Search Results: dating coworkers boss

30F either DA or FA, want to say I’m some kind of avoidant. Based on life experiences, are these pretty tell tale signs I’m probably…well not attractive? I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships.

Last thing I’ll add was being bullied pretty badly as a kid, again I was chubby so I know this played a part. Worse in middle school, I didn’t have to be homeschooled but it still sucked really freaking bad. And in HS but not as extreme as middle school, HS was more mean girls if anything. As an adult at old jobs, I did have confrontation/clashing w/personalities too. And let’s not forget shit bosses. Since I’ve worked remotely for the past few years, I haven’t had drama with coworkers or mgmt. Let’s hope it stays that way, I’ve had to deal with toxic family members too but that’s a thing of the past.

I’M SO CONVINCED THESE THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE

I like my boss. He is such a sweetheart! He makes eye contact when we talk, laughs/jokes with me, tries to invite me to work outings (which I usually avoid unless they're mandatory), etc. I know he's my boss, but he makes it a point to let me know he'll accept a call for help at any time of the day and wants me to call him when I'm feeling down... I joked about the latter when he first suggested it and accidentally chuckled in a sultry way, which he seemed to do in return? I felt there was some "tension" between us at that time... but that could have been my own "tension" talking.

I love that he's respectful to women regardless of looks, and I also realize that he might not be into me and is just being kind. DGMW, I'm not ugly... but I'm very aware that I'm not everyone's cup of tea... I've been reminded of that multiple times since I was young. Penelope/Colin relationships, especially ones where Pen looks more like Kate or Lady Danbury than Daphne or Queen Charlotte, are uncommon. I've also noticed my coworkers (mostly the women) acting funny towards me ever since this one time he told me he liked my hair. I can't tell when I'm liked because it's so few and far between, so I don't know if they're seeing something I'm not or just being weird... don't men compliment hair?

I made the mistake of dating a coworker while we worked together years ago; I wouldn't dare pursue a relationship with a coworker now. I've also been rejected by every guy I've ever confessed to, so I'm hesitant to put myself out there. I want him to make the first move, but I'm also worried, if he feels the same way, that he's too scared to say anything to me... so I want to try to "guide" him to me. I told him a few months back that I wanted him to "not be a stranger" with me after I quit, and he's said I should let him know when I'm quitting. "Tension" made me feel he was saying it in that sort of way, and I'm thinking of revisiting that convo when I tell him I'm quitting.

Copied from my other account because I'm stupid and chose the wrong gender there:

Since the moment I've met him, he's had my undivided attention. If we weren't coworkers, I would have immediately asked him out.

At work, we constantly pick on and roast each other and laugh about inside jokes. A coworker noted our relationship as being obnoxiously sibling-like, but my boss was sure we'd end up dating.

Just recently though, I had to move away for work. At my going-away party, I became certain he treats me differently from others. We were all drinking so things are fuzzy, but I know he was glued to my side the entire night. And it was easy to catch eye-contact with him because he was looking at me a lot. At one point we had a conversation which became suggestive, and I was sure it was going somewhere, but then he said "i like ya, i love ya, but it would be weird". I dropped it because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. After that it was back to picking on each other and having a good night with friends. Then, when we were the last two at the bar, he picked me up, carried me to the roadside, hugged me, said he'd miss me, and ran to his taxi. I was left confused on the sidewalk before heading home.

Then the night before I left, after saying goodbye to everyone, he drove me to my hotel. We hugged and said we'd miss each other, and just before I walked into the hotel lobby, he called out again to say he'd miss me. He sounded a little emotional.

I've been a wreck since then. Not knowing how he feels is messing with me. I can't figure out if we're just friends and he sees me as a sister, or if he feels the way I do. All I know is that I'm significant to him somehow.

Since I'm now a 4 hour plane trip away, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to confess. I'd get closure and, if he was open, I'd do long-distance in a heartbeat. But if he doesn't reciprocate, I've done something selfish and upset him with the burden of my feelings.

Maybe one of you can see this clearer.