Why are so many men choosing gaming over dating and relationships?

Question

I feel like this kind of thing would be divisive so let me put this out there, I am not hating on anyone.

In my friend group there are several men who are single. They are between the ages of 29 and 45.

One of the reasons i am posting this, i feel like women have "Expectations" But never want to have conversations with me about their side of dating. One of the most common responses to my questions from men is "I feel like its fine to have standards, and expectations, but more often than not, we feel like women expect perfection, like if i dont check some box, i am unworthy"

A lot of the men i know actually prefer gaming over dating because of the above.

Another response was "gaming doesn't humiliate you. Gaming doesn't make you feel like you're fundamentally inadequate. Gaming doesn't post photos mocking you to 2,000 followers"

Another response was "What's the point? I spent $40, 2 hours, and a week of psyching myself up just to be someone's mediocre Thursday night story. Or I could spend that time playing Valorant with my friends where at least I'm wanted."

Another response was "it's one of the only places I feel competent and successful. Work stresses me out."

Based on some of what i hear, i can see why.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Well if someone chooses to be single that’s fine people have their own reasons. The issue is prioritizing other things and not your partner gaming isn’t bad it’s a way to decompress and escape women some play video games but women do other things that overall aren’t productive but are ways to escape.

It’s not wrong even to need space and distance for someone to be comfortable comfortable with that as long as they find someone who’s the same. It goes for clingy people as well if you find someone clingy that’s fine.

It’s fine to have standards my issue is with people who feel entitled to the type of people they want and get mad when they aren’t chosen by the type of people they want. Yet theh have a laundry list of expectations and expectations they never hold themselves to.

If you want a bombshell woman who’s beautiful who obviously takes care of herself. But taking a shower or brushing your teeth and getting a haircut is too much of a challenge. Or a woman who’s a virgin but they man whore around. Or a woman broke and not financially responsible wants a man who had money. A woman who’s had her fun with bad boys now demands a good man to take care of her and who has it all together when her life is a wreck.

Master_Debator · Accepted Answer

Look at me... married with a free pass to cheat all that I want. I did at first. Fast forward to now.

I'm tired of women. More trouble than it's worth. I'd rather play Fallout 4 and jerk off into a sock or my wife, and go to sleep with no problems. My wife's offer to sleep with other women still stands... but um... the juice just isn't worth the squeeze. I'd rather just play video games to be honest. I don't like drama, the games, the emotional stuff, the bullshit... I'll just play fallout 4.

Women don't bring much more to the table that's positive other than sex... literally that's it. All that other shit sucks. They don't cook and clean no more... they'll just nag about it and make me do it while expecting me to serve them food and a lifestyle as well.

I can pay hookers to do that, have sex with them after, and then kick them out and play video games... no love lost, no love gained. Fantastic. The feminist utopia we live in... no kids anymore... the women seem to not even want them anymore anyways, so fuck it.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

For the same so many men are choosing gaming over other hobbies, hanging out with friends/family IRL, or doing things to improve their lives.

Gaming is easy, addictive, grants an instant dopamine hit, does not require you to meet any standards, does not require you to have social skills, does not require you to take regular baths, does not require you to have a job as long as you can somehow pay for your game. Also an increasing problem is that children raised on screens have negatively altered brains, and tend to grow into video game addicted adults. But usually, it ultimately comes down to parents who simply did not raise their children to have responsibility and self-control.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

A game will not talk back to you, it will not question your judgment and not have their own opinions that are against yours. You can control a game by shutting the application or turning of the computer.

That is something that is not possible with a partner, regardless of the gender of that partner. A partner requires attention and it would be odd to the partner if you favor the game over him/her. A game does not care if you swear at it or if you give it the cold shoulder.

My best guess is that those that prefer gaming over human relationships have never learned to be together with someone because it requires involvement.

InknKink · Answer

Because gaming is a multi-billion dollar industry and has absorbed an insane amount of information on how to emotionally manipulate and exploit people.

Social media does the same thing.

It's crazy how effective companies have become at exploiting people. They quite literally manipulate your brains chemistry to a point where you find difficulty gaining any amount of gratification from any other task. They make other more productive tasks a chore.

People saying gaming is easier and cheaper than relationships... that's brainwashed nonsense. Your time and focus is money. Think about the amount of hours you've invested into gaming. Hundreds? Thousands? for some people, tens of thousands...

What's your time worth? $20 an hour? 50? 150? What about if you invested your time on improving your social and economic value? What if you spent even 1/10 of that investing your energy into emotional and physical relationships?

What if... but no... go back to your gaming.

It's sad.

Jammannn · Answer

By that age you already know your market value and well if it hasn't been much fun, its not getting any better (Unless you undergo some huge change). Surpringly standards don't really drop too much even in their mid to late 30's, have a look at this app there are women who are in their late 30's overweight/schizophrenia expecting mr handsome, smart and kind to come sweep them off their feet. Sure they'll get him for a night, then say all men are horrible and go right back to it. Its insanity, but women like to pretend everythings all okay, its why you see none of them here when confronted with a real problem. Have a think of advice given to guys when they're struggling- Hit the Gym!! Work on yourself! Self improvement is at its core, because we ackowledge this shallow world for our market value. What do other girlies tell eachother? You don't need him, go put yourself out there. Its a world in which availability is all one needs. Now those perspectives can't really relate to eachother can they?

When you see thats how little it takes some and how much others, its pretty clear that its too much work for too little. Better to enjoy your life then get bogged down trying to meet the impossible standards as an average man. All the responses are other guys in the same situation its not a particularly uncommon one, the fact that its taken you having a multiple of friends in that situation, for a number of years, to even notice, when its your very same standards that created this.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

"gaming doesn't humiliate you. Gaming doesn't make you feel like you're fundamentally inadequate." Clearly these persons haven't played mass multiplayer online games then lol. Or they lie, because such games trend a lot. This genre of games regularly feature high intensity peer pressure, humiliation, random assault and harassment. Aside from that, gaming in general offers a fictional world where rules, goals and reactions are clear. As long as it doesn't imply social interactions, it is quite the opposite of real world complexity. That's why and how video game industry sells and attracts. A lot.

Finchie40 · Answer

It’s mainly the horror stories guys’ hear about relationships with girls’ , on how selfish and unhappy a girl can become in a relationship with a guy if things don’t go her way , or how she is only in it for money not love, or how often a girl cheats on her man and is good at covering it up , these are just examples of what guys’ see and read. about on a regular basis , and also how females’ are ranked the number 1 reason for divorce etc. We can thank social media for stereotyping each other on a regular basis and brain washing people to believe in this shit , So guys’ don’t want to take the chance of experiencing that heart break with a girl whatsoever

HighValue · Answer

The problem is women are far lower value than they think so they want MUCH more from a partner than she brings. Women should date short, weak, selfish, lazy men if they want actual equality in a relationship. Women are almost always significantly lower quality than the men they want and wander why most men are not interested.

Also, with most women being very selfish, greedy, lazy, unfair, argumentative, and so concerned with impressing their "friends" on social media, why would any man want them? It would only add stress to his life and be a financial drain.

If a woman wanted a good quality man with good morals, she needs to agree to not have a smart phone or social media, not have a promiscuous past, no tattoos, no drugs or alcohol, and actually be fair in the relationship. Otherwise, she is just a burden and not worth it.

worldscolide · Answer

Yeah this is a common thing. Why bother, gaming is easier.

When you have women out there who say that if you're not at least 6 feet tall, make 6 figures, and dont have a 6 pack abs you might as well be considered a virus.

Those aren't most women, But most good women aren't on dating apps. The ones you find on dating apps are just horrible.

Anonymous · Answer

I've found it easier to enjoy watching TV, doing productive chores, and contributing to society

These things don't leave time for a relationship - who the hell does anymore 😂😢😏😁 and the amount of affairs and divorces nowadays

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly? For the most part online gaming is far more rewarding than relationships with most women today. And the funny part about that is online gaming is just "fantasy accomplishments". You're spending time, sometimes you're spending money, and the end you have nothing tangible. But generally that's still more than you have with most women today.

Hope that helps you.

Anonymous · Answer

When I had a girlfriend most of my free time was spent with her and ignoring my computer and all of its games. I don't know why anyone would choose otherwise. Now, I could understand that some guys aren't getting dates or only interest from scammers and have decided to spend their time gaming instead of looking for a relationship that is unlikely to materialize.

bowenw · Answer

They may not have the social skills as a result of all the gaming to take someone out on a date.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Video games provide a sense of accomplishment and adventure. I don't think it can truly replace relationships but it's a decent substitute at the moment.

AgentG111 · Answer

They know what to expect out of a game. They don't get lied to and cheated on. They don't get used.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Well my Playstation dosen't steal my house, half my money, and 30 to 70% of my income.

jahaims · Answer

Because most humans are broken trash not worth dating

Anonymous · Answer

Some of us don't have any other choice.  Girls I like - Usually don't like me back. Girls who like me - Are usually not my type.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

To paraphrase Country singer Luke Combs, games never broke their heart.

Anonymous · Answer

Men invented the state to deal with problems too big for an individual or trusted group to deal with. Women became one of those problems. Some people are just unhappy with the solution.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Gaming is cheaper and a lot less stressful.

exitseven · Answer

A video game will never cheat on you or dump you.

Zionne · Answer

they must be in comfort fs

Iron_Man · Answer

Because they are broke

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Preservatives in the food

EGGMAN1998 · Answer

Cuz dating women is next to impossible

Anonymous · Answer

not all guys can lol wasted effort

In_Trance · Answer

Because it's easier

Danny_dan92 · Answer

More peaceful

QuietRunner · Answer

easier life

Why are so many men choosing gaming over dating and relationships?

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