Why do people believe some people are only nice cause they're weak, and that they're actually spiteful and malicious deep down?

[Deserter3]

[egan3141]

Because it makes sense logically. If someone is overly nice, even to mean people, that doesn't make sense. However, if they are weak and unable to stand up for themselves, it now makes sense why that would avoid confrontation. There is also a lot of... is the word antecedents (?) related to "watch out for the quiet ones" or "the quiet ones are the most dangerous".

[Deserter3]

Ok but where does the assumption that they're terrible deep down stem from? They have no incentive to do nice for mean people

[egan3141]

Yes they do. Their incentive to be nice to mean people is to minimize the risk of the mean people hurting them, which is also where the deep down part comes from. When you are forced to be nice to everyone around you because you are too weak to defend yourself, you turn spiteful. Everyone gets to treat you like a doormat while you can't do anything about it. No one can live as a doormat and stay kind. As time goes on, even the slightest feelings build, until eventually they start hating anyone and everyone. Nothing creates a stronger hate then knowing if you do anything with your hate, you will just be beaten down harder.

[Deserter3]

Proof?

[egan3141]

Basic reasoning. Have you never had someone that pissed you off and you wanted to get even, but they had far more power (physical strength, authority, whatever) and so when you tried, you get beat down more, or you just didn't try because you didn't want to "lose" harder? Have you never bottled up emotions in the first place?

[Deserter3]

Just dont interact with them lmao

[egan3141]

What does that have to do with anything?

[Deserter3]

Cause you make it seem like to avoid confrontation you must kiss up and do favors, when you dont have to interact at all

[egan3141]

I wish my life was as nice as yours

[Deserter3]

It can be

[LazerBean]

Most of the time, it's just projection. A narcissist will refuse to believe that anybody is genuinely better than themselves, therefore that means everyone else has to be as selfish as they are.