Why is life only unfair for me? Why both my phones are out and my chargers are not working anymore. Ever since I came into this year, attended my younger brothers wedding, did a few good things for him, helping him move out of his other apartment with his wife and them into a new house and helped homeless people this past weekend, I've been punished. I've been facing a lot of unfair chastening and persecution, if God is control why is it that he only has good things happen to bad people, criminals and those who screw others over, but with good people he just lets bad things happen to them? Good people like children and older adults get shot at with no future, they get attacked. Why do I have to suffer for someone else's actions, this is not life, this is not living, it's not right. Yet, you can't question God, more importantly I wonder if he even exists, if there is a heaven or a hell, if no one has it more worser than anyone else, I'm thinking of going back to not liking women, sleeping all day, shutting the whole world off, reading comic books, dreaming in a different world. It's very tragic. I'm was born in '81, and yet nothing good comes from me being born in that year, yet alone April, April is a bad month, school shootings, assassination of Dr. King. November would've been better for me, because you don't mess up as much in November or December, the beginning of the year resolutions, I won't drink anymore, I will stop smoking, no one ever goes by resolutions ever. I see other people can get jobs, have their own car and their own place, I don't see anything of that for me, my life is constant peril and is getting nowhere fast, because of my belief in God, I wonder if I were Atheist, or an Agnostic. You suffer with God, but not nothing happens. It's weird to me. The world is very strange, I get dirty looks from people, I can't stand people and I want to not exist and have to talk to nor deal with people, I just want to be nonexistent. Why?
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