Why is university so stressful all the time?

Question

In first year. I'm constantly crying and I can't cope with the work. I'm currently ill because of it. Its the only thing I have in my life and it is not going well. I feel like giving up. Its so demanding and it frustrates me how I am not on top of things. My life sucks and I am suicidal. I just don't know why I am alive. It does not make sense. I've never had a boyfriend, I'm always lonely. I don't get out much so why am I on the earth. I don't offer anything to anyones life. I feel like I should be gone for good. Wish I had the guts. So many times I've thought of tieing my scarf around my neck and tieing it to the lampshade. I feel lifeless and so worthless. I'm always depressed. I hate feeling so empty and alone. I feel like no one is there for me.

Levin · Accepted Answer

Rather than talking about ending it and the like, why not try and come up with some positive suggestions for making a change in your life? There's no panacea, I'm 26 and still haven't got my life in order, but I've made huge progress. If anxiety, stress or depression seems excessive in your life, that's not normal, you need to work out some coping strategies, see your doctor for a start. There's all sorts of helpful treatments available these days, depending on what's appropriate for your condition. Don't let him palm you off with pills though, as that only masks the symptoms in my non medical background view. If you feel you're not social enough, see how you can get yourself out there more. Join some clubs perhaps, I'm sure there are plenty of inexpensive ones or free ones. Being able to progress at some activity has the added benefit of increasing your confidence, too. That initial first step is difficult, but once that's over with, things get easier and easier. It's about experimenting and finding things in life that suit your personality and help you. Meditation helps me a great deal for example. With regard to the uni-work based stress, well, is it the work itself, or your negative thoughts and anxieties? If you don't complete university starting at 18 like many people, it's not the end of the world. I started my studies at 22 and there were plenty of others in my boat, and I'm not too much of a freak as far as I'm aware. If you genuinely can't cope, it may be worthwhile taking a year out, working, and trying to sort your head out instead. It sounds like you need advice more than anything. Is there someone you can talk to at university?

Nickelz · Accepted Answer

It's okay. College is like this, I'm in my second quarter currently and my first quarter made me completely depressed. I'm studying engineering and a special advising center set me up with a bad schedule. Too many hard classes at once. Top it off with it being my transition quarter into college, my great-grandmother dying, and putting so much work into school and not seeing results, I was depressed like hell. I went through so much in my first quarter that I never experienced in my life. It made me question my worth in life as well. I went home and told my parents what happened and they felt completely sorry for me. They felt so bad, because they couldn't do anything for me really. The only thing that brought me back to a better state of mind was going to church over winter break and getting prayed for. I'm sorry you're feeling stressed, but you're not alone in this. All of in college are stressed out, we feel your pain. Just keep it going, take advantage of all resources open to you, or take easier classes, no shame in doing 5-6 years in college. You might want to go to church too (if your religious). Hope everything turns out in your favor.

somnambulated · Accepted Answer

You should call the suicide hotline and also make an appointment with your university's counseling services immediately, as many universities offer a certain amount of these counseling appointments free every year. They can help you deal with your stress. Try not to think of your stress, problems, workload, and things that aren't going your way as a threat, but as a challenge that you can overcome, and change!

Also, as for the course load, consider dropping some classes if it's possible. If the work is too stressful and not stimulating you, consider changing majors or doing some class exploration.

It's also a problem that you don't get out much. Get involved! Join some clubs, try and find some leadership positions, volunteer! It's a great way to get out AND meet people. Just an example of something I've done in the past - I volunteered at a small animal intensive care unit, and helped care for and comfort animals who were very ill. The impact you can make on your life and in my case, the animals' lives, is INCREDIBLE. Find your passion and your world will open up.

desidoll · Accepted Answer

University or college is stressful because you have to achieve the target that is required.If you unable to cope with it,you will be left behind.This is just your first year so I guess maybe you haven't getting use with the environment.Try to adapt yourself and make more friends so that you won't feel lonely as how you feel now.You feel it is stressful because you don't enjoy studying,or maybe you have some personal problems that affect your concentration.Figure it out.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

its common college gets me down too, especially when you're a science major, what I've learned is to make your schedule in a way that you take only one hard class and the rest easy classes one semester at a time, you don't have to rush so many classes at once, take your time, and you will get higher grades too that way

hope you feel better

Dantemustdie · Answer

everyone feels that when they first go to college, I know when I first went I used to come home totally exhausted and sad because I was finding it hard to cope, my ma would always worry that college was beating me up but it's nothing that you can't handle. You'll get used to the long days, endless study and deadlines for assignments which need doing, college is also probably the most fun place I've ever been, you need to just get out there and enjoy your life instead of wallowing in self pity, you're the only one that can make it better, nobody can wave a magic wand and then it's done, keep some hope sister :)

NihilisticSoul · Answer

Wow don't even think of giving up. You're in college? Go you! That's an amazing accomplishment!

What you are feeling is an overwhelming amount of stress. We all face this and having you post here discuss this with us is huge amount of courage. But don't give into this darkness. Instead, I think its time you take a semester off/take an easy course. Like a fitness class. Easy A and you'll start feeling like your old self again in no time. Next talk with a psychologist, friends, or a trusted adult about what's going on. You've done good things you'll do greater things!

LossofWords · Answer

I can tell you why university is stressful, but that is not what you are really asking. You are deeply depressed, this has nothing to do with education anymore.

People can say nice things to you, but that will only boost your self-esteem temporarily. You can ask for all the help in the world, but that means nothing if YOU don't take it seriously.

If you are going to kill yourself anyway, might as well enjoy your last moments on earth. Quit school. Go backpacking around Europe. Become a humanitarian aid worker and lend a hand in Africa. That cute guy you like? Hell, flirt with him. What do you have to lose? What's worse than death itself? Do that thing that you have always wanted to do.

The world is much bigger than this crappy little community you live in. GET OUT OF IT. This isn't grade school anymore. You are a grown woman go explore.

gonyr · Answer

I take it you just need to vent a little?

College can be tough, but it doesn't have to be as stressful as people make it out to be. in your first semester, college can be extra tough though.

the thing that college really teaches you, is not the coursework, but the life lessons. it can be hard and stressful at first, especially as you get used to being on your own for the first time in your life.

it can be hard, especially when you struggle at school. I did bad at first but I just stayed with it. if the stuff you have discussed is really how you feel, you should talk to a counselor. a lot of times its just very stressful and people feel like they can't handle it.

aidsleen · Answer

Well I am taking time off.

i came to terms with the fact that I am not mature enough to do unregulated study and manage my own time, so I am getting a job for a couple of years before I return to study.

Take a gap year or 2, see how you feel after.

i say this because I was the person that arashmenalagha mentioned.

Myth024 · Answer

Depression is a very real and difficult thing to deal with. I have those thoughts too sometimes and have been dealing with depression for a long time. Eventually I saw a professional and there are many drugs out there that can help with depression. I would advise you seek some help and see if there is something that can help you cope. There is no reason this has to effect your entire life. There is help and your not alone.

arashmenalagha · Answer

... and you consider yourself a strong human being? Suck it up and do they work, I bet you're one of those people that procrastinate until the last minute and then begs their professor for help.

It's really not hard to be a good student. But maybe education is not cut out for you, go to the military they will teach you how to do a job good.

tohrment · Answer

I think university is so stressful for you and whatnot because you are depressed. Not the other way around. Maybe try address that and work on it, and then the other aspects of your life will get better.

TheRealAttila · Answer

Take less classes and do stuff you enjoy.

Why is university so stressful all the time?

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