If life isn't fair why do people assume that all your failures are your fault?

[Anonymous]

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

To reduce the probability of repeating them in the future. Doesn't require fault.

It's not a dog's fault if they pee on a carpet. They didn't know any better and can't know that they're not supposed to do that in advance. Still we might seek to train them in some way to reduce their odds of doing it in the future.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I actually think focusing too much on fault is counter-productive. Take the example of someone who shows up late repeatedly to work. Maybe they have valid excuses each time. Maybe they genuinely aren't at fault.

Still they're showing up late to work a lot, which means they're unreliable compared to the others who show up on time. So an employer is going to have to let them go regardless at some point regardless of whether or not they're at fault.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also they can still compensate. If they're just incredibly unlucky and constantly showing up late to work for reasons that genuinely aren't their fault whatsoever, they can still compensate by aiming to show up early, for example, to compensate for their horrible luck.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It's actually because life is so unfair that accountability can't just be about fault. Rarely anyone is 100% at fault. Like even with the example of showing up late to work above, there's the unpredictable nature of traffic, the electricity could go out, car could break down, the list goes on and on: there' are all sorts of things beyond a person's direct control that could impact their punctuality. So accountability to me is about owning up to far more than just things for which we are directly at fault. It's to strive to do better next time regardless because we need to do better regardless.

[Alex-Snow]

They are not always your fault. Sometimes we are just victims or are delt a bad hand

[menina]

I suppose it's because many people believe that we can fully control our lives. I believe that we can to a certain extent. Some things are out of our control, we can't predict them and sometimes we can't do anything about them.

[Asker]

Besides death do you believe in guarantees in life?

[menina]

Yes, I believe in sadness, danger and disappointments.

[Asker]

Do you believe that love is guaranteed for everyone?

[menina]

No. I believe that some people will never find love in their lives.

[Asker]

Cold hard truth

[menina]

Yes it is. Something that I realized a few years ago.

[IslaTheWitch]

because the chance, that someone else bears 100% responsibility of your failure is equal to zero

[Asker]

I didn't say blaming other people. But sometimes things are out of your control. Sometimes life screws you over. Not people

[IslaTheWitch]

an example?

[Asker]

You can be a good person who never did anything to other people but you get bullied in school all while the bully gets more popular and succeeds more than you while you continue to be bullied

[IslaTheWitch]

you can report bullies, you can switch school. Not taking any action while you can puts part of the responsibility on you

[Asker]

See that's part of the just world fallacy. Blsming the victim

[Asker]

Blaming

[IslaTheWitch]

lol pointing out that someone is passive is not blaming is showing that there is ALWAYS something we can do to make the situation better...

[Asker]

That's still blaming the victim

[Anonymous]

Fairess is a meaningless concept.

doggydude96a.blogspot.com/.../...ir-no-really.html

"My advice is to forget about fairness, if you try to deal in fair and unfair you will just be puppeted around by the people most able to provide reasons why what you want is unfair and able to show what they want to be fair"

[JacobJordan]

Sure life isn't fair but you still have control of your life so failures do mean you made poor choices. You don't just fail randomly you have to make choices that lead to that. As a result failures are your fault.

[Asker]

If im walking and a sinhole opens up underneath me, was that my fault?

[Asker]

Sinkhole?

[Asker]

If i get robbed or shot walking to a store was that my fault?

[JacobJordan]

A sinkhole would be classified as an act of God or a natural disaster that is entirely different. A sinkhole is not a failure nor are the consequences of falling one. As for getting robbed or shot. That is one of those situations where it isn't your fault but you also made a bad choice. In addition that is not a success or fail that is an unfortunate event. You can't use non success fail events as a means to justify your flawed argument. If you go to college and drop out that is entirely your fault as that means you made poor choices. If you lose your job that you had it implies you made poor choices. The possible exception would be if you were part of a large lay off that is an example of life not being fair and also not necessarily your fault. A natural disaster or being accosted is not a matter of success vs failure and as such is not a matter of fault

[Asker]

So you believe in the just world hypothesis

[JacobJordan]

Not particularly. If you make bad choices generally bad things happen. Doesn't mean it is deserved it just means you made bad choices. If you make good choices generally good things happen. Doesn't mean it is deserved it just means you made good choices. Deserve is a weird approach as that implies people deserve certain things. A really common example of this fallacy is people claiming everyone deserves respect. That is not remotely true. You have to give respect to get respect. In other words you need to make good choices to have good things happen. If made good choices more often we would see happier people. Even those in bad situations can still make good choices. Many choose not to.

[Asker]

You can give respect all the time but that doesn't mean you'll get respect. But plenty of shitty people succeed in life and plenty of bad people fail all the time

[JacobJordan]

Personality and decision making are different. Good choices tend to lead to good outcomes. Whether you are a good person or bad doesn't change the choice

[Asker]

It's a mix. It may or it may not.

[Anonymous]

Because life isn't fair. So people are not going to judge you fairly either.

I used to care what people thought Till I got over the half million mark. It was then that I realized I could be a millionaire and it would still not be enough for some people.

Run your race man and don't worry about what othe people think. You're playing rigged game.👍💯

[exitseven]

It is true that life isn't fair. some people are born rich and some are born with some sort of genetic gift. still humans have an incredible capacity to rise above adversity.

[HelpfulWoman]

depends. are the failures actually their own fault or not?

[Asker]

I don't know

[Jay-_-]

Some have the mind power, some don't , some fall and stay down, some fall and use it as motivation to get up higher then they were. It's all mentality, for me it's God that keeps me up AMEN, Glory to God.

[Mikeysoda]

You always have control of your mind regardless of your circumstances.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Who else's is it going to be? I have to accountable for my decisions, even if it was caused by an unfair predisposition or ignorance.

[OtterMan68]

Many British thought the Irish Potato famine was the Irish's fault, and they were starving because they were lazy and stupid

[jahaims]

Because you are responsible for yourself