Be who you are? Or be who you should be?

[mobiusforniner]

Got into a long philosophical debate with a relative over the subject question. Thought id pose the same to the community

[NathanDavis]

balance yourself... in between

well, at least, that has been my aim in the second half of my life so far

sometimes... you do you, and other times what you should do, in order to do you again, some other time, lol

[mobiusforniner]

He is super orthodox religious and believes that being "who you are" invites temptation and evil.
He tells me being "yourself" means a person can be a murderer, a pedophile or pornstar. So he therefore demands people must be "who you should be".

I believe the latter philosophy is detrimental because it forces one to be defined by either someone else or an ideology thus stripping a person of their individualism, which i feel is against God's gift of free will.

[NathanDavis]

which is why I aim for balance...

I would never murder nor kills vicious and maliciously, however

do not expect me to just be a by-stander if heinous acts of violence do happen near me, especially if my beloved ones are there as well

[Anonymous]

That depends on what you think those terms mean, or how they make you act.

If being who you’re supposed to be is based on the way other people think you’re supposed to be, but that’s just not you, then you should be who you are.

Example: I’m an introvert. A lot of people think that there’s something wrong with you if you’re not outgoing and chatty, and I’ve had people tell me that I should be. But that’s not me, and there’s nothing wrong with being introverted.

If being who you’re supposed to be is more about being the best version of yourself, and being who you are means being who you are right now, while you’re not doing things to better yourself in any way, then “being yourself” is just limiting yourself and that’s bad.

Example: a person who has the capability to do great things but who is being kind of lazy and making excuses for why they can’t do those things. Their lives would be better if they did.