It depends on what you are doing that you classify as "nice". Unfortunately what often happens is that behavior that is passive, non-assertive or plain wimpy gets labeled as "nice" when it isn't.
Girls are not such fans of "bad" boys as you would think. I do believe when we are young and just starting out, girls can fall for a guy who they are attracted to and be treated poorly, but eventually either those guys ditch us or we tire of the poor treatment. We tend not to pick another guy like that again. Women in their 20's and older want a guy they can rely on, one they see as trustworthy and will be there for them and, possibly, their children. Bad boys aren't those guys.
However, "nice" guys may not be those guys either. Nice guys can be the guys who are passive and are not advancing in a career or in life because they lack the social skills to stand up for themselves and/or the people around them. A nice guy may seem like he actually is just interested in friendship too because he never knows how to seal the deal and show a girl that he wants her romantically. Worse is the nice guy who is so afraid of losing the girl he likes that he agrees with everything she says and tries to show her that he will do whatever she desires. Most people, men and women, don't really stick with a person who offers no challenge to our behavior. We all have times our partner should call us out for doing something that is hurtful or uncomfortable for them.
So, I personally think a good guy (not nice guy) wins the day. We want a guy who is trying to do what is right, not be a doormat we can step on. We want a guy who shows he can stand up for himself and, therefore, for us. We want a guy who shows he will get somewhere in life because he is in charge of his actions. And we are fine if not attracted to a guy who doesn't always do what we want and can be a challenge as long as he is not a douche.
Apparently, cruel and indifferent badboys seem to win the hearts of all the girls. But I believe that only applies to the early stages of teenage life and school life. Once puberty and maturity is finally challenged and realized, nice guys in the long run will get the ladies. To me, marriage is definitely more likely to succeed for a man who acts with altruism and integrity toward his woman. But then again, I haven't fully matured yet and could be horribly wrong. Good luck. :D
I'm going to have to disagree with that. Usually I keep the bad boys as just friends. It's rare you find a bad boy willing to be exclusive and loving. Their fun as h*ll, but definitely NOT boyfriend material. You just have to look for a girl who's not into the drama that the bad boy brings (I know, it sounds impossible. But I exist so there has to be others out there). Good luck and don't give up if you fail a few times.
i don't like calling it maturity I like calling it phases of life. Girls are dumb, they like the guys that treat them like sh*t. I can prove it over and over again.
and then when they hit their next phase, they ask themselves why they can't just find a nice guy.
HA!
karma's funny isn't it..
look man, be who you are and say what you feel. those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
one day a REAL women will be so appreciative of you, be thankful that she met you and you two will be happy with each other.
dont think of it as "all nice guys are just friends" think of it as "you eventually want to marry your best friend" sure the girls may push you away and not want to hook up...fine, its their loss...
it does take some work and you do have to discipline yourself to stay out of the friend zone...its not really being nice that gets you into the friend zone, its BEING A FRIEND that gets you in the friend zone - its hard to explain
just be yourself, its their own damn fault when they realize mr a**hole isn't what they truly want in a man...sure everyone wants what they can't have, but how long are you going to live your life chasing after someone that isn't willing to chase after you...you don't want to be second best, you want to be first
DO NOT change who you are, there is a girl out there for you and you two will be the ones WINNING...not the couple that chased each other around and thought they wanted them and thne gets divorsed years later...
good luck man, just let love find you
No. I am the nice guy. I've had plenty of fun and too many girls got to clingy and had to reject them. I'm not the most attractive guy, but I am a nice guy. You will not always be the friend. You just haven't met a girl that's worth your time, romantically.
And hey, it doesn't hurt to dress, kind of sharp. Maybe also, don't dress just like a friend. Random thoughts.
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Nooope.
It's only the guy that acts like just-a-friend, that will always be just-a-friend.. The guy who's got it all together, who can be friendly with her, but who can also spark her attraction, and who knows how to convey interest in the right way WILL GET THE GIRL.
So: if you want to be MORE than just-a-friend, you'll just have to ACT like you could be more than just-a-friend.
FWIW,
TimB
I agree with what Tamikaze said, except I'm 16 and don't like bad boys (in fact I hate them... like I hate nasty behavior in general...) I prefer cute and sensitive guys
The exact same things goes the other way around, guys don't like girls who are too nice either and a lot of them only go for sluts, a slut is like the female form of a "bad boy"
The nicest guy in my life right now is my boyfriend :D I actually dislike "bad guys." most of them seem to be self absorbed, immature, arrogant, and demanding lol
There are ways to avoid it. Flirting a bit might help, not being too much of a friend might also help (like not hanging out or calling them religiously, every few days should be fine). Make sure you're also working on your general appearance, you can't go wrong with that.
Nice guys that have backbones and show that they can provide women a sense of comfort and protection do not end up as friends.
source: I am an extremely nice guy that is not afraid to show a women who I truly am / what I want. It works with women and you end up being honest from the start.
So far it seems like the nice guy is typically just a friend. Break the cycle! I'm not sure how, but go for it! In my case, I know we're both really shy and I think being so nice prevents him from taking any action to fix the "just friend" status. I'd have him in an instant if he indicated that he wanted to go to the next level, but he won't just come out and say it. We're both too nice and shy so we're stuck in the friend-zone. :(
good luck!
Nice guys that have backbones and show that they can provide women a sense of comfort and protection do not end up as friends.
source: I am an extremely nice guy that is and not afraid to show a women who I truly am / what I want. It works with women and you end up being honest from the start.
No, nice guys for me are the guys I want in my life and not just as friends. They might start off that way of course but being very close friends is a big part of what makes two people click, assuming they are also attracted to each other.
If I can't have a nice guy then I don't want one at all :D
All "nice guys" should read this:
link
if you don't want to end up as a friend, don't treat her like a friend. Let her know your interest as soon as possible so she mentally puts you in the "potential" category.
pretty much...
Im batting a 1000 with the whole friend thing. 5 girls, 5 friends, 0 girl friends.
I let it be known that I liked them and wanted more. They didn't =/
Unfortunately yes, the nice guy is usually ALWAYS just the friend. I know in the past I've said to all the 'nice guys' that liked me: "I just like you as a friend"
no. If your outgoing, funny and nice there should be no problem. If your nice and boring forget about it.
You just gotta let your feelings know beforehand or you'll remain a friend.
Trust me bro just accept it. I know how you feel eventually things will change.
No, that's an exscuse used by guys who can't get girls.
Pretty damn true my brotha
pretty much
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