At what age have you stopped asking your parents for money, stuff and essentials?

[Unit1]

"We don't have money". I first heard that when I was 9 years old. I couldn't have candy or pepsi cola or juice or something to eat at school.

This grew into a bigger problem over time. I had less clothes to wear by the age of 12. I walked with holes in shoes and one time the shoes were even openly exposing my feet and I walked like that to school in Germany. Got bullied and mobbed.

I brought this up several times to my parents and I felt either ignored, dismissed or attacked (they were toxic and abusive). I picked up on that pattern of outcome and that it's pointless to ask for new clothes, shoes and food for lunch. So I stopped asking and could do nothing but let life proceed and focus on fast forwarding my life until I could make my own money while feeling like I was set on fire from poverty. I was 15 years old when I stopped asking. I considered getting money and essentials is on me and no one else (duh!).

It also got me thinking on a secondary question. If i were to go on a date with a girl and she asks about my childhood and I say it like it is, would that send her running away from me?

I never had to insistently ask my parents for stuff. It was provided to me and today they still do

What parents? I never had things provided to me

When I was 10-15 years old I stopped asking my parents for stuff

When I was 16-20 years old I stopped asking my parents for stuff

When I was 21-25 years old I stopped asking my parents for stuff

When I was 26-30 years old I stopped asking my parents for stuff

I am 31+ years old and I still ask my parents for stuff

[midnightmoon05]

I have never ask my parents for money. I worked at a young age.

My family and I immigranted to the US when i was 10 1/2.

Before that we lived in a very primitive village with dirt roads and grew our own veggies and raised farm animals. We were only allow to have very little sugar/flour for each family under the communist rule. We never had enough to eat. I went to the mountains to look for berries, unripe fruits, roots, ediable leaves... etc... anything that didn't kill me lol.

There were poor vendors selling pickles, sauce... or little shops selling snacks... I picked up metal scraps, hard cardboards... sold by weight and got a few cents. I bought pickles. I ate left over cold white rice or sweet potato. I climbed up the shelf to get rock salt to suck on because it had taste. We were poor. We had no eletricity or running water or bathroom. We boiled water to wash and gathered fire wood in the mountains to cook.

10 1/2 in the US, I started to help out at my grand uncles restaruant after school, he paid me $10-$20... I didn't understand how money work... so I must have giving them to my parents. We had nothing when we came to the US... I alway worn my older sister's hand me downs since I was a kid.

My parent had to pay my relatives back because they rented and set up the apartment for us. 8 months later, my little sister was born. My mom had to stayed home for 2 years. She took work home making fake flowers and jewliery, so she can watch my little sister. We helped making them and it was very very little money. I got a babysitting job at 12. some other odds and end jobs between 14-16. I got a real job in a big supermarket at 16, I had to pay tax. go to school, watch my little sister, cook dinner for my family and do my HW at 9pm when all was done... my older sister and I took turn caring for the family till we got older and moved out into our later 20's.

In some ways I always had money... but I only used it to buy fruits and veggies. My mom bought meat and other things while my dad work far away... he never was able to hold down a job... so it was very hard when he would come home being fired and angry. Telling his boss how to do their job.

[midnightmoon05]

My mom worked in a sweat shop till 8pm. My little sister was raised in there till 4. Then she was sent to daycare. We took turn picking her up. I bought her cake and a yellow princess dress to celebrate her bday in daycare. again, my older sister and I took turn, going to school, picking up my little sister, going to work in the supermarket, come home, cook dinner, clean and start our homework around 9pm.
I went to all her parent teacher meetings till she went off to college. I was kinda her mom.
College, 18/19 years. old I worked in The Gap clothing store. I was able to get nicer clothes since then because I got discounted clothes.
I also worked as a tutor to investment bankers. I taught them Chinese. I got paid pretty well with that job.
I never ever ask my parents for money. I started to give them money at a young age. I also set up bank accounts with them because they don't know English.
I got my first teaching job at 22 and saved and lived at home. I was making money, saving and bought myself a little Nissan Santra for work for $7k. Moved out with my first husband at 29. Married. Then had 2 kids. I insisted that we buy a brownstone. We never did live there... he then divorce me and closed all the bank accounts. He is a tech geek and was in charge of our bank accounts.

[midnightmoon05]

I moved back home and stayed for one yr. 3 months... I went to court... the court said its a no fault divorce. I learned the way how the system works... I give up fighting after 5 years. with so much our my money drained to the lawyers. We still share the investment building after our divorce.
I met my second husband here... during covid, I decided to sell... we made good money and splitted.
With my second husbands income and my investment, we purchased a few rental properties with cash.

I never felt bitter/hurt/angry with my parents. if anything... I have to maintain our family togetherness so that, our mom doesn't cause sibling rivalry... my mom often tried to instigate with the little money she saved up.
Us 4 siblings are all doing very well and own multiple rental properties with no mortagages... our mom should be proud of us and love us and not cause issues. :)
My ex. hubby is an only child. Very smart, but raised by two very dysfunctional/toxic parents... so he had anger issues...
He works for a big firm making lots of money. I don't get child support and alimony.
I continue to call him to work with him to raise our kids so that kids are not feeling like a victim in a divorce situation. Years has past... we are all doing very well.
I don't look back ever nor do I blame anyone for anything... but learn from the past and move forward.
We all go through life/suffering... just love yourself, take care of yourself, be good to yourself, trust yourself. Wake up each day and be thankful that we can walk, work, live and smile, its another beautiful.

[Unit1]

Tough situation. We may have faced a different set of challenges for our unique situations but one thing is certain. It felt like an excruciating battle for survival at a very young age.
It does make seem, that others, who were not forced to endure these take their comforts for granted - almost as if it's baseline. Warm shelter, that's not infested with bugs, fresh food, having your own room and privacy and sanitary utilities and medical care. Being anything like homeless isn't fun.

[MemeSupreme]

i can't remember lol it was a long time ago

addict dad, narcisstic mom, and an abusive step-dad while growin up poor does that. BUT my grandma is like a parent to me and she would give some if i asked. i never would tho but im so fucking lucky to like even know i got someone like that in my life

btww i wouldn't go into detail about it unless you guys are having those types of convos bc dates are supposed to be fun. unless you two having that type of convo where it's deep

[Unit1]

Fair point

[matchrestore]

Around 19 after I was established outside the house in college. Now the most we ask for is help watching our son (but they practically beg to take him for the weekend, so I think its a symbiotic relationship)

[Anonymous]

Around 16, I was earning my own money at 8 but it was a slow process to build any more than a few quid at a time

The restaurant, the gold trade picking up and my commission deals made me enough

[Apple1996]

I got kicked out at 18 so I guess then but growing up we were poor so I never asked for much. Didn't want to put stress on my parents by being needy

[lilyanony1]

19. When I moved out I got a job and attempted to provide for myself.

My mum had been keen to help me out at meals and stuff but always needed that money back.

So instead I declined.

[IslaTheWitch]

I moved out when was 17, so... it marked the moment when I had to be self-sufficient lol

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I haven't stopped yet. But that's out of my control.

[LazerBean]

When I got a steady job, 11. And the answer to your secondary question is, I doubt it.

[laly520]

18 yo