I hurt myself, how long do you think it’ll take to heal? Give your opinion on what I did?

[Anonymous]

I am a cutter I have been for years. I was raised in an abusive household till the age of 18. There was abuse, drug abuse, alcohol as minors, sexual abuse as well as physical mental and emotional. All done to me by my brothers and father was sexual physical and mental. All done to me by my sisters and mother was physical and emotional. I was a disobedient child but not as much as to deserve what I got. My brothers raped me my father assaulted me not as bad as my brothers. My sisters brothers and both parents abused me physically for not listening or doing what they said. My sisters would tell me to die ask why I came home from the hospital when they don’t want me home their happier without me there. They said my parents aren’t physical with them when I’m gone. My mother said she hates how I turned out and I’m a burden to my entire family. I survived by stealing food lying trying to run away many times and finally learning how to be who they wanted and how to read people so well that I know what to say and do to keep them happy and not hurting me. I’m 19 and have been cutting since I was 14. I stopped for a year and started again in recent months and just carved the words IM BROKEN right above where my heart would be. I’m sharing this cuz I know it’s wrong I’ve tried to get help but now I’m asking what you guys think. Say anything and everything you wanna say I wanna hear it all to try and maybe understand myself better because I don’t know who I am anymore.

[Lliam]

I am so, so sorry about the abuse you endured. NO ONE should have to go through that, especially an innocent child. It's a testament to your strength and character that you survived and are now seeking help.

The best girlfriend I ever had was 30 years old when I met her. I was 36. At some point, she revealed that she had been sexually abused by her step father from a very young age, for at least 10 years, until she reached puberty.

It messed her up. She became an alcoholic. She got married and had son when she was 17. She got divorced and gave up custody of her son to his father a couple years later.

She moved away, got a career, went into therapy, and kicked alcohol. She was still fighting alcohol addiction and in therapy when I met her. But the therapy was helping her a great deal. She also remained close to her son.

When I met her, she was a remarkable women. Out of all my previous girlfriends, she was the only one I fell in love with completely and truly.

So, I guess I'm saying that you can't do this alone. Find a therapist if at all possible and let them help you work through your trauma. What happened to you wasn't your fault, but you need someone who is skilled and on your side to work through it.

[molonski2]

I don't think there is anyone here on this site who can really assist much , you have some major issues and I think you need to be addressing them with a mental health professional , these things don't just go away.

[Asker]

Well if you can’t help me the way I asked, then give me you gods to honest truth from your heart that you wanna share and think I should know

[molonski2]

Again you need professional help , and you need to be talking to charity organisations for placement etc , day by day is the only way you can face this , little bit , piece by peice.