Is there such a thing as being too pretty?

Question

Okay, let me just premise this question by stating that I am not, nor have I ever been, under the impression that I am "too pretty" by any means. I am simply posing the question out of curiosity.

Guys, when you see an extremely beautiful woman who is well dressed, confident, and sexy (but not in a crass sort of way), is it possible that her near perfection is almost unattractive? Do you ever get intimidated by a what some might call a perfect 10?

Also, would it be intimidating if this woman were ivy league educated, on top of being rather beautiful, well dressed, and poised?

It just seems to me that every woman who has the full package, so to speak, is almost always single... and not always by choice!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Modesty taken.

Obviously, there are always going to be guys that are just insecure. That psychology is simple. "I don't have any positive experiences with women I find attractive and want to be with by choice. This is a woman I definitely want to be with by choice. No woman has every seriously validated my value as a man. Therefore, based on my negative view of myself, and positive view of her, she's more valuable than me. Therefore, she's going to reject me. Therefore, it makes sense to forget about her and move on."

As for the psychology of reasoned choice to not pursue an attractive woman:

1. Do I just want to have sex with someone (as in, nothing but sex)?

--> Yes. Well, then she's not worth it. I've done the cost/benefit analysis, and the marginal benefit to my penis of being with a marginally more attractive woman, is not worth it. Law of diminishing returns. Maybe a (5) is worth no more than 1 hour of my time per day. (Time, accounting for converting time into money to facilitate dating, as well as opportunity costs and time physically spent together). Why just 1 hour? Because my best alternative to being with that (5) is doing something that gives me 50 pleasure points in 1 hour. As soon as the (5) requires more time, I'm now better off with my alternative. My goal is to maximize my (total pleasure / time). If a (7) costs 1.3 hours per day, but she gives me 70 pleasure points, I will prefer her to the (5). That is because, for every hour of my time, the (7) gives me 53.8 pleasure points. Let's say the (10) costs 2 hours per day, but she gives me 100 pleasure point. From her POV, I should totally be going for her. After all, she's "so worth it." From my POV, for every one hour of my time, the (10) gives me 50 pleasure points. Therefore, if I want to maximize my pleasure, I will prefer to be with someone somewhere between a (7) - (9).

--> No. Well then, wtf does the (10) have to offer me besides her looks? Let's pretend she is auctioning herself, and men are her bidders. Her value to me is just a fraction of her looks, because I am interested in more. Her value to other men is 100% of her looks. In other words, I will never be willing to bid as much as other guys for her, because she doesn't satisfy my interests.

Now, here's the irony.

What if that same (10) had all those other qualities? Yale Law, Harvard Business, John Hopkins Medical; summa come laude; her family is worth over $14 billion; she's on the Board of Directors of several corporations and charities; artistic; creating; intelligent; philosophical; open and genuine personality; etc.

Let's go back to the bidding analogy. 100% of her qualities satisfy my interests, and her looks satisfy 100% of other guys' interests. The problem is, we're both willing to bid exactly the same. She has no control over her buyer, because apart from her fantasy or female delusions, she really can't filter/test a quality guy out. So maybe being single is best for her.

Ryan82 · Accepted Answer

Many times, myself included regretfully, you assume that a girl like you described is going to be arrogant... Being a "perfect 10" also increases the chances that she will reject you, assuming that she has a very large pool of guys to choose from. It's also just a confidence thing for guys, asking "why would this perfect girl like me". If she's very educated and maybe has a very strong income it can be emasculating to a guy...which sucks for her (and the guy) if she is ambitious (but that's a whole new discussion). So it wouldn't be false to say that she would be "almost unattractive", not physically, but for the reasons I discussed. Maybe other reasons too, but the ones I stated here almost every guy would agree.

I think guys that are considered "strikingly handsome", or whatever you want to call it, have trouble with women thinking that they are arrogant. That's what sparked your question isn't it? The way you feel about super hot guys. You wonder if guys feel that way about great looking women...?

belby · Accepted Answer

I think nobody should be too pretty, because there's always something to improve. but maybe girl after many plastic surgeries is too pretty to be real and people won't like her.

FlightAuror2 · Answer

...is it possibly that her near perfection is almost unattractive? Yes, because there's no such thing as perfection. However, I will argue that there can be perfect matches for certain people, but I argue even the Dalai Lama himself is not perfect, despite the many years of self-study he has endured. If she appears to be perfect, it feels guaranteed that there's something dangerous hiding in her closet, alongside a million skeletons.

Do you ever get intimidated by a what some might call a perfect 10? Of course! My general assumption is that if someone is so good looking and has everything together then they would have met someone by now and are by no means either looking, or perhaps they don't have room in their life for another person.

...would it be intimidating if... education, ...beautiful, well dressed, and poised? Of course. It would be even more intimidating if I knew absolutely nothing about anything she was talking about. You have to be able to relate to a person you're in a relationship with, after all. As to whether having a Master's would be intimidating when I have a Bachelor's, no, that's not it, but if she came off as "I know more than you" then yes, that's intimidating.

And it might not be her choice, but from my experience those women do have some sort of flaw which prevents them from finding someone. There's a Dr. at the college I graduated from who is very intelligent, she's fit, dresses well, runs (with some exceptions) the entire music department of the college, but she's single. However, she works (A LOT), she can be very bossy even in her personal life, if not pushy, she appears fake sometimes, and if she doesn't get her way she'll squeeze the balls of authority until she does. She's excellent when it comes to business, but she's not marriage material.

pezzonovante88 · Answer

Well, I'm sure many guys don't pursue certain woman because of the factors you mentioned. It really depends on the guy's feeling of self-worth and the girl's willingness to accept, and perhaps even pursue men that would be suited to her. I think very pretty, smart, level-headed woman have enough good judgement to avoid the douches that pretty woman are so often seen with, but the quality guys aren't necessarily bold enough to pursue such a girl who seems to "have it all". One issue, however, with woman that "have it all" is that they are often overly full of themselves and will not be content with anything or anyone (ie. they will never be happy). So, true as it may be that a girl like this could be "intimidating", guys may have the right instinct not to pursue such a girl because they sense that they will never be able to satisfy her.

Anyway, yes, you are pretty, and if you have an ivy league education then that's great, but there is always going to be someone who is "at your level" or above that you can try to be content with.

sunmonster · Answer

My fiance, who is 25 is a beautiful well-educated woman who speaks 3 languages and received her double bachelors degree in 3 years and her master's degree in 1 year. I know for a fact that the men were very insecure around her- especially because she graduated at the top of her class.

Men are afraid of women who are successful because society says men are supposed to be the intelligent bread winners.

Most men would prefer to f*** the hot chick and marry the average girl- which is screwy I know. But it's because men are afraid the gorgeous girl would cheat on them or leave them because they do have the full package.

So, to answer your question- a gorgeous woman has the ability to form her own educated opinion and who can leave you terrifies us men because you can shatter our ego and break our hearts.

bauer · Answer

I'm only attracted to these types of women so I disagree with you to a point - guys that know what they want and are confident go for it even if she's a perfect 10.  You'd be surprised how friendly these women are.  But yes, most guys are insecure and simply don't feel good enough for these women, which means they aren't good enough.  Gotta believe you deserve it before you can go for it.

john5246 · Answer

This is so about you. And no there's nothing wrong with it, but people will hate you  because you're beautiful, get used to it.

TheGoodTheBadTheHOT · Answer

In theory - yes.

In practice - I don't know. I'm personally terrible when it comes to approaching women, but that's not to do with them being perfect, it's to do with my self-inflicted confidence issues. I'm not as bad as some but I won't really make a move unless the woman is sending some definite signs my way.

guy532 · Answer

no I'll get get nervous/shy if they really are that "perfect" but that would never keep me from trying to get her.  Ivy league doesn't mean anything, I know a hand full of people that go/have gone to an ivy league school and they have no common sense.

AndyTheG · Answer

There will always be intimidating things in life.  Performing on stage, going to a job interview, talking to an attractive girl - but I'm the kind of person (and there are many more like me) who will go out and do these things regardless of how scared I might be.  Despite how low the chances of winning the lottery are, people still buy tickets.  A woman's attractiveness is, to me, not an obstacle - it is an invitation, an opportunity.

Anonymous · Answer

Nobody is perfect. The girls you are talking about are not even close to perfect... They have brains and goods looks but they all have issues just like any other person. I go after those good looking girls that have or are working on higher education. They have personality flaws and issues just as bad as people that are on the were not as fortunate in those areas. No one is a ten, and that's fine with me.

drummerdude25 · Answer

It's a fear of rejection... Or the guy just simply doesn't like the girl enough to make an effort. There are a lot of great guys that are single too tho. It's not just women.

Anonymous · Answer

yep. guys don't like approaching girls they are most likely going to be rejected by. lol...

SnackG · Answer

Yeah and she doesn't even have to be perfect like you described. For me I basically think that for any kind of attractive girl..

Ezmotts · Answer

Too pretty for a certain individual, but not to everybody.

Wassup · Answer

No because all girls have imperfections

Anonymous · Answer

You can never had too pretty

Is there such a thing as being too pretty?

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