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Narcissist, or even sociopath, are words that have been used excessively, and sometimes recklessly, in recent years. Not everyone you disagree with or dislike is a narcissist or a toxic person, however here are signs that will allow you to recognise the real narcissists. We often talk about narcissism in romantic relationships, but a narcissist could be anyone: parent, friend, boss, coworker, sibling, etc.
Sign #1: They have a huge ego
Very often, they exaggerate their success/achievements or make them up, to make themselves look good. It is a weapon to make people admire them, and will use these achievements to make others feel inferior. Narcissists only wants to talk about themselves and show off. This tendency for boastfulness and arrogance is often the first telltale sign.
Sign #2: They play the victim
Through their manipulation techniques, they make people believe that they are are the victim, and that their victim is the bad person, by projecting their own negative traits onto them. It is very common for them to use gaslighting, a technique of mental manipulation with which they seek to make their victim doubt their own mental health and sanity.
Sign #3: A discrepancy between what they say and what they do
They might keep talking about loyalty, honesty, kindness, or other values they pretend to have, and yet they act the opposite way. They're two-faced: they will show one face to their victim and another to the rest of the world. The outside world will only see a positive image of the narcissist.
Sign #4: They lack empathy
Although they are fully aware of the harm they're doing, they have no empathy and even feel a certain pleasure in seeing others suffer. The more they see how much the situation upsets you, the more they will take pleasure in seeing your pain. They don't care about the consequences of their actions and they will blame their victim for "making" them act this way.
And when you think you detect signs of empathy in them, most of the time they are fake. Narcissists know how to pretend, because feigning empathy is also part of their manipulation techniques.
Sign #5: They'll try to isolate you
Narcissists isolate their victims to create a hold on them. They will not hesitate to lie to you and criticise your friends and family, so that you end up only trusting them and gradually isolate yourself from others. Their main goal is to make you lose confidence in yourself and your loved ones. By isolating you, it will be much easier for them to control you.
If you're dating a narcissist, they will often use emotional blackmail, in order to make you feel guilty. They'll say things like "If you truly loved me, you would do this for me" or "if you don't do that, I will leave you".
Sign #6: They use narcissistic phrases
They'll use this type of language:
-“Look at everything I do for you”
-"No one will love you as much as I do"
-"I never did that, I never said that"
-"It's your fault for making me angry"
They'll try to make you feel great and really bad about yourself at the same time. They'll give you a small compliment then a lot of criticism just after it. They use this technique to make you believe that they're not all bad, and that they do care about you. However their true intention is to build you up just to knock you down.
Sign #7: They lie a lot
Narcissistic manipulators will try to create a mental fog in their victim's mind by lying. They will claim that you're paranoid, that you don't understand them or that you have completely made something up that really happened. Their goal is simple: to make you depend on them on all levels: whether emotionally, physically or even financially. And to do that, they'll lie to make you doubt yourself.
Sign #8: They are great seducers
Narcissists always make a good first impression. They will use grand gestures, and great promises (e.g. I will never hurt you) to be sure that you fall in love with them. They will act like the perfect partner, before revealing their true colors. They'll even try to seduce your friends and family at first. Their charisma is captivating at first, however, this glittering social veneer quickly fades in their company, and the negative aspects of narcissism then take over.
Sign #9: They don't accept criticism
Or anything they assume or interpret as negative. So, for example, if they are asked a question that might force them to admit a mistake, they will lie, try to the change topic, or respond aggressively. Their need to protect their ego will very easily trigger their defense mechanism. Admitting a mistake, or even saying "I'm sorry" seems difficult/impossible for them.
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