Search Results: how to stop cutting myself

I met her through work and it was an instant connection. I fell for her instantly. We've been talking for a little over a year, phone only, but since Christmas we've called and text each other every day. 3 weeks ago she started to distance herself from me and I don't know why. I don't know if it's because she's just moved to London, or if its me. I'm positive she liked me back but we never admitted it to each other, I know she has an image in her mind of the perfect partner which she won't compromise on and I didn't tick all the boxes, the age difference was too much. I've respected the fact we were only friends and never pushed any boundaries, although she made it difficult at times.

Before she arrived, I never felt and didn't expect to feel things. I was alone, and miserable with no hopes of it getting better. She has taught me so much. She's inspired me to be better. I'm working on myself mind, body, and soul because of her. She's given me the drive to want more out of life. She's helped me through my darkest days, and made me feel like such a winner. I know I've helped her a lot too. We came into each others lives at just the right time.

She's stopped taking my calls, and responding to my texts. It started slow, missed call here and there which has not happened for as long as I've been talking to her. Texts became shorter. I haven't heard from her in over a week now, quite suddenly after months of communication several times a day. In in London now partially to see her which we arranged weeks ago but instead I'm just wondering around alone. It's upsetting me soo much. I feel like whatever it was we had, is over. But I don't want to leave anything unsaid, no regrets. I want to tell her exactly how she made feel, and thank her for everything she's done.

I feel like she's shut the door by cutting the communication, but if I send her the text I have written in my notes, 99% that will lock it, 1% she will open up again and confess her feelings to me too.