Can being too nice be a turn off?

[partymarty112]

I'm a nice guy, I like to open doors, pay for dinner, give massages and all that, does this end up hurting me in the long run my friends say women like being treated like shit and I'm way to nice?

[wildncrazykid]

That's a myth that girls like being treated like shyt. Some rich or good looking guys do treat girls that way because they assume that their looks or money will pull them women despite their nasty attitudes. And yeah the women stick with them. And abusive relationships are a whole different story (it's actually an addiction). But I love a nice guy. A guy who is a gentleman and treats people (including me) with respect. There is a certain point where you may go too far and the girl feels like she could walk all over you. For instance, I went out with this guy who tried too hard to make me laugh and was constantly checking with me to make sure I wasnt upset or offended by anything he did. It got old fast. If a guy bought me everything I wanted or who didn't give anything back when I gave him an attitude constantly; I'd assume he was a pushover. I like a man with self-respect too. It's a fine line, but you learn to walk it if you respect yourself.

[Sunset77]

Don't stop being nice! The RIGHT woman will appreciate you and treat you well in return. Being a nice person myself, I appreciate men who are also nice, I love men who act like gentlemen, are caring, thoughtful, considerate etc.

The only women who like being treated like shit are the emotionally immature ones or the ones who like dramas or who themselves are NOT nice people. Emotionally mature, loving, kind, sensitive women DO like nice men.

Please don't change, there are too many jerks out there and not enough nice men. You WILL find a woman who appreciates you sooner or later!

[ashley-205]

I think that it's wonderful the things that you are willing to do for someone that you care about, BUT I was one of those girls who had someone to do some of the same things for me, after a while I started expecting those things and when they didn't happen I was mad as hell. In the end I did not appreciate the things that he did do for me.

So yes sometimes being nice can turn on you. But to me it is not a turn off.

P. S. You look nice in your picture!

[archer86]

This has befuddled me in all my 38 years of life. Women want these tough guys all the time and complain about being treated like dirt. I would think women would like nice men who are polite and courteous yet nobody wants the nice guys because the damage from the prior relationships have been done. I wear neon signs over my head reading 'NICE GUY RIGHT HERE! " Yet no takers. A man has to be the complete package for women. Must be nice yet strong and confident. Tall, handsome, financially secure, race-specific. Obedient to her every desires yet take charge. Know everything yet be aware she knows more than you.

I don't know young man, never made sense to me. What I do know is that being a nice man is better than being a jerk.

[Pete-67]

How many girls do your friends that say treat women like crap actually have? What's the longest relationship they've been in? Never treat women like sh*t. That being said, I agree with the other guys: Be yourself; Be Confident; Be Strong. You don't have to be syrupy-sweet nice all the time. Being courteous is good, but women like being a little independent, too. Sometimes they have to earn stuff like massages and the like. Something earned is always worth more to a person than something they go for free, no?

[madcat44]

No don't change it up, there's plenty of women out there that would appreciate nice guys like you, you just have to find a girl who appreciate that treat. Your better off if you keep that up, and it will help you in future relationships. Guys who are jerks all the time to girls will have problems in there relationships because eventually we get tired of being treated like crap and move on and learn to like nice guys. =]

[MaceyRyan]

I don't get the whole "women like being treated like crap" thing. You show MANNERS and some women find all that very romantic, actually. :]

Don't be concerned about what your friends say, your doing fine!

[ALWAYSclassy]

Don't do it to every girl, make sure she's worth it so you don't get played by a bitchy girl. Real women do not like being treated like shit but insecure girls do. I would be a little bit freaked if a guy started showering me with niceness early on because I would assume he's being fake though.

[tyciol]

It will end up hurting you in the long run if you have a masochistic attraction towards girls who take advantage of nice guys or who spurn their advances. But depending on your disposition, you might be okay with that.

Don't generalize anything about females, just because some might like getting treated like shit doesn't mean they all do.

[KatieStupendous]

The thing is, every girl is different.

I like a guy who can be a real gentlemen but an asshole at times too. Every relationship needs a little friction, and nice guys tend to make everything work too perfectly.

I personally get a little turned off if a nice guy is "too available" to me. Like always calling, or texting...I kinda like anticipation and I like my alone time.

I also would aggree with ur friends, I like being treated a little sh*tty, but in a jokingly way!

[TheLeeder]

It becomes a turn off when you use these things as a supplement for your personality. Actually, supplementing ANYTHING for 'who you are' is a turn off.

Best piece of advice. If what you're doing isn't working; don't ask others, just try something else.

-TheLeeder

[saturdayx]

DON'T CHANGE! A lot of women like that! And if you're genuinely nice then keep it up =) I think you'll be better off in the long run.

[Cool-Relax]

I think it's nice when guys do stuff like that. There's a huge difference between being a "tough guy" and being a jerk, and if you can't even hold the door open for someone, you're a jerk. That's a huge turn-off in my opinion.

[millionaremia]

Hell to tha no! No being too nice isn't a turn off in some cases but it's really WHO your being nice to. The right person will eventually come along and appreciate who and what you are and do.

[drakal76]

A have to aquantences that recently lost their wives. These two guys worshiped their wives and treated them like goddesses and then they ran off on them. How's that for appreciation.

[music-gal01]

Being to nice can get annoying. But most of the time it really depends on the girl and I don't know who your friends are talking about but I don't wanna be treated like shit I can tell you that.

[Jessie]

Maybe your a little to nice, but it all depends on the girl, she may be into guys that open doors and stuff, but some girls like mysterious guys that aren't all sweet someone they haven't discovered everything about. So in some cases it can be a turn off!

[Elizabeth-Bennet]

I think being overbearingly nice can get annoying, but being sweet in good regulation is wonderful. Opening doors is nice, the occasional romantic gesture is nice-- but when it happens all the time, like someone said, you begin to expect it and it takes the sweetness out of it.

[Love5]

No. Being nice is a wonderful!

There aren't too many of those around. And that's what most women are looking for adding to the personality.