Why has Australia made it impossible for Americans to visit?

[KostasKouvalis]

Australia now requires U. S. citizens to apply for an ETA, and the only way to do this is through a defective app, as you can see here from the app reviews.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=au.gov.homeaffairs.eta

They've basically made it impossible for U. S. citizens to visit the country. Why? What have we done?

[wiltingrosepetal]

Huh, wow. Didn't know that and it's just made my day. But look, our countries are close allies so it's nothing personal. The restrictions would've been fallout from the pandemic. Plus, we've always had very tight border control

[KostasKouvalis]

Are you Aussie?

[wiltingrosepetal]

Proudly, mate 🇦🇺

[Siri137]

So why does your profile say United States? And, by the way, most "Aussies" never use the word "mate", so I know you're just acting, pretending to be one.

[wiltingrosepetal]

It is 35 degrees Celsius, 7:43pm in Western Australian Standard time. The sun is setting currently. I can describe to you in depth what pavlova tastes like- fruity and sweet- what snags are like on a weekend morning outside of Bunnings, and each slide I went down on Wet and Wild World, Queensland, as a child.

And yes, we say mate.

[wiltingrosepetal]

I've never seen a person's country on their profile, might be something to do with your app. If I could change it I would. Never want to be associated with the US. I'm a poppy wearing, maccas eating, kangaroo admiring, Kath and Kim watching, Australian. So, let's not accuse each other of faking their identity

[Siri137]

I'm not using any "apps", I'm just using my laptop. You can change your nationality on your profile page. It's easy. You're Xper level 5, you should know about this already.
And no, only bogans use the word "mate" (or old men over 50).

[Siri137]

And Australians, just like New Zealanders or anyone else within the civilised world really, do not say "It's 35 degrees Celsius". We just say, "It's 35 degrees", because we all instinctively know it's in Celsius.
Ha! Gotcha! :D

[wiltingrosepetal]

What's your end game, mate? You want me to release my ID? Fuck off

[Siri137]

So rude! No, I don't have an "end game" (whatever that is), but it might be a good idea to close this account of yours, because you're obviously not who you're pretending to be.
Your account is pink (female), but women in Australia don't speak the way you do, using words like "mate". They just don't. As I said, men over 50 might, but that's it.
You're obviously a fraud, a scammer or catfish.

[wiltingrosepetal]

I think it's pretty clear I'm heavily patriotic. And judging off of your previous comment, you don't like Australia at all. So, you're trying to push the buttons of someone who loves their country by having the gall to say they're lying about where they come from.
But if you wanted me to, I could prove my identity.

I could pull out The Secret River right now and read you a page. It's a book I studied in English class earlier this year about a white, English settler named William Thornhill travelling into Australia with his wife Sal and three sons. As he's there he meets the Aboriginal people, ending with a bloody battle. Here's the blurb's beginning, "in 1806 London thief William Thornhill is transported to Australia".

If that wasn't enough, I could repeat the saying I sat through in every primary school assembly, bleeding into year 7 to 12. I could repeat to you the tales of the ANZACs, the poppies that grew over their graves, and the trumpet that was played by a veteran before a moment of silence. And at the going down of the sun, we will remember them.

[wiltingrosepetal]

I could tell you about Woolies two dollar mudcakes, Captain Cook's first fleet with the stolen generation that followed, the legacy that Steve Irwin had, the hostory associated with the ashes and how great it feels to piss off England in cricket, the plotline of The Castle or Muriel's Wedding, how it feels to hit a roo while driving, Milo, Vegemite, Smiths chippies, wearing thongs, and probably most footy teams, even though I don't care much for it. Off the top of my head: Carlton, Lions, Magpies, Kangaroos, Dockers, Eagles, Suns, Swans, Cats, Giants, Hawks and Tigers.

I could do a number of things to prove to you where I reside, but I understand that you don't care. If a false reading of my location is enough to tell you I'm typing this from that shithole of a country, that's enough convincing you will ever need. And that's your problem. Don't punish me for being proud of my identity and using the slang. I use it as much as I can, as much as I want, because I love my culture. I'm a sunburnt Sheila, mate. G'day to ya.

[Siri137]

Australians aren't - are NOT - "patriotic". We don't say things like, "God bless Australia", and display the stupid flag next to our comments.
You don't sound, 1. Australian, and 2. like a woman. Australian women NEVER use words like "mate", because they're seen as being "blokey".
And now you're mentioning Steve Irwin. Very few Australians ever mention Steve Irwin, because we've already forgotten him and moved on. Americans haven't, they mention him all the bloody time!
Without Googling it, name the first prime minister of Australia. Who was the federal treasurer back in the 1980's? When were the Sydney Olympics? What does it mean to barrack? What are thongs?
"Stolen generation"? Oh dear! Go away Yank! Next you'll say that you ride a kangaroo to school, and that drop-bears are dangerous :D
Oh, and we don't drink 'Fosters'! :D

[Anonymous]

They have? Smart people.

Why would you even want to visit Australia? That place is a shithole.

[KostasKouvalis]

My mom wanted to see the Opera House. I personally don't care much for the place

[RebelinSteel]

There are three visa streams for Americans, all fairly simple for people. 2 of them do not require use of the App. 1 of those you do outside Australia, the other is an on arrival application.

[KostasKouvalis]

I read there is an online application you can do, but it's not an ETA, it's a different type of visa that takes a longer time to process

[RebelinSteel]

It’s about 15-20 days or you can use GovAssist which is pretty much instant. It is zero hassle.

[KostasKouvalis]

That's too long, we don't pre-book trips that far in advance. Also, we literally just wanted to hop over for 2 days from NZ

[RebelinSteel]

Gov assist is instant, you pay you go

[DryGermanGuy]

You could go to Austria instead. Sounds practically the same and they don’t have those evil drop bears. 🧐