You either "deal" with your demons, or your demons deal with you?

[lightbulb27]

You either figure out your issues and address them, or those issues control you...

Agree?

ALL POLITICAL RESPONSES WILL BE DELETED OUT OF RESPECT FOR... HUMANITY. THIS IS NOT ABOUT POLITICS, IT'S ABOUT YOU PERSONALLY.

Yep

Nope

Never thought bout it, dunno

[Lliam]

I have dealt with my "demons" and done a lot of soul searching in my life. It's

Whenever I have a bad interaction with someone I process it over and over, trying to understand what happened and what I should have done differently.

I had a tendency to lash out verbally at times when I was frustrated or hurt.

I lost a couple of good friends in my late teens and twenties because I thought they had been disloyal. After years of reviewing those instances, I realized that I had been the one who was in the wrong.

Also, at the job I got when I was 26, there were times when I felt overworked and ran my mouth. I resented authority. I sort of had the attitude that there was a conspiracy against me and I was defending myself.
At some point I realized that the problem was in my mind. After that, my mind relaxed, I became happy, and life became much easier.

That job resulted in another problem. When I got it, I had to cut my rock star hair and wear a suit. At that point, I didn't recognize myself. I no longer fit in with the type of people I used to be comfortable with, but I also felt like an imposter in a suit.

Once I was on the job, people took me out to really good restaurants for lunch every day. I discovered food for the first time in my life. I started eating a lot and, because the job was sedentary and kept me really busy, I was not longer as physically active as I had been. Because of eating, lack of exercise, and depression, I had gained about 50 lbs by the time I was 29.

I no longer had a girlfriend because I didn't want the kind of girl who would want me. I didn't like myself.

During my early 30s, I read some self-help books and explored spirituality. That's when I turned my attitude around at work.

When I was 33, the company offered Weight Watchers to employees, so I enrolled.
In 6 months, I lost my excess weight and got back into really good shape.

When I was 34, I got a gorgeous girlfriend. I felt good about myself for the first time in 8 years. I had grown up.

That relationship lasted about 8 months. Then, when I was 36, I met a 30 year old We lived together for almost 2 years. She is the first girlfriend I ever fully and truly loved with all my heart. And she loved me.

We separated even though we still loved each other. That's a long story and I have spent the rest of my life trying to understand it. But separating from her was the greatest pain I have ever experienced. It took me a year to pull myself together and move on with life.

During that time, I did more soul searching and research.

I met my future wife when I was 40. During our first year together, she asked if I would be willing to see a couple's counselor with her. It wasn't because we were having any conflicts. She wanted to see if we were right for each other and if I was serious or just a player.

I had never considered counseling before, but I figured "Why not?"

So we did that once a week for several weeks and learned a lot about each other. I learned a LOT about myself. It was interesting. It was tough at times digging deep, exploring some of my hidden childhood traumas, and being honest with myself.

Being with my wife for over 28 years has also taught me a lot. I have learned to control my tendency to lash out when I am hurt or frustrated. And I have learned a LOT about healthy communication.

[lightbulb27]

What I was looking for! It's a lot of growth looking back and it seems a lot of it started from meeting a good woman.
You write openly, and that is healthy.
What did you find when you looked for spirituality?

[lightbulb27]

And yes, those childhood 'wounds'... conditioning, training framed from how we experience it, casts us down stream. You are fortunate to have peeled that onion younger.
Sorry to hear of the love lost, I suspect she is the one that died years later. That be very traumatic in total. There's another fella out here similar... lost fiance. There's not much preparation for these issues.

[Lliam]

Yup. She's the one. I talk about her all the time. She's always a part of me.

Spirituality: I guess I was exploring inner peace. I read some Thích Nhất Hạnh and some Buddhist stuff. I wasn't "looking for Jesus" because I had moved past the idea of gods, a messiah, and eternal judgement years earlier..

[lightbulb27]

And you were able to find inner peace?

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, Lightbulb.

[lightbulb27]

Well earned! I assigned… most are auto.

[Lliam]

I can't say that I found total inner peace. I don't sit around meditating and contemplating my navel.
But my efforts made me attractive to my wife. And because of them, I recognized her as a woman who would be loyal and who I could happily spend the rest of my life with.

I don't think we would have been right for each other if we had met sooner.

[exitseven]

I do not believe in demons. We have free will and self control.

[lightbulb27]

You haven't seen them expressing themselves out of people? It should be ‘demons’, that which gets us into big trouble. Selfishness might be their seed.

[exitseven]

@lightbulb27 I see people that are selfish, stupid, out of control and misguided but those are not demons. They are lack of character.

[IslaTheWitch]

no... demons don't need to be "dealt with" or "deal with us"... they need to be acknowledged, accepted, and loved... so they will run away on their own :D

[lightbulb27]

Yes. Hug a demon day?

[IslaTheWitch]

I like this idea :D

[Ladsin2]

C I guess. My demons are just the voices in my head.

[lightbulb27]

Yes. 👏

[Anonymous]

It is not a big concern of mine.

[beefcakebradybatson]

YEP !!!