Why would she block me on Facebook again ?

[Anonymous]

We dated for 2 years and she left me for someone else. It ended badly where she originally blocked my number and my Facebook (we are not even Facebook friends and she still blocked me). A few weeks later she unblocked my Facebook and decided to call me. Then out of the blue 2 weeks later, she sent me a Facebook message wishing me luck on a test. Then a few weeks later she sends me a text saying how proud she is of me graduating college and how its weird to her that she doesn't know when she will see me next. She also said she misses everyone (my group of friends who exiled her. she tried to friend request one of them after this text message). I text her the next day saying if she has something she wants to say, she needs to say it because I'm done doing these one sided conversations. Then I tell her she can't have it both ways where she's only allowed to talk when she pleases then she tells me she doesn't want to talk to me because she has a boyfriend and he is getting "rightfully pissed."

So I guess it's only fair if she can contact me. Now she blocked my Facebook again when we still are not Facebook friends, so I don't know what that means... This happened a few days before graduation so I don't know if that helps. She still has another year and a half left of college and I'm moving a little over an hour away and 30 minutes from her school (she commutes)

*** She is 21 and left me for someone who is 30 and works at a small restaurant that is going out of business. The guy is her neighbor...I'm 22 and an engineer who just got a job and passed my licensing exam. I'm so confused... She has contacted me by phone 2-3 times, Facebook one time and text one time in about 2 months. She keeps telling me we can't talk yet she keeps contacting me.

[DanteSparda]

You have a girl that is emotionally destroying you..

just say I don't really care and move on.. trust me on this… its not worth trying to be with them here because even though you might “win” you will definitely get messed up harder by the “loss”

also.. it is important to have a carefree abundance attitude..some girls are really retarded and its a really bad idea to put your eggs into one basket (one girl) because when she flakes/cheats/lies/whatever you will be crushed/pissed/etc.

the smart way is to have multiple options to avoid pain

a man is only as faithful as his options…

seriously.. though

if you are in a relationship and have absolutely no prospects (girls texting you..flirting … wanting to hook up.. etc).. its just a matter of time.. if you have no other options you’re gonna get messed up one day…

thats the problem with relationships

people become content.. get fat.. get lazy… just let themselves slide.. ignorance is bliss..until they realize there is no escape from the sexual market

… fast forward a bit

when the forces of nature (2 year expiration window) end your relationship – its over..

just like that.. everything you’ve poured your heart and soul into gets destroyed..

you lose a part of yourself in every failed relationship– remember that

thats why the best situation is to have multiple options and to BAIL (and never look back) at the first sign of trouble.

however,

you alone define what is too much trouble..

maybe it is

1. girl hanging out with other guys

2. girl cheating on you

3. girl not having sex often enough

4. girl lying to you

5. whatever

there is a line we all have to draw (and the further you go the less self respect is left and the more needy,desperate you are.. basically its up to you how much disrespect from her you’re willing to tolerate)

just remember.. there comes a point when there are more important things than notches/lays/”value”. .. I know but there are some lines not worth crossing … namely:

1. girls that have dated or are dating your close friends (unless you don’t mind the friendship ending)

2. exes (self-explanatory)

3. girls with husbands/family (yeah I know its tough.. but I don’t tread this dangerous territory – boyfriends are bad enough)

4. girls with mental issues (bipolar, ADHD, extreme druggies, etc )

learning how to deal with them is just like everything else in life.. its meant to be fun.. its meant to help you understand and succeed.. but once the stakes get too high you really should say FO and bail.

this way you never put yourself at risk; because you don’t gamble with what you can’t afford to lose.. and you can’t afford to lose yourself.

trust me on that,

good luck Bro :)

[martyfellow]

She doesn't sound stable, for one thing. Is taht why you broke up in the first place? And she's the usual 'we play by my rules only' female...

I think you're better off without her...she can't seem to stop wanting it both ways! Clearly you're not allowed to criticize her in the relationship, but she can do whatever she wants.

I feel sorry for the new boyfriend! Would you want to be him?

[Anonymous]

Her loss! She's all wrapped up in past emotions and nostalgia. She wants to be friends and wants to reconcile so she doesn't feel guilty.

If you have another instance of her reaching out, you can try this to be nice and ease her conscience so she stops being confusing:

"Hey Name - I think you were a great girl, and enjoyed our experiences together, but life must go on. I'd just assume let go of the past. Thanks for reaching out, but I think we've gotten to the point where we've both forgiven each other and moved on with things. Hope things go well in your life. ~Your name."

Then, block her to solidify your decision.

Either way, you're not obligated to do anything. She left you.

P.S. Engineers are the coolest! (I'm a mechE). Use the logical side of your brain with all this stuff and don't let it bother you. Hope it all works out.

[Asker]

Thanks for the reply! My only issue with this is, I don't want to let her off the hook. She should feel guilty for what she did. Plus if we're on OK terms, my group of friends might accept her back. Also the only reason why she has been contacting me is to ease her conscience?

[Opinion Owner]

Ahaa the ol' revenge ploy haha. Well, there are 2 ways to get back at her then. First, keep doing what you're doing - block her out every time she reaches out. There is nothing more heart-wrenching for a girl than being politely ignored. Second, "forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much". This will work only if she knows deep down that she did wrong, and genuinely tortures herself for hurting you. She'll think you're a saint and feel even more guilty. May or may not work...

[Anonymous]

She seems to be one of those "grass is greener" kind of people. The ones who are never satisfied with what they have, who are always after what they don't have.
She's clearly immature and I'd ignore her contact attempts from now on. Block her back, so she can't contact you anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for BA :-)

[blackkid2]

She's young and dumb. Literally young and dumb. Her problems (though I can guess what's actually going on) are not your problems so don't take on the load.

[Anonymous]

don't even talk to her again bro. she'll regret throwing you away soon enough.

don't fall for the mind games.

[Anonymous]

It seems that she has insecurity issues, and she's just crazy. You should stop being in contact with her and just find a new girl.