What news story would you read?

[purplepoppy]

There's not much happening in the world at the moment so I've picked a few stories from our local press that were published in the past few days. If you only had time to read one which would you choose

Patients at hospital disappointed sex didn't last longer

Some people aren't happy about something

Someone finds a dead hippo in a cave thats been explored umpteen times

Festival to spread the joy of seaweed coming to town

Stray cat gets squashed in carpark. People demand a memorial plaque

Granny insists people eat pot noodles at her funeral so she can see them soon

Son has a really cool mum.

[RavVid]

In the complete absence of noteworthy international news, these local news items would grab my attention.

I'd read all off them except for 'cool mum' as that happens all the time and is scarcely news.

The #1 out of them would be the nurse having a sex break at the hospital. Always good to read documented evidence that somebody last shorter than I do even if not by much less.

I also think that it is a workplace issue if sex breaks are banned in the workplace. Toilet breaks are allowed so why not sex breaks? About the same area of the body is involved so it seems unfair.

[Chazmatazz269]

I luv feel good stories like the one about Budbud. In fact, i follow Jen, “The Good News Girl” for stories like that and more.

https://youtu.be/bn5oXSe3pKI?si=Dh-73bDlr7PtRr6W

However, the cave with hippopotamus bones seems like the more interesting story, if i can only read one.

[Apulu_backagain]

Weak. In India I wake up and see the newspaper to read tea on someone involved in sorcery or black magic.

[MrChinaski]

There was a shootout ending in a double homicide in Sydney overnight some months back. News the next morning led with:

"Police have confirmed at least one shooter was involved."

[AviatorTom]

The hippo in the cave story sounds very interesting.

How did a hippo get to Wales? Maybe the flying dragon helped out?

[purplepoppy]

They're actually native to Wales They're a major agricultural pest

[AviatorTom]

@purplepoppy Are the Wales hippos the same as the ones in Africa? I suspect they might be a little smaller.

[purplepoppy]

Nah great big ones www.dailypost.co.uk/.../only-rhyl-police-called-deal-30238104

[1WildBeatlejuice]

I Read they are thinking the camel toe might have been designed for stopping the camel from sinking in snow instead of the sand since they started finding camel remains in Alaska 🧐 funny we become more puzzled with the more we learn about this planet

[purplepoppy]

Don't forget the continents have shuffled around quite a bit

[Master_Debator]

An expose of senility... the reason space aliens wouldn't even want to fuck with us... they've seen what makes us cheer.

This stuff gets pumped out daily and our senior population and other people with no job or things to do lap it up... that's disturbing, because they can vote. I'm trying to clap space alien cheeks and you humans are holding me back.

[Anonymous]

@purplepoppy sometimes I feel like a God purplepoppy because most times, despite my busier lifestyle as I've gotten older and more responsibilities - there's so many news stories, I try to watch and read many - that I often think I can relate to the mind of God - there's fascination in almost all things 👀 🧠 📰🗞️ 🌌

[Opinion Owner]

I couldn't possibly vote 1. I vote all of the above I'd have read, minus paywall 😴 sigh - paywall

[Iron_Man]

I would read patient in the hospital is disappointed because the sex didn’t last very long. That’s interesting he must have met a nice hot nurse

[pierre7i]

None of those, but one like this:

"Purple Poppy opens clinic to provide sexual guidance and practical technique lessons"

That's a news report I would avidly read!

[888theGreat]

The nurse , but it was close with body in the freezer , probably read both. I guess sex sells. Same here , look at responses , more to sex questions and more sex questions on here than anything. I rarely post sex questions here.

[Lliam]

The one about the nurse.
She should not have been sacked for going above and beyond in providing care for patients.

[molonski2]

I reckon 3 would get me
. The nurse ,
The Cat ,
And the dude with mum in the fridge

But voted for the nurse.

[NathanDavis]

Rest In Piece, Budbud... now a legend, forever

[mstbooblover]

All in all, sex can always remain an everlasting funny and amusing business ;0)

[1WildBeatlejuice]

Damn I didn’t need to read about the cat getting squashed how do you do that in a car park and drive like you have any sense 😣

[Texaskid1]

What nurse is having sex at the hospital and where is this hospital? I need to know this that way I can avoid going there.

[purplepoppy]

Unfortunately it's behind a pay wall but if you speed read it it says she was a mental health nurse in a all male secure rehab unit with a high number of patients from prison www.walesonline.co.uk/.../nurse-sacked-after-having-sex-33784208

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'm going after the seaweed festival, seems exotic

[msc545]

The first one about sex in the hospital: that's interesting. That's how it actually happens.

[888theGreat]

Now she is most popular private nurse around

[QuietRunner]

Which one doesn't pertain to Wales? That's my first read and only read...

[Jeff51]

I look at the weather. News is all killings and murder.

[exitseven]

I like the one about the hippo.

[888theGreat]

I was worried something happened to Oprah

[exitseven]

@888theGreat or Joy Behar?

[Xawyx-2]

The one about prehistoric hippo.

[KostasKouvalis]

Oooooooh, send me the Seaweed one

[robocop666]

the nurse thing was cool

[NicholasofAustralia]

Yes robocop. Yes indeed 🤖 fellow gentleman of culture 🎩 🧐

[LC75LC71]

We will get that cat a statue!