Should I send her a text telling her how I feel and thanking her for what she's done for me?

[Anonymous]

I met her through work and it was an instant connection. I fell for her instantly. We've been talking for a little over a year, phone only, but since Christmas we've called and text each other every day. 3 weeks ago she started to distance herself from me and I don't know why. I don't know if it's because she's just moved to London, or if its me. I'm positive she liked me back but we never admitted it to each other, I know she has an image in her mind of the perfect partner which she won't compromise on and I didn't tick all the boxes, the age difference was too much. I've respected the fact we were only friends and never pushed any boundaries, although she made it difficult at times.

Before she arrived, I never felt and didn't expect to feel things. I was alone, and miserable with no hopes of it getting better. She has taught me so much. She's inspired me to be better. I'm working on myself mind, body, and soul because of her. She's given me the drive to want more out of life. She's helped me through my darkest days, and made me feel like such a winner. I know I've helped her a lot too. We came into each others lives at just the right time.

She's stopped taking my calls, and responding to my texts. It started slow, missed call here and there which has not happened for as long as I've been talking to her. Texts became shorter. I haven't heard from her in over a week now, quite suddenly after months of communication several times a day. In in London now partially to see her which we arranged weeks ago but instead I'm just wondering around alone. It's upsetting me soo much. I feel like whatever it was we had, is over. But I don't want to leave anything unsaid, no regrets. I want to tell her exactly how she made feel, and thank her for everything she's done.

I feel like she's shut the door by cutting the communication, but if I send her the text I have written in my notes, 99% that will lock it, 1% she will open up again and confess her feelings to me too.

Send her the message

Don't send anything

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you want to express your feelings to this person and thank her for the positive impact she's had on your life. However, it's important to consider how she may feel about receiving this message, especially if she has already started to distance herself from you.

Before sending the message, it may be helpful to take some time to reflect on your intentions and motivations. Are you sending the message with the expectation of getting a certain response, or are you sending it as a genuine expression of gratitude and appreciation?

It's also important to consider whether sending the message may further complicate the situation, especially if the other person has already started to distance themselves from you. While it's possible that the message may open up the lines of communication and lead to a positive outcome, it's also possible that it may make the other person feel uncomfortable or pressured.

The decision to send the message is up to you, but it's important to weigh the potential risks and benefits before doing so. If you do choose to send the message, try to do so in a way that is respectful and acknowledges the other person's feelings and boundaries.

[Asker]

Thankyou soo much for the excellent response! You've given me a few things to think about.

If I send a message, I'd expect that to the be the end of any relationship and that I wouldn't get a response. I feel like it might already be the end, so nothing to lose but I would gain the chance to say thankyou and let her know how much I appreciate her before she fades entirely. But you are right, a part of me would wish for her to read it and do the same for me but I know that would never happen.

I'd never want to make her feel uncomfortable. I guess any thankyou would have to be simple and straight to the point, not grand and explanative as I had planned.

I'll take time to mull it over as you ha e suggested. Thankyou again.

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome! It's great that you're taking the time to reflect on your feelings and consider your options. If you do decide to send a message, it's important to keep it respectful and non-threatening, as you mentioned. You can express your gratitude and appreciation for her, but also make it clear that you respect her boundaries and are not expecting anything in return. Ultimately, it's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and to handle the situation in a way that feels right for you. Good luck!

[YourExLover69]

Congratulations... You been in the same situation like I have experienced in the past. Lack of interest, ghosting, ignoring and blocking. That's what they do after few weeks, few months of wasting my time.

[sage2021]

Don't people talk on the phone anymore?
I would rather you call me and tell me thank you and because of you, I am a better person now.
If we aren't going to communicate any longer I'd like to know now and say we are still friends.

Just some ideas about what to say.
I think if it's over between the two of you, that you deserve better than for her to take a few steps back and she disappears. You are better than that! Sound confident be confident okay?

[Anonymous]

Texting is not communication. An emotionless waste of time.