I’m confused. What should I do?

[mira3japharova]

Not long ago, my sister and I reported my father to the police for using psychological and physical violence against us. he was threatening to kill us and we got scared. He always beat my mother to death. now my mother wants us to withdraw our complaint. My sister is convinced. And my mom blames me just because the idea came from me. why did you do this? Now no one will want to marry your sister because of you. I don't know what to do, why are people like this? Why would you want someone who hurt you to get out of jail?
Short note: The Menendez brothers were violence and sexually abused by their fathers. Even though their mothers knew this, she did nothing and they got scared because their parents threatened to kill them. and the brothers killed their parents. People always asked them why didn't you run away from home, why didn't you go to the police?
We did what they said, but the result did not change.

[Cormac995]

You did the right thing. I'm sorry but your mom and sister have lost her mind if they think this is acceptable in any way. Your mother probably has battered woman syndrome and is literally brainwashed from the abuse.

Your dad belongs in prison the rest of his life people like this always eventually go too far at this point you have to choose between pissing off your family or waiting for the day one of them or you are eventually murdered. STAND BY THIS! DO NOT BACK DOWN FOR ANY REASON!

No matter how hard your mom and sister beg, and cry plead threaten and demand you to back off don't do it even if they threaten to kick you out of the house, cut you from the will or disown you.

If you let, go and he gets away with this the first thing he'll do is beat the shit out of the whole family for this when he gets home and eventually, he'll kill one of you. Your mom and sister are ill and not in their right mind. They're sick because he broke their brains with abuse.

The only way you can save them is to hold your ground and put that bastard in jail. Even if your mom and sister disown you for it, would you be able to forgive yourself if you did nothing and he killed one of them or both? Do you want your family having to live with the threat of being murdered every day for the rest of your life?

You have to do this you are your family only hope right now! You're the only one who can save them and keep them safe, and I know this is a terrifying and heavy burden that's going to be painful frustrating enraging and heart breaking but you are the only one who can save them! It's not a good position to be in, it's not fair that ANY of this happened to or that you are in this position, but you are. You have to choose, save your family or turn your back and live in fear till he kills you.

[Cormac995]

Further I should add that you can't take anything your mother or sister seriously right now. He broke a part of them, they aren't in their right mind. It's like trying to convince a dementia patient it's 2025 not 1980 she is mentally un capable of making good choices it was literally beaten out of her. When your mother begs you to take the charge away you have to remember that's not your mother talking that's the brainwashing. She isn't telling you to give up the charges your dad is because he basically owns her brain. Your mother is a slave and so are you and your sister to that rat bastard. Do everything in your power to put him in prison for as long as possible. Push for the maximum penalty and get your family into hiding using one of the government programs for people fleeing abusive relationships and get a VPN service that stops companies collecting your data and issue takedown requests so you don't leave a trail he can follow to find you again. Your family is also going to need therapy and treatment for abuse and trauma. Frankly you probably also have yourselves medical examined to make sure there's no long-term body damage that could cause health problems. Compile every single piece of evidence you can keep track of every detail make sure they nail the bastard to the cross.

[FellowTraveler]

Let me ask a question - IF it were any person other than YOUR DAD, would you permit them to do the same?

[OddBeMe]

Sounds like your parents are fckin mental and toxic as fck. Get a court to give you custody of your sister and get the fck out.

[mira3japharova]

Yes, my sister took custody of me, and after the court decision, we will go to another country.

[strateguy632]

i say don't recall nor cancel annul retract the complaints. let the process run.

[Summeroflove]

Your mothers a coward and as bad as he is. She should be rotting in jail with him for allowing this. Fuck her…. Don’t withdraw the complaint. People like that disgust me

[Summeroflove]

In fact you should see if it’s possible to file against her too

[Cormac995]

Dude wtf with this take? Yes, staying in an abusive relationship is bad and dumb but the poor woman almost certainly has battered woman syndrome! She can't make her own choices with this,
her free will was beaten out of her! She's mentally I'll and unstable this is like telling a dementia patient to "Just do a better job remembering."

[Summeroflove]

@Cormac995 she’s letting her children be ABUSED! That’s disgusting and I have seen mothers go to prison for this.

[Summeroflove]

@Cormac995 where they deserve to be. Stop condoning bad behavior. Making excuses for someone enabling a bastard to abuse her children. That’s SICK

[Summeroflove]

@Cormac995 choosing to stay with a Abuser and allowing your kids to be beaten and in some cases molested. Isn’t dementia. Someone with dementia can’t help that they have it. But people can control refusing to protect their children.

Her dads going to prison and her mom can join his ass

[Cormac995]

Look I understand where you're coming from and you're right the mom isn't free of blame, but these kinds of situations are often incredibly complicated and there are all kinds of things at play that trap them. Some people are so good at manipulating people they can literally convince her she deserves this and he's right to do it. Yes, she fucked up too, but this is a super complicated thing happening and there are a ton of reasons she may have felt trapped and unable to flee. The bastard clearly broke her brain! She isn't right in the head, she's sick not evil there's a difference. I'm not saying nothing should happen to her, but she belongs in a trauma care facility not prison.

[Cormac995]

I also approve of her sister getting custody and moving over seas to escape because their mom is clearly to messed up to be a parent.

[Summeroflove]

@Cormac995 they’re complicated but at the end of the day. When children are abused…. Action must be taken against all Involved

[Cormac995]

I agree but she's given away custody to her daughters to let them leave and she wasn't the one beating and hitting them. I know refusing to do anything is 100% enablement but again like I said when woman get BWS it can manifest in a number of ways, one common thing that happens is they get locked into a mentally dissociated state, and they no longer process reality as reality. There is brain literally locks itself shut and start going blah blah blah as loud as it can, so you don't kill yourself. I think she should be charged with child abuse through neglect, but I think they should suspend her sentence as long as she maintains good behavior, but the state should forcibly commit her to a trauma care facility until doctors deem her safe for release. I also think she should have a restraining order against her getting to close to her underage daughter as well until she's at least 18 unless her daughters specifically choose to cut her out of their life permanently. I agree bad things happened here and the mother shares the blame but It's very, very unlikely the story is as simple as "She let him abuse her children." the fact she voluntarily gave up custody and she and her daughters are still talking tells me she probably did the best she thought she could in her warped mind. Even though the neglect is terrible like I said she's sick not evil from what I can tell based on the context provided she does love her kids in her own sad way.

[Summeroflove]

@Cormac995 JAIL