If it takes and ostrich 25:00 to fly from Venus to Mars, how many Bengal tigers could ride an elephant side-saddle?

[FunkyMonkee]

[Anonymous]

Hm, that's some new type of math for me. I'm afraid i can't find the link between ostriches flying and Bengal tigers riding on elephant side saddles.

But if i have to guess? Factor in the tigers riding skills and convincing the elephants to get on top of them.

[SnowedIn]

Only one. The tigers will fight until only one has the perch. That one will fall off anyway because it'll start wanting to bat at the elephant's tail.

[FunkyMonkee]

AH! But, you're not taking into account the amount of coconut butter suntan lotion the elephant put on its back!!

[SnowedIn]

I did not, in fact, take into account that the elephant was auditioning for the job as the Hawaiian Tropic model, true. In that case, the answer is none because, if you'll forgive me, that would be one slippery pussy and it couldn't stay up.

[nolabels]

What is missing from the equation is the time required to assemble and outfit a wagon train due to head west from St. Joseph, MO to the Willamette Valley in Oregon with an approximate arrival date of September 23, 1876.

[FunkyMonkee]

Must be the new math!

[nolabels]

Yep, I guess so.
My mother was perplexed by the 'new' math taught to me in the 1960s.
Likewise, I'm just as perplexed by the 'new' 'new' math!

The way I figure it is to just throw something out there.
It may fit in some alternate universe somewhere at some time.

Or it's just fun to do, regardless of the results obtained!

[FunkyMonkee]

Math is FUNdamental! Maybe, in your case, it's fundaMENTAL?

[nolabels]

I'll choose to accept that comment in the manner in which I believe it was to be intended.

I've got nothing to come back at you with at the moment.

Good on ya, mate, as I believe the Aussies are fond of saying!

I'm waiting in the bushes, though, so to speak.

See ya around!

[FunkyMonkee]

HA!! VICTORY IS MINE!!
Whose bush are you going to be waiting in?

[nolabels]

Heavy is the head who wears the crown.
Great power comes with great responsibility.
And so on and so on with the platitudes.

Oh, what the hell, enjoy it while it lasts!

Speaking of bushes, I sort of like the wintertime look, so to speak, although that 'leaves' the concept of stealth best left to more modern technologies.

I can recall, though, in days long past, snuggling in amongst the wonderful softness of certain natural, never shorn, ever-lush bushes, freshened by recent rains, then gently wafted into a delicate puffball by gentle warm breezes. As I recall, soon after my taking my refuge in seemingly safe harbors, the tide would begin to rise, flooding me in not-undesirable seas of ardor. That would happen again and again, without fail. What mysteries the world contains!

Ahem, umm, please excuse my abrupt departure. There's 'something' which I must attend to.

[FunkyMonkee]

In the winter the leaves leave and leave now leaf behind.
Yes, I've traveled up such road m'self!!! Heavy was the dew!! Especially after I made do with MY due!! A sloppy mess t`was!! But still a good time was had by all during the clean-up!
Yes, I remember the ardor, too! The `ardor it was, the better she liked it! As did I! She always loved the way my little sailor went sailing in her ocean! She really loved my seaman! She could hardly wait for it to come sailing into her part, er, ah, PORT again... and again... and again! Yes, she knew of MY mysteries (in the biblical sense)!! A mystery she never got tired of reading and just could NOT put it down! She would leaf through its pages and savor each one!! (I don't know what she was saving them for.) She would eventually come to the end and when finished, she would have me put it in a safe place for her so she could use it again next time she felt the need to delve into those particular mysteries..

No problem! As long as you've got it in hand!

[TroyDT2]

Is that a quote of something said by the current POTUS?

[FunkyMonkee]

It certainly fits, doesn't it?
No, I was just noticing a lot of bizarre questions being posted so, I decided to ask a few of my own.

[Truth0225]

An ostrich can’t fly

[Truth0225]

Therefore the answer is zero

[FunkyMonkee]

You tell HIM that!! He insists he can!!

[Truth0225]

Who?

[FunkyMonkee]

The ostrich!

[Truth0225]

That’s why he puts his head in the dirt when faced with a threat bc he believes if he cannot see the threat they cannot see him either. Ostriches are not very smart animals.

[KostasKouvalis]

Four

[FunkyMonkee]

Interesting!! Okay, how many fingers am I holding up, right now?

[KostasKouvalis]

1 🖕

[FunkyMonkee]

No, 13.

[KostasKouvalis]

Oh, I see. 12 hand fingers plus your dick

[Charliefretz329]

Rey Atc