Female co worker tries to embarrass me around other woman?

[tenchu11]

So a female co worker of mine, tries to embarrass me in front of other woman. She used to like me but we had a falling out (was my fault I got too drunk and said things to her I shouldn't of said at a party). Anyways if I mentioned to her that I found another co worker very beautiful or attractive she would go and tell them. First time about a month or so ago, we joked around that I would ask this cute barista I have a crush on out. When the barista came to the deli counter (where we work) she just said.

Coworker: tenchu11 (me), was thinking about asking you out or something.

me: (quickly saved the moment) yeah but my co worker would be afraid you'd say yes.

my coworker just snickered and walked away.

I smiled nervously and apologized to the cute red head for my co-workers awkward comment.

recently I told her that a new girl in another department was very pretty. So she comes up to me today, "oh, I introduced myself to the new girl today. I told her I felt bad I hadn't said anything to her but told her that I've heard a lot about her from you and how pretty she was. I mean I just told her a co worker of mine said it but after she pressed the issue I told her it was you".

Later that day I confronted her.

Me: well thank you for making it awkward but I saw the new girl in the break room and after a few minutes of silence I decided to talk to her, she's very nice.

Her: wow...you talked to her, you feel special or something? (in a cynical tone, and walks away).

Is she being jealous or something? A few months back we had a girl at our department for one day I was training her. So we were chatting the new girl and I about work stuff and my co-worker walks by and slaps my hat off my head and says "pick it up bitch" in a teasing tone. I'm not sure if she is being jealous she shows no signs of liking me. She just wants to flirt. Is her picking on me in front of beautiful woman or talking to them about me some sort of cynical game to her...Or is she just insecure and some how trying to debase me to these other woman, sort of make her feel adequate.

Updates

+1 y

I've worked with her for a year and a half and spent a lot of time at work together. But she is just getting mean. It almost feels like a marriage at first we flirted had fun...almost got close to dating her...I dropped the ball as aforementioned. Now we just argue all the time at work, even argue about not arguing people say its like we are married. I mean I care about her, but I could careless who she talks too or dates.

Updates

+1 y

Even if she doesn't care or like me, is she territorial of me?

Updates

+1 y

I have apologized for what I did or say to her. She had embarrassed me in front of other woman or talked to them about me before this incident. So it's nothing new, I just notice it's repeat behavior.

[DiamondDragons]

shes trying to make these women reject you outright in forced situations, the new co worker for example would have to say she either was or wasn't interested when she first met you in the coffee room because of what the female co worker said as would the girl at the counter.

shes jealous that you guys almost got together then it got screwed up and now you're interested in other girls instead of trying to make it up to her and win her back. don't say anything when you like a new girl and she can't sabotage it without making things up, when she does something to embarass you call her out on it so she knows she can't bully you

i would apologise to her within earshot of other co workers so they know youve really done it and say firmly that you can't deal with her being spiteful everytime you're dealing with customers or trainees and that if she doesn't stop it you don't want anything more to do with her until she acts her age.

[udolipixie]

"Female co worker tries to embarrass me around other woman."

Understandable to me considering you it seems you publicly embarrassed her at a party by saying things you shouldn't of and if this party was a work event or such then it's even more understandable as what you said is now in the minds of coworkers she will be seeing almost everyday especially as I see you make no mention of you apologizing for what you did and said.

Is she being jealous or something? Even if she doesn't care or like me, is she territorial of me?

I doubt it as it seems more likely she's being vengeful.

"But she is just getting mean."

Egh again understandable considering the whole saying things you shouldn't of at a party. I find most people don't react well to what seems to be public embarrassment.

[jane79]

Could be jealously but you can't continue like that, I would suggest you either have it out with her or don't share anything personal with her and just keep it professional the only other option you have is to speak to someone higher up about these issues.

[ironeddie]

I think she is being vindictive. You said some things you shouldn't have. So be it. What's done is done and you can't take it back.

This is her way of getting revenge. By doing things that make you uncomfortable around other co-workers. and co-workers uncomfortable around you. She is showing her dominance over you. Making you look and feel small around others.

I suggest you say nothing personal to her. Treat her as a co-worker

Say good morning, good night and only work related topics. Nothing more and nothing less.

If her actions continue, bring upper management into this. Her actions are harassment. Have management warn her. If any thing else happens file an official complaint.

[1stPlace]

Tell her you made a mistake and you apologize. Be sincere. However, you won't stand for her behavior anymore.

If she doesn't accept your apology, understand that she is still upset.

You shouldn't force her to speak to you. If she starts to come around, be a genuine friend. Until then, leave her and set boundaries.

[1stPlace]

@UPDATE

Since you have already apologized, inform your boss of the situation. What you have previously done. How she is acting toward you. You plan not to further interact with her. And ask if he/she will monitor any further misconduct on this girl's behalf.

People say and do stupid things. If she is going to hold that against you forever, let that be HER PROBLEM. You don't have to tolerate her childishnesh forever, though.