Is being a NICE guy a bad thing?

[Loveitloveit]

Like once i like someone, I would help them anyway i can, Is this a bad thing should i be more badass and not be to nice?

[jaybee281]

I say don't sacrifice who you could be for who you are (Thank you dr peterson) - If what you want is women to like you and see that you can actually be that dude and it'll make you happy - then do that - The problem with niceness is that it's usually too ass kissy and wishy washy and girls know it - From what I've personally seen - and I've seen a lot since that I'm both curious and enjoy analyzing things - You either want to be the good guy who is a good leader (you get people together you initiate plans to hangout) and encourages other people and listens in a not wishy washy way but because he wants to listen - Or you could be the individualistic bad guy who genuinely doesn't give a shit who somehow has his style on point - Remember though either one has to be authentic to you - The problem with "nice guys" is that they operate from a low confidence standpoint so when someone tells you to "just be yourself" and it doesn't work - it's actually because you fucked it up since that you originally ain't your actual self... reach that higher level of confidence and see what appeals to you

[JohnPrestwick]

Fred Rogers was married for nearly 50 years, so why should it be a problem?

It's good to be kind, generous, courteous and empathetic. In the long run, guys with those qualities are the most successful husbands. However, you also need to put yourself out there to meet girls and ask one out. A jerk who puts himself out there will have more success (especially in the short-term) than a good guy who stays at home.

Another issue is if a guy should avoid coming across as a 'desperate nice guy'. This means someone who is so overly eager to please a woman that he always agrees with what she says, offers himself as available every single day, and things like that. This behavior feels forced and unnatural, and reeks of desperation. Coming across as desperate is a turn-off, not being nice.

[Cherry234]

It's good to be a nice person. You should be nice. But there is such a thing as being "nice." This means that the only reason you're nice is that you expect people to do things for you and feel entitled to attention from someone. That's the wrong type of nice to be. But it's good that you're nice and not demanding attention from people

[AmandaYVR]

Be nice. Don't be so 'nice' that you get walked over, or taken advantage of, or waste your hard-earned money or time or energy on someone who is not appreciative.
But if they are respectful and appreciative... it's all good. Nothing wrong with that. Ignore the trite generalizations about how you have to be bad to be noticed.

[t-8900]

Excellent words milady

[AmandaYVR]

@t-8900 Thank you, t. 👒

[BluishGaze]

I think you misunderstand why "nice guys" are considered red flags.

Being nice is basic human decency. Yes, you ought to be courteous to your significant other, friends, family, co-workers, and patrons. And part of being nice is to NOT expect anything in return... but we know no one's perfect.

No one should be calling themselves "nice."
Personally, I TRY to be a nice person, but I know I won't always live up to my own standards.

Therefore, when ever you hear someone—anyone—calling themselves "nice," it's usually because they're trying to prove something. Perhaps to compensate for something, even. And these are typically the type of people with short fuses.

[FreyaRed]

Be self-confident nice. Most guys smear honey around their mouths and talk nicely with a lot of cheap flattery, if you dare to say something they don't want to hear they turn into spoiled divas or psychos. This is behavior of manipulative kindergarten girls and no one wants a partner who behaves that way.

[DizzyDesii]

I think its good to be nice to the people that matter like your significant other, your parents, and your boss. Everyone else is fair game. Anybody can get it if they dont come correct

[AviatorTom]

I've tried to be a NICE GUY my entire life. Sure, I've slipped up a few times, but being nice overall has helped me lead a good and enjoyable life. I've met and loved many good people, like my current SO.

[Bluemax]

Better to be good. What is the difference, you ask? Good is being nice plus courageous.

Don't be a nice guy. Be a good man.

[Anonymous]

Some girls like the "bad boy" type. Others have been burned by the bad boy enough times and are truly looking for a nice guy. No one can ever be everyone's type, and that's okay. Not everyone needs to like us, but the right person will.

[Fireguy17]

just be yourself.
You don't want to smother someone by doing, or trying to do everything for them, it is ok if they flounder a bit every so often.
And they can't miss you if you never go away.

[Apulu_3]

It is your personal opinion not the opinion of people. Choose the life you want to stay in because it is yours not others.

[Therisinghero12]

It's not about being nice, being nice is the bare minimum decency you should give to people, it's about being nice and then feeling entitled to things because of it, doubly so if you turn mean if you don't feel that you got what you're entitled to.

[whosnumber1]

no be a nice guy. be yourself. but - there's nothing wrong with being a little indifferent. indifference creates intrigue of your interested or pursuing someone

[JosyJosy]

In the way you describe it, no, but... make your intention known

[exitseven]

No, as long as you don't let people walk all over you.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Definitely not. The good you do from the heart will come back to you eventually. Just don't let people take advantage of you.

[Twalli]

Nice guy is different than goid person or nice person. Nice guys are only nice until they get a girl.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Prioritize yourself, king

[Blaine999]

It can make you easily taken advantage of but it's not bad, being nice.
Be nice to friends and family when they deserve it but be a monster to your enemies

[ChiPaPa]

Anyone can be nice. It's not really much of a thing to get someone interested in.

[Glasgow55]

Definitely not. Although sometimes it makes life difficult, but it isn’t a bad thing.

[Smashingdoozy]

Being nice is literally the bare minimum

[Smashingdoozy]

When guys say "but I'm a nice guy" what you're saying is "I will put in the bare minimum amount of effort into our relationship even though being just nice is literally human standard, I have no other personality"

[G5TWA1]

I think you are confusing nice with polite

[Smashingdoozy]

Nope.

[cosmicallyinclined]

why would it be a bad thing?

[dreammy]

nothing is wrong with being nice

[EaterPeter]

Yes.

[anylolone]

Nope.