How long does it take for a guy to find himself?

[Anonymous]

I know everyone's different but my guy says he needs to find himself and doesn't talk to me anymore because he's chasing loneliness

Updates

+1 y

Ok so I haven't talked to him in months but recently asked him to hangout and we have...he told me he hadn't been with any other girl physically except he kissed one and his friends tried to set him up on dates but he knew right off that none of the girls were like him in a sense the way I was but he still doesn't know what he wants like he doesn't think there's someone out there for him and he doesn't know if its something he heard our saw but its like he's stick and his parents say its becausr

Updates

+1 y

He is only depending on himself. And I told him I still feel the same about him but I've accepted the fact that I'm not his one...he said he doesn't even know that it really is like he's stick in this broken stage. So how can I show him I am the one and get him our of this psyching himself out thing?

[1supernova]

That can be such bs that some people use just to ignore folks. Is he talking to anyone else including friends? if he is he may be full of crap. If he loves you he would include you in his journey to find himself. if you must give him a week or so, and see if he warms up to ya. or tell him good idea I think I need to find myself too, and see what he says. He sounds pretty lame to me. If he don't know who he is are whatevr you don't need him, there are plenty of other guys that won't abandon your love out there, maybe you can go find them when you tell him your gonna go find yourself too.

[baliguy11]

Guys know where they are. That "find myself" thing is a bunch of crap. Do not by it. He may be scared, immature, stupid, whatever, but not lost. He knows where he is. Right there. Maybe girls have that problem, do not know, not one of them. Guys saying that is BS. call him on it if you care to.

[Stacyzee]

There really is no significant time. He is at the stage where he wants to learn who he is. I don't see why he cannot have you help him along the way. I don't know...but maybe this is his way of backing out of the relationship by creating an excuse.

[CasaNorba]

this is so tuff to answer

[Asker]

Mhmmm?

[Anonymous]

3.2 weeks

[Asker]

Well I've been apart from him about a month but not without attempting to contact him BC I can't resist...so you think if I totally ignore him or no contact hell be ready...and you seem like you know from experience so what exactly does it mean and why that long

[Opinion Owner]

Well, it's like the story of the Prodigal Son, who leaves to find out what kind of man he is, encounters much hardship, realizes his family is the most important thing, then returns.

This is the Hero's journey. It can take time. Jesus going into the desert, Ernest Shackleton saving his crew in Antarctica - they're all about self discovery and change.

[Asker]

OK well I guess ill give him time he did tell his friends if he was gonna go after any girl it'd be me but then he ignores my text and says he likes being alone...its killing me to wait BC I feel he's not thinking about me or doesn't like me or doesn't want anything to do with me

[Opinion Owner]

Well, you have a choice. You can wait, hoping he comes around and still wants you, or you can move on and find a guy who makes you feel secure in a relationship