Search Results: my mom is mean

It's impossible to forget them once you have grasped. But i heard about them MORE than a 100 times. And still kept forgetting.

No cognitive issues. But it was a defense mechanism. There is no way that to study it as extensively as i did and keep forgetting it is just a coincidence with me also fearing to be changed. Wanting to be changed but there is a huge reason why i became this way, to survive.

Both of my clinger-pusher parents are fearful-avoidant because of their pretty bad traumas growing up, till this day they get scared when complimented, for example.

And i learnt that the most widespread recommendations are very harmful, like; "it's no use overthinking" or "love your parents" These spoken excuses always push the anxiety further down so tightly it overflows out as irrationality.

i rarely see my parents and when i do i cannot bring myself to tell them:

Forgiving should come naturally, not through ideology. Just like breathwork never worked for me until opening up my emotions triggered the breathing changes naturally. It is ok to look like you're possesed for days while pouring out the repressed anxiety.

They still press it down with either "we blamed them, they wronged us, now forgive and move on" (my dad) or "they suck, let's revenge forever" (my mom).

Last time i told mom "i have had this bad habit forever, it is finally going away!" she rudely acknowledged and dismissed it in one same sentence.

I think everyone who refuses to investigate this topic and to persist until trauma psychology becomes as clear as adding 1+1, is afraid of finding out they have issues - even if they know they do - because we developed our issues as a means to survive. letting go of daddy issues frightens us to death, it has been our survival strategy.

The tragedy is that 40% of all adults have UNRESOLVED infancy anxiety issues and seek relationships to cope with them instead of fixing their body's repressed panic.

I appologize for my Polglish. I don't know the term in English, but in Polish, "na raty" basically means "one at a time." For example, you can be having beans, potatoes and chicken for dinner, but instead of just having everything on one plate and eating a little bit of this and a little bit of that, you are served and eat one item at a time.

Asian people do it like this. My mom was annoyed, because we literally thought they forgot the meat and were starting to leave. So in restaurants, I too prefer all main course items/sides to be served at once. But at home, I prefer to eat "na raty", because otherwise my main dish gets cold, and also I don't like to mix items because it ruins the taste craving. So if I start eating the meat, I don't go back to the other items, so I like to eat each portion of the meal as it comes off the stove. So I usually eat a salad or beans first. Then potato or macaroni. And then the meat, if it's a three course meal.

I don't know, what about YOU guys?

And is it a cultural thing or a personal preferance?