „proper“... I just feel like most people who see this are making fun of me, last time I went to the library and there were old people sitting there and chit chatting, but when they saw me they started whispering and looked like they were laughing at me. Also when I tell people my song genre, they are shocked and few of them say to me „Omg you live so white.“. I just feel like I can‘t br myself and that I can‘t do certsin activities without people thinking „She‘s black, why she‘s doing that/why she‘s here?“ ... I just don‘t know, what do you think?
I feel like people make fun of me doing „white things“?
So what if some people make fun? I get made fun of. I even joke around about my roles. I don't do "traditionally masculine" stuff a lot. I'm not really macho or suave. I get made fun of. Most women "friends" have said some pretty nasty crap (mostly untrue, but a lot of 'God, he's such a loser because he likes nerdy stuff" type comments) behind my back... (luckily, I'm blessed in that I've had many ways of finding out) but that says more about them than me. And usually, they do it to everyone they don't deem as cool.
Years ago, there was this really good looking guy that I was friends with. A bunch of us from church went on a longer trip, where everyone was figuring out the carpool. After we got going, the girls in our car started ripping on the guy because he likes "crooner" type music. Sinatra, Buble, Bennett. They went on and on and on about it. Like half the ride was l=how he was such a dork for liking that stuff.
Who cares? I almost wanted to be in that dudes car, because I like that music sometimes, too, instead of listening to two hours of petty gossip.
Enjoy what you enjoy, if it's not illegal and not hurting anyone, and it gives you peace or joy or makes the world a better place... hey. People will always have issues with you. People will always have issues with me. You like nerdy stuff? Rock that cosplay outfit, lady. ;) Go watch that Harry Potter marathon. Reread Marvel's 1602 for the hundredth time, or put on that Totoro Snuggie when it's cold. Listen to Avril, Disturbed, Cradle of Filth, Screamo, Aquabats, TSwift... or Gregorian chants. Whatever. People will make fun... but somewhere, someone would be like "Hell, yeah, I'd watch 1917 on a loop with you!"
I'd poke fun of you to your face if you like Twilight, though, because that crap is awful ;) Seriously. Stop it (if you like that stuff). ;)
Eh... people make fun. Now, sometimes it's because they joke with people, and it doesn't mean much, or it's a way of showing affection (I do that)... or... its the mean spirited petty kind. They do it because they have nothing better than to gossip or talk crap - they feel crappy about themselves... whatever. There's a difference. And who knows? Maybe people were like "Oh, she's about to read that God awful book I had to read 3 years ago. That's hilarious." It could have been fairly innocent... You never know.
I think you are wonderful for knowing yourself and having an independent opinion that might be outside of the "acceptable culture for your skin color". I think it is total bs how people think a person should be forced to "stay in your lane" with whatever skin color you were born with.
I do a lot of world traveling and I enjoy learning about other cultures and picking up something I like from where I've been. The food is usually something obvious, and I love to explore new cuisine, but also styles of dress or languages, ways of building a home or dating, and many more things have been added to my ideas of what makes me me and who I am.
I think you should continue to do you, and explore the things you enjoy like the 1500s vibe, whatever music you want, reading and having a love of proper use of English. Those all sound like healthy and fantastic things to enjoy. You will find other people who enjoy the same things, and they may be black, white, hispanic, or who knows, but the things you have in common will be the things that matter more than the color of your skin. This is the way we move away from racism and towards celebrating diversity and mixing cultures to suit individual tastes without forcing people into stereotypes.
How does one act white? Or act black? Actions, personalities, hobbies, preferences shouldn't be judged off one's skin color... Just shows skin color doesn't mean as much as people try to make it to be. I like what music I like because it's what I like, not because of my skin color.. Forget what closeminded idiots think/ say... Be you, do you and if others don't like it or accept it, that's THEIR problem, not yours💛🤗
You act how you act. Your race has nothing to do with it. Anyone who say's you must do stuff due to your race is racist. Been the way your brought up and culture and other stuff can have something to do with it all. But also been limited by culture and all that can be bad too and you never have to do stuff if it isn't you. If i did that, I would probably be a football fan who plays fifa in his spare time always talking about transfers and dumb shit that i don't care about.
I get it. You feel like a stranger in a strange land. The best thing I can say is don't take anything personally. I empathize with you about your experience at the library. In all honestly I doubt the old people at the library were laughing at you, but I understand that when you are hypersensitive in a situation why it might seem that way. It's best to embrace yourself and keep loving your passions. I lived in a foreign land for 3 years as an outsider and the stress just seems to build up and build up. You just have to be a strong person and bigger than it all.
Anyone shaming you for doing "white things", whatever those are, has a very narrow minded view of how black people "should" behave. My minds eye is showing me a very specific picture of the type of person saying those things, but I'm not going to speculate because it doesn't matter.
Point is, ignore those people. They either have a vested interest in making sure you don't do the things you want to do, or they're trying to drag you back down to their level, crabs in a bucket style.
I understand this feeling pretty well. And as far as I know it is becoming more and more common in our assimilating world.
Culture is not the what you grew up around. It is the thoughts that were in your head as you grew up. If you are into things that are out of your role it is a sign of strong creative intelligence. You are gifted. Be proud. Be unique.
Those people are idiots. Live your life the way you want to live it. You don't have to have certain interests just because of your race. It's fine to be interested in any type of music, tv shows, etc. that you like
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Just because you are acting more proper and like what white people like doesn’t mean you’re acting white, means you’re acting like a civilized person who likes what they like and not what you’re color usually likes, you need to act ghetto just because of your color, you’ll be more respected later on in the business world with a good job
My dear girl. I look at things like this, I am a human, I happen to be male and my skin is pale. I believe that because of many different reasons, you you are troubled. There is only one of "You". And you are very special. Just be yourself and enjoy your life. I don't care what most of the world thinks of me. It takes away a lot of needless worrying. When people are rude, I smile back at them and pity them. Good luck
My thoughts are, your just human. Not Black not White but human , you like what you like not what a Black person or White person likes, that makes you an oddity in this day. . people look at you because you donot fit the mold they have in mind , a bit narrow minded. Live yourlife the way you want to not what others think you should, enjoy your life because it to short to worry what they think
Yeah. I'm white and love hiphop an rap and sometimes do small crimes and dress baggy. Doesn't mean I'm a black person in a white body... I'm a white guy in a white body... I jus happen to like black things
They won't accept you whether you "act black" or "act white" so do whatever you want to do. Your own happiness should be your priority. You don't live to please them.
Do what you feel and it seems you are doing that. Just lighten up on what others are saying or thinking. If they don't pay your rent their opinion doesn't matter
You sound sexy to be honest. Black girl who is like a white. Cute
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
get over your self bro. you dont think the Mexicans that hang with the blaks get that. you don't think Asian that hang mostly with blacks get that. they called eminem a wigger.
@Cherry234 I made a reply on another post like this, and there is a very successful black economist on FOX (Charles Payne) He said other blacks attacked him daily on the way to and from school, because he carried a brief case. He was just a kid with a plastic brief case, and that was a threat to the other blacks. They said he was acting white, because he wanted to be successful. Now he's worth 10 million bucks.
