I just crapped my pants at a movie theatre, what are my options of a fast cleanup?

[Anonymous]

Here is the situtuation. I'm on this date with a girl named Ashley, and I crapped my pants seeing the new Batman movie. What should I do to not let my girlfriend find out what happened?

Updates

+1 y

Relax guys, it was just a fart!


I can't believed all of you feel for that!

LOL!

[wertsdfg]

Rub some Noxema under her nose and ask her not to wipe it off. If you do not have any, create a quick diversion (be cool like Batman would) and then grab something smelly from her purse and smear it under her upper lip. Blame it on the guy behind you, and when she turns to look at him, put the stuff back in her purse where you found it. Then, beat the sh*t out of the guy behind you to defend her honor and tell her that you think he made a mess in his pants when he saw the pain train coming. Then, go to the bathroom to wash the blood off of your knuckles and dispose of your boxers.

[wertsdfg]

above her upper lip*

[djvtech]

LMFAO

[goldgunsgirls]

Wow. I'd heard the Batman movie was brick-sh*tting good but I didn't realize they were serious. Can't wait to see it tomorrow but I'd better bring a diaper... :S

[Asker]

TOTALLY B.A. MATERIAL!

[goldgunsgirls]

Why thank you.

[Prettygurl12]

Excuse yourself to the bathroom, though, since you've posted this, I'm assuming you're already there. Go into a stall...they have those in the men's room, right? Anyway, do clean up duty. Take your pants off and your underwear and clean it up as best you can. Use water if it'll help. Then, I'm afraid, you're going to have to put your clothes back on and grin and bear it for the rest of the night. Looks like no sexy time afterward for you tonight. Also, I doubt there's anything you can do about the smell. Just hope she doesn't notice it?

[Asker]

Oh no, gotta have sex. I will take a bath in the sink and kick some guys ass for new clothes. Yes, I'm in the stalls, and I can't breathe over the stinch

[Prettygurl12]

No. Don't have sex tonight. Save it for date two.

[goldgunsgirls]

You're kinda making the assumption that Ashley isn't into coprophilia though, Prettygurl12.

[Prettygurl12]

I am assuming this, yes. If she is into that, then you should be good. :p

[musiclover100]

Lol, this seems like a troll comment but I shall humor you. If you are wearing underwear then hopefully most of the sh*t is still in them and not all over your pants. Just go to the restroom and throw your underwear away, clean up any sh*t that escaped your underwear, and go back to your date. Simple as that. If you are not wearing underwear or the sh*t was in diarrhea form then I have no suggestions.

[taster]

HAHAHAHA! <3<3<3=D...XoXo

[boredgirl7883]

Well firstly, I wouldn't be on GAG writing about this. I would be taking care of the sh*tty situation at hand! Also is Ashley your girlfriend? Because can you really call it a date when they are already your girlfriend? Get off GAG, get some wipes and clean off as much as you can and if she's turned off, then screw her. Tell her sh*t happens (pun intended in your case)...LOL.

[Asker]

You dirty girl. LMAO.

[Shameneyes]

just leave. Contact her in the morning and tell her sorry and that you need to explain what happened in person. When you guys finally meet say, "I must reveal this secret I have kept from the world... you are the only one that I believe can keep this secret save- For I am the vengeance; I am the night; I am batman!"

[taster]

batman?...O.O

[djvtech]

HAHAHA

[seasidehermit]

DUDE! That sucks! Quickly and carefully maneuver to the bathroom cause that is gonna smell so stanky soon. Once in the bathroom remove trousers throw out your underwear and wipe up any mess that's left. Maybe try to rinse your pants and dry them under the blower. Then rock commando the rest of the evening like a boss.

so unlucky

[taster]

Usually..not real far from the theatre...is a Fire Station...a pressure hose might just clean everything up...including hemorrhoids?

[Asker]

Is it tax deductible?

[taster]

if it is paid for by government labor...o.O

[Anonymous]

Well, I guess Ashley... puts on sun glasses ... will have to put up with your sh*t. YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Asker]

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[iwantthisone]

so f***ing funny. I am in the mood to not assist you with this and to just sit back and laugh. you're a big boy haha. how did you not feel a sh*t coming along?!

[upsyndrome]

Have you seen two girls and one cup?

[Asker]

no

[taster]

Angie! Need to elevate your sights? but yes I did...<3<3<3=D

[ilovebender]

LOL I haven't seen it and dont' want to but know of it. That is why you deserve BA.

[upsyndrome]

give me best answer.

[Asker]

Never

[upsyndrome]

aww you're not here anymore D:

[bunnahies]

throw sh*t everywhere. its now a VIP ROOM!

[Burnette01]

trololololololol

[Burnette01]

Lol, I didn't fall for it!

[Anonymous]

james, is it you?