i am in a similar situation with my ex. I can sense that he wants me back even though I dumped him, but I just need him to say it. all I want to hear is the truth. I act the same way your ex does, and I know my ex is bothered by many things. yet, he always says that I am right when we argue. girls need their bfs to be a lot of things, including total honesty and the bravery to say so. I'm starting to get sick of my ex, because he is still playing subtle and sh*t. he keeps too much stuff inside.
my ideal result is for my ex to be man enough to tell me all of my faults and that I hurt him, but he still wants to work on it and will not give up. is that so hard? your situation seems to be similar to this. don't think that you will hurt her feelings, right now I'm sure she thinks you are a wuss for putting up with everything.
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you seem like a 'nice guy'. sometimes girls do not respect guys that are too nice. you mention that she expects you to meet her needs but does not meet yours, that she seems selfish and does not respect your feelings. she continues to do things that she knows bother you.
these are all signs that she does not respect you. I don't mean some kind of old fashioned thing where the man is in charge, I mean the respect and consideration that is necessary for love between two people.
once respect is lost it is very difficult, maybe impossible, to regain. there are so many millions of women in the world, I think you might want to start considering that this one is not good for you. good luck.
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