The girl you don't want but never get rid of?

[Anonymous]

He doesn't want me. He doesn't want a relationship with me, but he won't get rid of me . . .

WHY do guys do this?

[PsychMike]

He probably wants you in his life because he cares about you, but doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. This is a common occurrence. There could be many factors behind why a guy might do this to a girl. I will make a list of possible causes:

1. He likes you, but he just isn't sure he wants to be with you.

2. He just simply doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but maybe wants to stay friends.

3. He is stringing you along as a back up in case he is feeling lonely some time.

4. There is another girl he is more interested in, but isn't quite sure about her yet. So basically you are still a back up.

5. His friends might be telling him not to go out with you.

6. Something you don't know about is going on, like something that may be going on in his life that has nothing to do with you, but is bothering him and he doesn't want you to have to deal with it.

These are just some of the most common examples as to why a guy would do something like this to a girl.

The best thing to do would be to give him space and don't interact with him very much. Keep convos short and to the point and only show interest after he first shows interest in you. Guys will be inclined to talk to you more if you seem uninterested in them after they hve seen interest shown previously. Stop showing interest and watch him come wondering why. If it is meant to be, it will be. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your response. It has shed a lot of light on this situation . .. very well said and put together!

[a-nn-a]

I couldn't have said it better lol I'd also like to add that some guys are cowards and can't handle the breaking up with a girl so they wait until you basically break up with them to save em the trouble. A guy I was seeing a couple of months ago actually admitted to doing this to his ex. He said he wanted out but didn't want to do the breaking up so he became distant and acted like a jerk to get her to break up with him instead.

[Little-Hippie]

You don't particularly like McDonalds.

You know the food's quite fattening and it's definitely not the best place you can go for a burger.

But you know that when you go, you'll always get a double cheeseburger from the Dollar menu and it will always be that same burger that you're not particularly impressed with,

but you've come to recognize the taste and you can live with it. There are no surprises and there's no learning curve needed to get used to it.

It's just a McDonalds Cheeseburger.

And it's always convenient.

[stephyone]

Hahah good anser lol

[Asker]

Well said!

[Little-Hippie]

Thnx!!! yay!

[BirdofParadise]

My ex is the same way with me. He stills wants all the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship but doesn't want the relationship. I can't do this because I did this before and it just makes me insecure and I can't trust him anymore.

When I think about it, I believe he does care about me and part of him wants to be with me, but there are things about our relationship that weren't working and he believes they will never work. So perhaps your guy does want you, but he sees having a relationship with you making him unhappy. You can try talking to him and seeing if whatever aspect of the relationship would be or was a problem can be fixed. If he is unwilling to discuss it, then get rid of him. You shouldn't keep your hopes up for someone who will never change.

[likethat24]

me and one of my good guy friends lost our virginity to each other about... 6 years ago now and believe it or not we're still good as mates. we slept together for a good wile while drifitng in a out of relationships with other people. I guess we would fall back on each other. he's had a girlfriend for the past year but she knows how me and him are. we still txt and talk on the fone. we share a few mutual friends and went through highskool together. I don't see him as a guy id ever go out with tho or get serious with. he's told me ill always be a good friend and he wants to stay friends with me for a long time. I find it cool and I kno I'm not a bad person so I don't see why he wouldn't want to be friends with me lol

[ALWAYSclassy]

He's being selfish. You are the convienient fallback girl that he has whenever he gets bored or needs something from you. He doesn't want you but he wants whatever he gets from you when you are there, you know what I'm saying? He won't get rid of you because you serve some purpose to him. Walk away because you can do better than being some guy's back up plan. If you're not 1st choice don't settle.

[Ghostwriter]

Comfort. How long have you guys known each other? He doesn't want to lose what you guys have, but also wants a little icing on his cake. Are you guys having sex? If so, friends with benefits can be very appealing to someone who doesn't want to commit. If you want to be with him you need to tell him, hey, I either want to be with you or not at all...unless you're okay with that situation. Once you've crossed the boundary in friendships, it's very hard to go back. If you don't like him as a friend I would just split altogether and find someone who does want you. Trust me, it's easier for girls to find a relationship, it's harder for them to find a lasting one. Test the waters with others in the boyfriend department. Don't waste your time on people who don't care about you.

[tyrantfuryre]

First of all, don't say "won't get RID of me"..you're not a piece of trash to be thrown out. Guys do it to either boost confidence, it could be a comfort thing or maybe as already stated maybe in his mind he's just settling for you until he can find someone he wants more or thinks is better. But, notice I say that as his point of view...meaning, no one person is better than another and you're not just some piece of meat. Don't worry about it. If it bothers you that much, get "rid" of him first them.

[Anonymous]

I have been through this and it just made me unhappy, I spent my life wondering whether he liked me or not etc etc, it was awful. In the end I split up with him. If he can't decide get rid becuase you deserve better. It only makes you unhappy in the end.

[Kayne]

Hes probably trying to figure out the "Whys" and the answers to the questions you will have for him. Breaking up is never as easy as people's poker faces try to make it look.

[interst8eight]

It's hard to break up with someone, especially if you care about them very much but you just aren't in love any more.

[Dzokson00]

I put a opinion on a completely different question and when i click my notifications it brings me here wtf

[xlaurizzlex]

they're stuck on you but don't want you not sure?