What should I do when my ex wants me back?

[Anonymous]

I was with my ex for more than a year now and she suddenly broke up with me because of school but at the same time she was flirting with guys and partying. While she was having fun, I was heart broken and trying to find myself from this situation. Wondering why this happen to me. I tried my best to be the best boyfriend for my ex that I gave up slanging, smoking, drinking, and dating girls around. Sacrificing a lot of things for the person I loved but at the same time we thought about marriage and having children together. I never abused or threaten because I learn to be a gentleman by my older sister. Now recently my ex wanted me back from four weeks of not talking to me. Well it wasn't specified if she didn't want me but there's some signal she sent like calling me, video chat, email, and visit me. I tried my best to refrain to call her since she shattered my heart into many pieces. During the time I wasn't with with my ex she was talking to this guy that she kind of liked but never felt the spark but she still kissed him and he forcefully kissed her. But now she didn't want to get into relationship with him and that is when he decided to get into one with my ex friend. Hearing all this from made me tear up because I never thought of anyone else but her. Everyday she asks me if I'm okay and sometime slip I love you. It hurts to go out with my ex because I felt the pain in my heart from the breakup. I want her to change her habits before I want to get serious again with her. I hint at her that she need to give up some stuff. She flirts with a lot of guys and have a habit of drinking. She also ignore what people says and follow what she wants. I sometime thinks she's being to selfish and she doesn't realize it. I never get anything in return from her like it when it comes to my demand it was never met. I always filled her demand but never mine. Is there a chance I'm able to change my ex habit or no. I like to withhold my true feeling sometime because it hurts so much to spill out. Help me out girls and guys. I love her endearingly even though she dump me I still hold her in my mind every day.

[Anonymous]

i am in a similar situation with my ex. I can sense that he wants me back even though I dumped him, but I just need him to say it. all I want to hear is the truth. I act the same way your ex does, and I know my ex is bothered by many things. yet, he always says that I am right when we argue. girls need their bfs to be a lot of things, including total honesty and the bravery to say so. I'm starting to get sick of my ex, because he is still playing subtle and sh*t. he keeps too much stuff inside.

my ideal result is for my ex to be man enough to tell me all of my faults and that I hurt him, but he still wants to work on it and will not give up. is that so hard? your situation seems to be similar to this. don't think that you will hurt her feelings, right now I'm sure she thinks you are a wuss for putting up with everything.

[Asker]

Thats so me ..haha. its just that I love the person that it hurts every time when we get in an argument. In the long run it make matters worse but yeah so should I go directly to her face and tell her fault. I don't want to hurt her feeling because last time /when I told her something that was affecting me . We didn't talk for 3 weeks..Another thing is that she have an ego of a man which she never find fault in herself and doesn't need a support from people but her.

[loddo]

you seem like a 'nice guy'. sometimes girls do not respect guys that are too nice. you mention that she expects you to meet her needs but does not meet yours, that she seems selfish and does not respect your feelings. she continues to do things that she knows bother you.

these are all signs that she does not respect you. I don't mean some kind of old fashioned thing where the man is in charge, I mean the respect and consideration that is necessary for love between two people.

once respect is lost it is very difficult, maybe impossible, to regain. there are so many millions of women in the world, I think you might want to start considering that this one is not good for you. good luck.

[Asker]

Thats what people are saying to me... I wish I was stronger than these emotions. But when I realize it the more contact I have with my ex the more I find it hard for me to love her like when we first met.