Out at 18 - really?

[msc545]

Why do Americans throw their children out on the street or treat them as renters at age 18?

Updates

+1 y

A friend of mine's wife kicked their 18-year-old son out of the house just after he graduated from high school. He was allowed to take only his clothing and an old car that stopped running shortly after he left. He wound up living in a park and begging for food and money while trying to find a job with no success. After 3 months in the park, he was found dead one morning, having been murdered. My (former) friend and his wife decided it was his own fault for not getting a job.

[meetkitty123]

I have no idea. It was a step mother who put pressure on me to get out the house. She made it miserable for me to be around my dad. She was always causing fights. She put us in a position where she was telling my fad to choose between us... I briefly mimic her until I saw the pain in my dads eyes as he begged us not to. So I gave into my step moms pressure and left. I been on my own since I was done with highschool. It was a tough road but I'm here.
Now Im not one to say toss kids out on their asses but Im not going to one to say its ok for kids to sit on their asses and live off of mom and dad. Staying at home until they are pushing 30 is ridiculous. My kids are preteens and I am teaching them to save money. They have an allowance and they have their own "bill" they pay for they own streaming or game service to teach them how to make sure they have enough money in their accounts to cover it. When they get older I will have them learn to drive and they will have to get a light part time job. Im going to teach them to be independent and while they are in school I am going to help them as much as I can but they need to do their parts. I won't be a free ride while they slack off. Its important to teach them to care for themselves and support them as I do.

[goaded]

The like is for the second part, not the first. For that, you (and your father) have my sympathy.

[meetkitty123]

@goaded thank you

[meetkitty123]

My dad and made amends he's a big part of my life as for my step mom I just feel sorry for her... Her own kids can't stand her... Regardless I don't disrespect her out of respect for my dad some people can't be helped... Regardless something about her makes my dad happy so thats all that matters to me

[On_cloud_wine]

That’s depressing.. one of my friends parents made an ultimatum with her when she turned 18.. either she pays rent and they’ll take care of her college or she lives rent free and pays for her own schooling.. but yeah.. he’s practically a baby.. I don’t want to bring kids into this world unless I can give them a good education and a roof over their head until they make it on their feet..

[On_cloud_wine]

Why didn’t the boy go bout and get a job though? Was he on drugs or motivated at all.. the parents must have been fed up with him, practically disowning him for making such a cruel comment though.

[msc545]

Getting a job is not as simple as just wanting to or even just trying.

[msc545]

@on_cloud_wine You would not make a comment like this if the child in the story had been female, would you?

[KelleyNice]

@On_cloud_wine I'm inclined to agree that boy was a problem child, wouldn't mind, and was disrespectful to his parent and as a result, they got fed up with him. However, it almost as likely that they were not good parents and that is reinforced by their very cold attitude, that he should have gotten a job.

[On_cloud_wine]

@KelleyNice who knows if they were good parents or not.. some pretend they care or worry about their child around others when behind closed doors, it’s the complete opposite, but that comment they made is pretty awful.. this happened all so soon. The boy is practically a baby so maybe they panicked and said that to defend themselves, which is not doing them much justice. Poor boy. I’m so sorry for your loss, @msc545

[bolverk]

Don't know why that is common in American, but the common age of leaving school in the UK when I were a lad was 16, at that age we were expected to either get a job and/or start studying at the local Technical college on day release to study for the academic part of a 4 year apprenticeship (the first year would be at college full time, plus night classes), on top of that when the college was closed for holiday it would be almost guaranteed that I’d be working away from home at least three days a week but could be up to a month depending where the contract was located.

[DryGermanGuy]

The ugliest face of American capitalism - where everyone becomes a resource/asset... or not. The funny thing is, I remember seeing a documentary about one of the old-money families (Vanderbilt, Rockefeller...) who was not ashamed to be known for charging his house guests for their stay (!!!).

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think it’s good to move out early.

I didn’t move out until 21 as my university was just 5 km away from my home and it was convenient to stay there until I finished studying.

I moved out at 21.

But my dad and mom often visit, we have a very tight-knit family.

[WindAtMyBack]

That's VERY rare.

Yes it happens. I don't think parents should kick their kids out at 18, but I think they should encourage them to leave at an early age. If the kids were raised right, they should already have some finances at 18.

Kids who learn the responsibility of paying their own way early, have a MUCH better chance of doing well later. Working and saving money at a young age is one of the best indicators there is for how well a kid will do in life.

[Levin]

My understanding is that 25% of 18-34 year olds in England (I think) can afford to buy a home on a middle income.

This compares with 66% in the 90s...

Says it all really...

[front2back]

This idea is old now, many parents expect their children to go to university and understand the current housing crisis so are letting their children stsy until their mid 20s.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It's sad to throw a child out at age 18 cause they want them to be out I wouldn't be with friends with them anymore the poor kid should of went to the police for help.

[exitseven]

I never did this. I waited until they all graduated from college and then I gave them one free year. After that I expected to recoup some of my investment. They all moved out just before the year ran out.

[msc545]

Your "investment" ?

[exitseven]

well, it is just an expression. Not really based in fact.

[msc545]

yes. It goes to the idea of considering even children as "resources"

[msc545]

Sadly, Exit, it illustrates typical Capitalist thinking - everything and everyone, even your own children, are simply "resources" and you want your ROI. You are better than this my friend!

[exitseven]

I did not really look at them as a investment. Yes they did cost a boatload of cash but I think it was worth it. Not in monetary terms but they made me become what I am today.

[Anonymous]

I was kicked out and told to go to college after I graduated. I honestly wasn’t ready for college and was completely miserable at the university I went to four hours away from the city I had grown up in. It was just “well you’ve graduated highschool. Time for college. Gtfo.”

[Jamie05rhs]

And I guarantee you they sheltered him up through age 17 and didn't teach him any life skills.

Truly deplorable people.

I think they should be publicly shamed.

[Jamie05rhs]

I left my parents' house when I was 18. Because I felt like it was the right thing to do. And I wanted to. I was ready!
But I don't think anyone should be forcibly kicked out. Especially not with a plan for success.

[Jamie05rhs]

I mean without.

[Fuentes]

Generational lol they forget inflation changes is nothing like their era and a simple 18 year old is not going to cut it by themselves with no job history, credit or rental history. Unless they're silver spooned or came into money

[Redstang88]

Why are eastern counties ok with 3 or 4 generations in one house? Just different cultures

[NathanDavis]

that's not something popular around here...

[KelleyNice]

Of course not.

[Dargil]

Links claiming that?

[Jamie05rhs]

Dude, he literally just told you the story. He knew them personally.

[Dargil]

@Jamie05rhs The question was:
Why do Americans throw their children out on the street or treat them as renters at age 18?
A single anecdote is unworthy of "Why do Americans". So the answer is that is rare.

[Jamie05rhs]

A lot of people ask questions with a hyperbolic wording. It's just a colloquial style of speech.

[Dargil]

@Jamie05rhs Pulling out my dictionary...

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol.

[msc545]

@Concluding that something is "rare" with no evidence is as bad as claiming it is "frequent" with no evidence. I never claimed it was frequent but you decided it was rare based on nothing at all, as if rarity made any difference.

Fix your fucking thinking of shut up!

[Jamie05rhs]

@msc545 Your tone was a little harsh.

He does have a point, though, @Dargil.

[msc545]

I get weary of stupidity

[LazerBean]

Most don't.