If a guy asks a girl out for casual lunch during the work week, is he interested?

[Anonymous]

Is he just testing the waters to get to know her?

Why doesn't he just ask her straight out for a real date? is it because he's not sure if she'd say yes or he's just not sure if he'd like her? (i.e. playing it safe?)

Or he's just being nice, perhaps just wanting to make a friend but nothing more?

(and the lunch during the workweek could be like at a food court or something where we pay for our own meals - nothing particularly special).

But why would a guy even bother arranging if he's not interested?

Thoughts please...

[bugtug]

If I ask a girl out to lunch during the workweek, I am probably at least mildly interested and I want to get to know more. I think it is pretty much the same as saying, "let's go get coffee sometime." If things go well in this more casual setting, then you will probably get a "real date." If you two don't seem to click very well, then you can still remain friends without it ever having been made weird having being on an official date.

[Asker]

Hi Bugtug. Thnx for your views.

If you say he's "mildly interested", are you then saying if he was really racing hot interested he would've asked for a date straight up instead of a casual work lunch?

Thus, is he worth my time then if he's only 'mildly' interest???

[bugtug]

That's a pretty good summary.

I wouldn't be more than mildly interested in someone I don't yet know well so I would want to get to know them better in a relaxed setting before asking them out on a real date.

As for worth your time, I can't see why he wouldn't be. It sounds to me like he thinks there could be something between the two of you and wants to get to know you better. Even if you guys just become friends out of it, getting to know new people has always proven to be worth my time.

[Asker]

Well, I went and lunch was pretty good fun. Lots of laughs. As it seems, he's going on holidays o/s for a month. After we parted for lunch, he didn't say the "let's do this again sometime" etc... Though I did send him an email saying thank you.

What does that mean? He doesn't think I was worth seeing again? or wait till he gets back given a month o/s is quite a long time? or he's playing it cool not to look too eager?

[bugtug]

It might not mean anything. He just might not be the kind of guy who says "let's do it again sometime."

Without knowing the two of you it is almost impossible to guess what could be in his mind. I think you should just go with your gut instinct. If you felt like you guys had a good time and that there might be something between you, he is probably feeling the same.

Waiting until after his vacation might be a good idea though.

[Anonymous]

I was wondering the same thing. I'm in college and a guy asked me if I wanted to get lunch with him sometime. He said that he was "just throwing it out there". Is he interested in me or does he just want someone to eat lunch with?