Bullying and social phobia?

[Anonymous]

Hello there. When I was a child and a teenager, boys always made fun of my appearance. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, it caused deep wounds in me. Over time, I thought like them and accepted that I was ugly and worthless. Now I have no bad habits, but I have severe social phobia. That's why I couldn't work at all. When I'm in public, there is a lot of anxiety, extreme heart palpitations.

How should i deal with it? I went to the psychiatrist and psychologist many times, even I took medicine and it didn't help. In my country, psychology is not very developed as a branch. What should I do?

[KelleyNice]

I am sorry you were not born healthy, smart, and beautiful. I could tell you to hang in there and things will get better but that would be a lie. There is nothing you can do, so you may as well accept your condition. You can waste money on therapist but after the advice and info they give you on the first couple of visits, they can't help you but the can help themselves by taking your money. You cannot turn a $100 colt into a race horse. It doesn't work that way. It never has and never will.

I know I sound harsh and maybe I am. Maybe I'm totally wrong and it and in a few weeks everything will okay.

[Asker]

The point you don't understand is that self-confidence is not directly related with appearance, mind or health. There are people who have none of these but are overconfident. It's about how people see themselves.
And my expectation from the therapist is not to make me the most beautiful person in the world or the smartest person in the world. just to find a cure for this anxiety and heart palpitations that I feel in public. with medication or otherwise.
I went to the doctor, there is no organic problem in my heart. so it's all about anxiety. My expectation is not to change the person I am, but to find a way to deal with these feelings.

[KelleyNice]

I thought about it. Confidence and anxiety may be related but they are very different. Confidence is success. It is impossible not to have confidence if you always win. It is impossible for movie star not to be confident when he asks a pretty girl because he knows she will accept. They always do. Conversely, if he was to ask a pretty girl, it is impossible for an ugly guy to have confidence because he knows she will not accept. They never have; not even once in his entire life. Whether playing chess or basketball, if you are the best in the crowd you play with, it is impossible for you not to have confidence because, unless you choose to let the other person win, you always win.

Anxiety is fear. If I miss curfew, I'm anxious because I might be punished. I like diving off the high platform because it is fun, but I'm anxious because if I over rotate it hurts. If I am going to perform in front of a crowd, I'm anxious because I want to do well but I fear I might make a mistake. Whatever you are anxious about whether going a date with guy you want to impress, or going for a job interview, if you choose not do it, you can't be anxious. Therefore, if some things you do cause too much anxiety, don't do them.

[boggboss]

Continue to see the professionals

[Avadarling]

Sorry hun 🤗

[Asker]

Thank you ❤️

[Anonymous]

You should consider seeing a therapist.

[gorydetails]

work out.