How do you describe "masculinity" without describing a brute or a violent prison thug?

[allogenis96]

In the west whenever I hear about women wanting "men" or men saying they want to be "manly" in my mind they likely are talking about having ridiculously huge muscles, very emotionally responsive, basically a human pitbull. I find it ironic that women in the west, particularly feminists, rant against toxic masculinity but really they want guys that are huge and violent and stupid.

I don't see having muscles, getting into unnecessary fights, bragging about having a 9 inch sausage, or being a narcissistic sociopath as being manly, acting like a brute is not being manly at all.

[annabananna]

Hi! Westerner here and I don’t know any girl that wants a guy like that. A good bit of women like some muscle but you’ll here a lot that want an average toned healthy body and most will not be attracted to a male of it is too much muscle. Only trashy women or women with low self esteem want a man that is narcissist/violent and can’t control himself. Many will want someone to stick up for her if needed but that doesn’t mean violence.

[Anonymous]

Masculinity isn't about being a big dumb brute, but physical strength is important for a man. So are emotional, mental, and financial strength. Women want a man who gets shit done and doesn't take shit from anyone. That's masculinity.

Men who are unable to control themselves aren't masculine. They're little boys in adult bodies. Those are the chest-beating, shit talking, drama queens that get women's attention, but are useless when the chips are down.

Cool, calm, and collected but having the ABILITY to use all-out aggression and power, and not taking shit from anyone, is masculinity.

[Anonymous]

Feminists have latched onto the term "toxic masculinity" and use it as a tool to try to defeat masculinity itself, because they know women cannot compete successfully in business and politics with masculine men. The only people in which feminists encourage masculine behavior is women.

[Berethor]

Noble male, roguish male trope, being weak is unmasculine, a man can be a genius bruiser.

[SmokinAces2000]

You clearly just have a warped perception of what a man is