Are men more “Chill” in a social gathering than women?

[Justneedtokno]

Disclaimer: This is just a thought. This is not a true statement of any kind. I understand everybody is different that means thoughts, opinions, race, sex, gender, and whatever else that covers and whatever else that I may not have put into this statement.

It’s seems that when women get together, we have wonderful ideas can mostly be on the same page. But during and after somehow somebody rub somebody, the wrong way is jealous, becomes competition. It just becomes survival of the fittest and womanhood is thrown out the windows sometimes.


I am not a man, so I don’t really know the male experience. So men you may have to enlighten me on this

But from the outside, looking in men, don’t really do the same thing. Now they may do it but in a different way. Dominance sure competition sure, but I don’t know if they’re trying to outdo one another or spiteful little things I don’t know.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

We don't have these types of male-only get-togethers. You round up a bunch of heterosexual men in a bar and it's like, "Where are the women? This is a gay bar! Bring some more women!"

We like to compete a lot with each other. If you see two guys hang out for a night, we don't typically sit at the table in a bar. We compete. Play billiards, play darts, arm wrestle even. We introduce a competitive activity in between.

But women misdiagnosis this competitive activity as hostile a lot. We do size each other a lot. How much can you bench? Bahaha! I do double. Don't believe me? Get me a bench and a barbell right now, I'll show you!

But we don't get jealous when we get shown off this way typically. Because we're competing on so many dimensions. When I was a boy I was the fastest climber, swimmer, runner, my whole thing was speed. But I had a friend in our group who was a big boy and he almost broke my arm in arm wrestling. He was strength boy. And we had nerd boy and whatnot. We all discover who is who and who is good at what through competition. And the end result was allies and friends, not enemies.

When women compete, it is often very ugly in my experience, and that's why I think a lot of women see competition as a hostile and ugly thing prone to fuel jealousy and malice, like Nancy Kerrigan vs. Tonya Harding. Most men, starting from boyhood, learn to respect people who beat us rather than wanting to cripple their legs to prevent them from winning.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think a lot of this is because society doesn't put emphasis on the power and control of women. So when a woman feels defeated by another woman, she feels powerless, helpless, then what else can you do? Unless you're a saint, you get jealous, you want to stop her, crush her, make her look bad.

We men don't usually succumb to this level nearly as much because we have an upbringing of power. And we compete on so many levels. Can't beat the champion at deadlifts despite trying our hardest? Beat him at chess.

And we're moving targets. We men realize that. Just because I can't beat this guy at bench press today doesn't mean I can't tomorrow, and he knows that, and I know that. If women realized this, there would be a much healthier way of competing between women as I see it that leads to admiration, not envy, not catfights.

But women have to realize their own power and control to shape their future.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It's people in my opinion who have no sense of control over their outcomes who tend to succumb most to jealousy, to unhealthy competition with bad sportsmanship like being jealous over some person flirting with our SO. It's a sense that you don't have power.

You see that all around us in the world. In men too, look at what incels talk about. These are people with no power. So all they have is jealousy, insecurity, resentment. They feel like they can't change anything about their lives so they resort to pettiness.

Lots of men are normally raised with a sense like we have maximum control over our lives, maybe even more than we really have. If we have a bad future, that's our fault. If we have a good future, that's to our credit.

You think like a person in control over your life and you never get jealous. I have that illusion of control. So I've never gotten jealous of other men.

[Cheapskate]

Not my experience. I did national service with, like, ninety guys and one girl. And guys just fool around and tease each other and have fun and chill out and shoot the breeze and talk about life and chase women and so on. I generally think men are quite tolerant of each other and easy to get along with. They typically have a high ceiling for acceptable behavior and will often gently nudge you if they feel you're out of line.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Cheapskate I'm not actually sure where we have the disagreement. Apologies, my post was pretty long but I was ultimately agreeing that men are generally more chill and mainly because we don't treat competitiveness as a hostile activity. It's a friendly and cooperative one.

[Wiredone]

It really depends on the guy. There are guys that sit and chat about guy stuff over a beer. Then you have guys who would rather shoot some pool or play darts. Most guys are not into gossiping like women. We have tough skin so we don't get offended too often.

[handsomelad70]

I tend to be quiet around strangers, but am much more a lad's lad than someone who'd feel comfortable in a female-dominated situation.

[Wiredone]

@handsomelad70 you have to build up your self esteem. People with low self esteem are shy around strangers. It takes a while for them to open up

[handsomelad70]

Most really handsome men seem shy, especially around women. My cover boy handsome,26-year-old great-nephew is one.(I've ALWAYS had good self-esteem, owing to my looks and IQ;I need them to deal with fugly, dull-normal bigots.)

[Wiredone]

Thanks for the mho

[Cheapskate]

This is just anecdotal, but when I started in my current job, some of my new male colleagues really seemed to feel threatened. There was a young female employee who was very beautiful, and I guess they felt like I was competition, maybe. The most striking thing I have noticed is that since she quit, one of my older colleagues has been much nicer to me. I don't know if I changed and became less self-conscious and more easy-going because I am no longer working with a gorgeous colleague, or if he changed because there is no longer any male-on-male competition to impress her.

[NathanDavis]

definitely not...

there's always an idiot

[convo_king89]

Guys can debate and argue about the most dumbest things, but women will have drama and gossip.

[OtterMan68]

seems that way as women seem to be more concerned about their looks in social situations

[CuriousMufuxka]

Absolutely. Karens lose their shit much more than Kevins.

[handsomelad70]

Kevin Garnett?

[msc545]

We mostly hang out and talk about cars and women and sports and our jobs.

[dolemite58]

Ya the stereotype that women are catty didn’t just appear out of thin air 😂 men have drama sometimes tho some guys are just douches.

[Anonymous]

In general, yes.

[strateguy632]

yes..

[jahaims]

Duh.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, I think so.