Can Psychopathic Tendencies Help You Achieve Success?

[msc545]

I ask because Capitalism rewards psychopaths, and punishes altruism.

Updates

+1 y

Here is a link to some research by people trying to normalize Psychopathy:

https://shorturl.at/zFSX3

I think they forget that while psychopaths may have some traits that help them to be good at business, they simultaneously have traits that make them very dangerous people.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have thought a lot about this topic, since I was always interested in evolutionary psychology.

I think, yes.

Psychopathic tendencies (not a full-range psychopathy) can be beneficial.

I also think most people are carrying little psychopathic tendencies and most of us might not be full-blown psychopaths but, we carry the potential to be a tiny bit psychopathic.

I don’t think psychopaths do more harm to the society than they do the good, fearlessness when directed to a kind goal, can be very helpful.

I actually think maybe some psychopaths can be heroic as well. As a psychopath or a person high on a spectrum you might carry a fearless dominance, which can be directed to the heroic actions when done with kind intentions, along with the impulsiveness of a psychopath.

Now, let’s take these 2 things we know about psychopaths - fearlessness, impulsiveness - in a right situation, these traits can be helpful to other people.

I suspect psychopathic people might not only be able to be the perfect villains but also capable of being perfect heroes and protectors.

I don’t try to idealize psychopathy, I know there might be awful people out there, but I believe in a choice of a human to decide his fate and a choice of a human to decide which side of him to feed.

Like the quote from Sherlock “I might be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for a moment I am one of them.”

I think it’s respectable when you have the power to destroy but use the exact same power for building things, healing people and so on.

We probably still don’t know a lot of things about psychopaths l, because we usually get to know the extreme ones, that already do some horrible things and have a very bad self control, so their brains get scanned and we see that they actually are psychopaths.

But there are so many people going around not committing crime and instead contributing the society in a nice way.

I actually thought that maybe my ex was psychopathic. But he showed empathy, his empathy though I think was a little bit weird, for example, when he fell for me, he showed deep care for me but he didn’t understand how painful it was for me to be away from him, he also laughed when he heard my home exploded in Georgia, I brushed it off, I have my dark sides as well, but he was very caring, he was very sweet and nice and understanding, so I figured I might have been wrong. He also always made sure he cared for my family not only for me. But later on, when he broke up with me he mentioned feeling guilt, he wouldn’t feel guilty if he was psychopathic. So, I guess things are not black and white…

Since psychopathy is a spectrum and some are high some are low on the spectrum, I believe some of the traits of a psychopath are actually very good. As long as you are capable to emphasize.

Too much altruism will easily turn you into a victim, too much psychopathy, will make you prone to be a predator.

I think a little bit of both is good for survival and making sure, those you love - survive.

I think psychopathy survived in us as species and evolved, because it was encouraged, rewarded and liked and also gave people more means to survive.

[msc545]

Psychopaths have no empathy but can be good at faking it to a point...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I know they don’t have it.

That’s probably an easy life when they don’t feel pain for other people and only care about their own pain.

Yeah, I still don’t know, it always creeps me a bit to remember that he laughed when my home exploded. He was also very calculating, great strategist, opportunistic, extremely charismatic and persuasive. But he had a very low self esteem.

In the end of the relationship he told me “I feel like I stole something from you. You were so confident and strong. I took it away from you.” He wanted to hear that from me.

He would also often call me and I felt like he liked to see me hurt because he saw his significance this way, that someone was so hurt by him, it made him feel empowered.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I’ve read your update. I agree the sentence that says

“It is not glamorous. It is not a spectacle.” Psychopathic traits exist in everyone to some degree and shouldn’t be glorified or stigmatized, she says.”

Also, what do you think about Levenson Self Test?

[msc545]

I think his laughter when your home exploded provided a clear view of who and what he is. I also think you dodged a bullet there; thank God you didn't marry him.

The Levenson test has too much face validity - I can make it come out any way I want by manipulating my answers in response to the content of the questions.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

The context was a bit different, everyone survived.

My mom often said she hated that home and on her birthday there was an explosion.

We knew everybody survived.

In hard situations I tend to find something funny to smile about, so I won’t get too engulfed with sadness and nervousness, so I remember I laughed first and told him, it’s funny that my mom has been hating that home and it exploded on exactly her birthday.

Then when I mentioned explosion he laughed too and when I asked why, he said he also found it funny that it exploded on her birthday…

But I laughed out of nervousness because I was trying to deal with the huge stress of knowing I had almost lost my family and home. As for him though, it creeped me out that instead of realizing how stressed I really was, he also laughed at it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

But I figured maybe he just misunderstood my emotions.

[msc545]

He didn't misunderstand - he just didn't care.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

But there were lots of strange things about him, he had a quite dark side as well, he was like two faced. He could be very kind and then very evil and manipulative.

I remember once he told me he is a wolf and everyone else is a sheep.

So, he asked me if I still wanted to be with him because someday he’d hurt me because he was incapable of love.

He often told me he was jealous of me, that I was capable of loving.

But then sometimes he would be so loving, he would look at me with the most caring eyes. And made me forget his weirdness.

He also called people pigs, if a person was over 55 kg he would often tell me they were ugly pigs.

And he called everyone over 30 - too old for his taste. He would say they were old and ugly.

But he had this very kind side as well, he was very helpful and sweet to me and during the pandemic he helped poor people and hospitals with medical supplies, he could make money out of it but instead he did the charity, saying he wanted to contribute to saving people.

He also was not physically aggressive, but he was in my opinion, emotionally abusive and emotionally sadistic.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And when he was breaking up with me he said he did me a favor, because he saw how his presence ruined me instead of building me up, so he said even though he knew I was hurt, he hoped I would go back to my old self.

I think he fell for me because initially he thought I was similar to him. And then he got disappointed to find out I actually had feelings.

[msc545]

He sounds like a really horrible person who was struggling to keep his own violence in check only because he feared the potential legal consequences. Major red flags there.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He also often hurt me and then apologized and made sure to be his best self.

He would say he doesn’t know why but he feels compelled to hurt those he loves and those who love him. And he said he felt compelled to hurt me the most because I loved him the most.

[msc545]

People will tell you what they are and what they intend if you listen very closely. This guy told you. I think if he had not been good looking you would have left him sooner.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think had he not been my first love I would have left sooner. He was my first love and my first man, I was willing to work it out the best I could. I have had more handsome men ask me out, but I did not date them. It’s not about the looks. He was funny and very charismatic and he had this look in his eyes, the moment he approached to me and asked my number, he was so charismatic, charming and extremely confident I wasn’t into dating, but I couldn’t turn it down. And then he was very patient. He slept next to me for 2 months without having sex cause he knew I wasn’t ready. He was ready to do anything to make me fall for him and he was everything a girl could dream about in the beginning.

At that timeI had his violence in check, because I didn’t fully trust him, so I was always acting very confident and careless around him, so in our power game, he knew he had a equal “rival”, I think now that’s how he saw me, subconsciously… Not a partner but a rival. He was impressed by me and he wanted to get the feeling of achievement of having me. Not because of love but because of achievement.

Then though I let my guard down because I fell in love with him and I felt free to be vulnerable and he too, was very open with me. So it only made me fall for him harder to know how hard it was for him to trust and relax and that he trusted me totally.

But yes, looking back, I think not a single woman will be happy by his side and none of his relationships will last long.

Also, he always told me, he knew he wasn’t created for love, he always thought he was created for destruction and he would often thank me that I made him feel what love was, because he thought it wasn’t for people like him.

He would say, whatever happens in my life, I can at least be proud that I loved and I was loved so hard by you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He was indeed very handsome though… I can say looking back, he was easily in the top 2 most handsome men I’ve seen in my entire life. But that wasn’t why I loved him.

And that was a good enough lesson for me… Not to care about that anymore.

[msc545]

A hard but worthwhile lesson.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep. From what I told do you think he indeed was psychopathic?

[msc545]

Yes, of course he was - and always will be.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He also hated hugging. It took me a long time to make him get used to it. Sometimes I’d hug and he would just stand their not knowing where to take his hands. Then I would teach him how to hug. He said he had never wanted to hug a person.

But he read me fairytales before sleep, he cooked for me, he sang me bedtime songs, he listened to me carefully, he once cried when I was leaving, he cooked me breakfasts everyday and he was very attentive and caring generally - how could he be a psychopath?

However, he knew me too well. I felt like for him I was like a child, everything I thought - he knew. He knew me more than I knew myself and even though he never trusted anyone and was always suspicious of everyone’s intentions- he fully trusted me.

I still have hard time thinking that imagining that he might really have been a psychopath.

[msc545]

All those nice things he did for you were manipulations.

[msc545]

The nicest thing he did for you was to leave you. A part of him knew he was a monster and very ill.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He knew that and he told me that. And he told me he cared for me and he believed he did the right thing.

He also told me that silly thing “You are very good… I don’t deserve you. I want you to meet someone who really deserved you.” Of course men say that when they think they deserve better. He also told me not to be so trusting, not to be so giving and so on, he gave me advices and said that people will take advantage of me if I keep being the way I am.

The next weird thing was that he sent me his bank card, and he said I could use it anytime if I ever needed anything and that his family was my family and he hoped I’d always know I had a family there in China.

But that he had to go far from me and he didn’t want to meet me either when I went to China, he said it wouldn’t change anything. And that he indeed loved me and it’s important to always know that I was the love of his life and the only person who made him feel love exists, but he wants to explore more, he wants to aspire more things and he doesn’t want to be pulled down by love.

Then he told me one day I’ll thank him because he is not the type of a man a woman should marry, that he can marry me, but he can’t promise me what I deserve,

That he knows he won’t be a good father to our children and also a good husband for me.

But I think these were just excuses. Because he fell out of love with me. But I felt like he still cared for me. And for the bank card, I think he send it to me, because he knew me well enough to know, I’d not take a penny from there. I gave him the password back and declined to take anything from him. I think he wanted to feel less guilty by doing those things.

Also, when we first met, his idol was Hannibal Lecter :)

I don’t think he was a full psychopath, because I think some part of him did indeed care for me deeply.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think that’s why his family loved me so much, they knew their son’s personality and he was a better person even to them when he was with me. So probably they realized the positive influence I had on him.

[Daniela1982]

@lafemmefatale_1 Sounds like you majored in it in college as you know so much about it.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Everybody I used to work with is a very dangerous person. So are surgeons. With an intimate knowledge of the human body and a sharp object they can do a lot more damage to someone in the basement over a period of time than just some punk with a knife. I don't think it is so much an issue of normalizing psychopathy as accepting that it's there, it's not going away, so better these people channel it for something good and being productive members of society than getting bored and making people-furniture.

Take the TV show Dexter (loosely... I've only seen a few episodes). Is what he did illegal? Yes. Are a lot of people going to lose sleep over a bunch of serial killers getting killed? Probably more concerning that he could find a new serial killer every week. Now we probably have more psychopathic people than we can put in those hunter roles. We certainly have more than there were slots at my old job. Short of going back to coliseum-style gladiator matches, just not going to "place" all of them. Actually, now that I think about it I'm sure there are many who wouldn't sign up for the coliseum, because being a psychopath doesn't mean you're also not a 90lb woman who isn't going to be swinging a battle ax well. I dunno. I don't have answers.

[msc545]

I think that we need to modify our economic and political systems to prevent people from taking gross advantage of others. I am not sure how that would be accomplished, but I am very sure that it probably will never be accomplished since the psychopaths in our society are actually the people that are in charge of maintaining these systems in the way that they are manifested now. System vulnerabilities are vulnerable to hackers of all sorts. The result is constant and unrelenting economic inequality and crime.

[BoopBoopBeep]

The ones writing/passing the laws too.

[msc545]

absolutely!

[NathanDavis]

certain someone would sell you marbles at a cheaper price than brand new ones... but then, would beat you at marbles and win them all back... lmfao

[msc545]

Do you find this funny?

[NathanDavis]

define funny...

[msc545]

Don't be obtuse.

[Daniela1982]

What is the use without being obtuse?

[NathanDavis]

@Daniela1982 he just gave me the 103rd degree...

[Daniela1982]

Not much worse than 98.6.

[NathanDavis]

@Daniela1982 amen

[RealMarek]

It’s more that our current oligarchy inhabiting the shell of a republic rewards psychopathy. We have an elite dominated by people with personality disorders. They are highly manipulative and use the science of mass psychology (Bernays, et al) to manipulate the broader population. This is starting to become a bit too obvious, but if you find yourself passionate about party politics, it’s probably working on you. Naturally, if such people are ensconced in power, capital will flow to them. Capitalism works in a well-ordered, high-trust society as long as a government can maintain social order and break up corruption. If society is disordered or if power is captured by an elite that is overly self-interested, any kind of hands-off, small government approach will result in the dispossession of the common people in favor of the elites, which is what we see now, at which point having a truly free market is impossible and capitalism devolves into cronyism.

[msc545]

Very well said. Thank you.

[RealMarek]

You’re welcome, as always.

[msc545]

👍👍

[JoeMichael67]

Psychopathic no, sociopathic yes. I've worked with people who were terrible employees and were generally assholes, but had the ability to always sway interviewers into hiring them.

[msc545]

What do you think the difference is, and why do you think that?

[LordOfThePines]

They can because they remove the limits that may otherwise stop you, like empathy or compassion.

[lightbulb27]

Sure… business about controlling people and to some extent… poker faces.

[exitseven]

Yes. I know a few very wealthy people and they are all real heartless bastards.

[Dargil]

Tendencies? Yes. Actions, temporarily yes, e. g. Hitler.

[Agape93]

Yo @LordOfThePines this is your wheelhouse