Why are people stubborn?

[lightbulb27]

I explained to someone directly they needed to make a chance, a simple one and offered to help... and if they didn't, they injury would result. It's written in the manual, it's all over the internet they could see what I said was true.

But they didn't listen... and now they've got a Dr.'s bill and a limp.

What's the source of stubbornness? Pride?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Ultimately I like for the person who selects the idea to pay the costs if it backfires. So I never let other people select ideas for what I should do because they don't pay the cost if the idea backfires. I prefer to suffer the consequences of my own decisions than to suffer the consequences of others when possible.

It's also easier for me to learn even if my idea is bad as to why it's bad by trying it. If I never try it because other people tell me it's a bad idea, I'll often be left wondering if it truly was bad or not since I never got to try it.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm also, first and foremost, an innovator in my field; I'm not a solid workhorse type. All my major accomplishments in my career came from doing things no one else thought or dared to do.

When I shared my ideas, almost everyone told me they wouldn't work. And admittedly, 95% or so of the time, they were right. I would try the idea and it wouldn't work.

But 5% of the time, those ideas no one else thought would work did work, and that's how I won all my major accolades including the Silver Edge award at Siggraph (computer graphics convention).

So some of the greatest rewards I ever received in my life came from my stubbornness to try things that no one else would work. Again, they're usually right, but assuming they're always right would have deprived me of those rare opportunities to come up with the most innovative solutions.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

[*] [...] came from my stubbornness to try things that no one else [believed] would work.

If I use an analogy, if you're trying to engineer the world's tallest building and succeed, chances are that your ideas will seem wrong to everyone else because those ideas have to defy what everyone else has ever tried to set the world record. If we're aiming for world records, we have to be a bit stubborn and resist other people's efforts to tell us that our ideas won't work.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

If we're aiming to accomplish something many others have successfully accomplished, then it helps not to be stubborn. Yet if we're aiming to accomplish something no one else has ever accomplished before, a high degree of stubbornness is often helpful since almost everyone else will try to discourage us and say our ideas will never work.

[lightbulb27]

Exactly right, well said. You gotta take risks, but measured risks. Creativity leads to new discoveries!

Enjoy... no accidents, just meditation!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSBcrmx4aFw

There's nothing creative though about ignoring the inevitable.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

For sure! I try to balance the stubbornness with some degree of practicality. 😅 Although I'm generally a stubborn type. I don't believe in astrology but I often like to use this retort:

Someone: Why are you so stubborn?
Me: I'm a Taurus!

A major downside though is that I've had to learn far more mistakes than anything else. It's definitely a painful and costly way to be.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

* far more from mistakes, sorry.

[lightbulb27]

interesting. I do find some people learn by "experimentation". Just learning from other is not enough... they have to "twiddle the dials" themselves and get that physical feedback. Others learn by observation... mayb emore risk averse. It's something in the wiring of the personality and underlying energy of the individual.
I had my opporunity to do a massive jump on a dirt bike, I was motivated, and had an instant to decide... for it never been done before. I decided wasn't worth the risk. I'm glad I did, maybe it had worked, but maybe it hadn't. I more like to see things demonstrated first, then repeat what is known. There's elements of trust in this as well. I notice I can be overly trusting or not trust enough. It's something within the integrity of the deep person...
The person I refer to above in the example refused to set the suspension on their motorcycle as I noted clearly... the faster they go, they are going to blow a tendon. It's obvious. don't need to be rocket scientist to know the results of F=ma.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

One of the things in my case is that I tend to maximally believe the best solution to a lot of problems might be subjective.

If I use a popular example, suppose someone asks what the best nutrition is for a person. A lot of people tend to answer with an attempt at a very objective answer like suggesting Keto and maybe even citing some papers to show the benefits of the Ketogenic diet, another intermittent fasting with cited papers, and so forth.

Meanwhile, I always tend to say the best nutritional plan is whatever works best for that particular individual taking into maximum account their unique strengths and weaknesses, habits, what they find enjoyable, etc. So it requires experimentation and I encourage experimentation for the individual to discover what truly works for them.

It's a similar thing in my field. I work with mostly engineers who tend to be rather pedantic, more focused on theory than application, and tend to be allergic to deeply subjective notions. So they tend to hate it when they ask what's the best algorithm for a particular task and I respond with answers like, "What do you find more intuitive to implement?"

Since while a quadratic complexity algorithm will likely never beat a linear one no matter how well-optimized, a well-optimized implementation of linearithmic algorithm might, in common cases, beat a linear one. And the ability to optimize one implementation over another effectively can vary wildly from one individual to the next.

So in my mind, there is rarely a one-size fits all solution. We often have to maximally account for the unique properties of the individual, and that usually means the individual has to experiment to discover what works best specifically for them.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think that's especially true when we're seeking not just an acceptable solution but the best possible one. For example, if someone just wants a suit that fits, we might be able to generalize it to like small, medium, large, and just take into minimal account their basic size. Yet if they want a suit which fits them perfectly, then we need the tailor to make all the subjective measurements and tailor the suit precisely to their unique body.

[lightbulb27]

yes, each indivual needs to discover what works for them. But there are clear things as well, example in diet... don't do the pure junk food diet and soda... doesn't work. It's obvious, but some will try.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Definitely and I think I'm at least reasonable in that regard. I'll certainly pitch in if someone thinks a mono chocolate diet is going to be a sustainable way to lose weight and not die in the process.

On the flip side though, that's a relatively recent discovery with sugar and refined carbs being so widely known to be detrimental to our health, for example. For a good portion of the time I grew up, there was a low-fat craze that many blindly followed but that often meant exchanging lower amounts of fat with higher amounts of sugar and then people are wondering why they're getting so overweight consuming very high carbs and very low fats under the false but widespread belief that consuming little fat means they won't get fat.

So I think it's always worth taking everything except the most blatantly obvious, most undisputed information with a grain of salt.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

There's also some exceptions often, like Natache Oceane. She often eats 300g+ carbs a day (much of which is refined) and still stays in excellent shape, but she trains like a maniac:
https://youtu.be/g78BJd_4g6w
Might not be optimal from a machine-like view but she's a carb lover and it makes her happy and low-carb diets make her miserable, so what might be sub-optimal from a physiological standpoint but might still be optimal for her when factoring in her psychology.

[Anonymous]

People get stubborn for all sorts of reasons, honey! Sometimes it's fear of change, like clinging to what's familiar even if it's not the best. Other times, it's pride – nobody wants to admit they might be wrong! There can also be a need for control, wanting things done their way, no matter what. And let's not forget emotions! Feeling hurt, angry, or defensive can make people dig their heels in. The key is understanding why someone's being stubborn and maybe approaching things a little differently to find common ground. It's all about open communication, honey!

[IslaTheWitch]

nah... maybe a bit of pride is involved but for me it's matter of facts

if you are not able logically prove your point I can't see any reason to change my perspective :D

[lightbulb27]

can lead a horse to water, but can't make them drink. the evidence is before their eyes... if they choose to see it.

[IslaTheWitch]

or you can prove it logically or not :D

[Billlewis]

I think the biggest reason is because they don't want to admit they were wrong. Just look at what a mess we are because of politics -- and even though every person in America knows damn well that their side didn't do anything except intentionally to wreck the country, three quarters of them will still go right back and pull that 'D' lever again. Now *that's* what you call stubborn.

[NewgodOmega]

They don't have to work as a team for survival
Let face it if we had to fight to survive and food then we would work as a team but now we don't have to all we have to do is pay some money life is easy hence people can be rude arrogant anything
One natural disaster can change all that trust me

[NathanDavis]

pride is just one way...

there's also stupidity

and you have frustration

there's some that are just wired down the brain and in some sort of fixation manifestations

and sometimes just for the fun of it...

you also have the best kind of it, which is a positive and usually called determination

[Dongie]

There's more than one form of being stubborn. One like you said, pride. Another is refusing to give up on an impossible task. That task could be saving anothers life. So loyalty/love. Why'd you climb that mountain, because its there.