Is my ex boyfriend in a rebound relationship or did he already move on?

So he got together with a co-worker a week after we broke up. A few weeks after that they are basically living together and spending every single day together. Not to mention they are co-workers from the same shift so they see each other at work too. When he broke up with me he deleted me from Facebook a few days later "because he couldn't sleep" which is true cuz i was on all the time and he kept logging in and out. While we were in a relationship he rarely used Facebook to post anything. He just went in there and liked pictures and messaged relatives back home. I got curious and i checked his Facebook page :/ NOW, he's constantly uploading pictures of them together for public view,(even though all his other pictures of himself and family are private), posting cute things like "She cooked me and my bro dinner, my girlfriend is awesome!" and he's constantly posting "Having fun with my GF at golden coral" or other restaurants. They have known each other for a month when he broke up with me and they have been dating barely for two months. I know their relationship started out extremely rocky because my sis works with them and she saw the fight almost everyday.He cut contact with me exactly one month ago after he begged me to see him one last time in person. But during their first month of the relationship he kept calling me and asking me how i was doing and sometimes he would call me to tell me the guy i was seeing was just using me and that he still cared for me as person but he didn't love me. THEN he goes into a jealousy fit when i told him i didn't care since i was seeing someone else. Saying to be careful because he would kick any guy who fucks me over and take them on a "drive to the desert". BUT then he practically shoved in my face his "GREAT" relationship with this girl, saying he was happy and even if they constantly fought he enjoyed every moment of it because "he like her a lot". Did he really move on or is he on a rebound?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Them being all over each other, that could be genuine happiness together, or it could be an urge to make it look like he has moved on and to forget about you. Do they do something every day? Like everyday they go to the zoo or the movies or out to dinner or to the beach, etc etc? If they do that it implies rebound to me - in a new relationship you do things frequently but not every day. More like once or twice a week and the rest of the time you enjoy each other's company.
    Again, shoving the relationship in your face, that's normally a sign of a rebound as well. But it also probably means he hasn't moved on from you - surely if he was totally over you your feelings should be far lower down on his list of priorities, right?

    However. The time at which it took him to meet her and leave you is odd... normally with a rebound it's sort of the first person they meet. They've had a bit of time to get to know each other and start to like each other, so maybe it is a genuine relationship. If it is, he ended the relationship with you extremely badly, and out of respect he should have waited some time before going public with his new relationship.

    Does the new girl look like you, or totally opposite? It's not a helpful question, but apparently some rebounds either go for the spitting image of you (because they miss you) or the absolute total opposite (because they are trying to forget you and go to the other extreme). You'll find if she is a rebound, she won't be in the middle. Aka if you have blonde hair, she'll have brunette, if your a bit on the skinny side, she's a bit on the plump side, etc.

    Regardless if this is a rebound, it sounds like you've dodged a bullet. And I'm not just saying it - my ex did something similar and everyone said to me how I deserved better etc etc and I really didn't believe it until recently. Your ex is shoving the relationship in your face like a jealous little kid. Your ex is acting like a child not a man, and do you want that back?

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    • She's fatter, older by 7 years than both if us, and the complete opposite from me. We had similarities but personality wise we are opposites. Yeah it :/ I'm not really the jealous type but this woman used to initiate this deep sense of fear and jealousy and e knew that :/ as for them doing something everyday, I'm not sure. When we were together it was us relax ing st home watching YouTube videos, playing video games, watching movies/series, and stay home. THEY seem to go out all the time. People tell me the same thing and sometimes I believe them but after I saw him in person... I didn't see a happy guy... his expression looked the opposite of what he was saying... I was dating again and that meeting made me second guess myself.

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    • Will do :) thank you so much for the advise! I am definitely going to start focusing on myself a little more. THank you so much!

    • You're welcome hun :) Thanks for MH, trust me I completely understand how you feel. If you ever want to talk, please don't hesitate to get in touch. Remember, you've proved you're stronger than him already - he is scared to be alone and will never properly grieve a relationship. You grieving means your next one will be much more rewarding and satisfying :) Now - go get the Disney on and put cha feet up with the girls!! :)

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What Guys Said 11

  • Strange behaviour from him. It's best to just let go in this case and not even worry one bit. I will share a story and I really hope you don't mind.

    I know an old fling didn't like it when I deleted her from my Facebook. Mind you, I didn't understand why at the time, but I realized she didn't like it because she still wanted to be a part of my life and know what was going on. Instead, she felt used. We communicated back and forth for a little bit a couple months later before a major falling out. It would have been better to have left things alone after deleting her as it would have left things open for catching up if we bumped into eachother.

    I am involved now in a relationship, and I know full well that she is aware of this, but through word of mouth of mutual friends. I never told anyone to tell her anything. and me and my girlfriend have a rough patch here and there is all. Nothing to get too anxious about.

    Your ex is not letting you go and is probably playing games with you. It really doesn't sound like he wants you dating other people either. If he needs to move on, you may have to force the issue with him.

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  • Its deffs a rebound relationship and I bet he is trying to make you jealous!

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    • Really? How so?

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    • Well to be honest this breakup caught me by surprise, things were going pretty good. Im not going to lie we did have our few bumps and fights but our relationship through the entire time was fun and healthy. He might? :/ then its best if i dont do anything and if he wants to come back, he should do all the work?

    • all relos have fights! and yeap exactly right

  • well, If you were a man this would be labeled "stalking behavior".

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    • I wasn't really stalking :( I just looked at his profile once as for the rest of the things it's not my fault they decided to fight while my sister was carpooling together

    • Then the rest of the things he told me himself. The living and the 24/7 thing. Said he hated it because he love time for himself which he no longer has

  • Yea... don't trust him, and move on. He isn't who you probably thought he was. This doesn't sound like a rebound at all. If so, then he is very mentally unstable.

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  • Why should you care if it's a rebound relationship or not? You should be focusing on yourself and your healing process...

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  • Guys always move on, you better do it to, by the way you talk seems like you haven't.

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  • It does not matter. If he is in a rebound relationship that honestly says the kind of person he is. He is showing by his actions that he is an inconsistent guy and does not care for you as much as you did for him that or he is a really confused guy. My ex girlfriend did something similar to me. The fact is it does not matter what he says, people say a lot of things. His actions show the kind of person he is. In my opinion you are better without him, as tough as that may sound. He sounds psychotic and extremely manipulative and controlling based on your story..good luck

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  • he really moved on.. he broke up with you only after he's into her

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  • f ucking this guy , you are not wrong just give up.because there are plenty of good man

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  • You both need to stay far away from each other.

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  • He's moved on. It's what guys do.

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What Girls Said 18

  • Many times after a bad break up, one or both find it hard to move on right away. And yes, many times a 'Rebound Rebecca And Rebound Robert' pop up to try and help this along. It can go either way.
    In your case, at first he had a hard time adjusting to your break up, and then, After the fact, he moved on to someone he was seeing at work. Yes, perhaps at first it may have been out of loneliness, and it Is hard at first getting used to someone new, so there Will definitely be things to be ironed out, but now, if the phone calls have subsided and things have calmed down, and you are Seeing what is going on with his Facebook page, I believe he is starting to Adjust to her and their new relationship, Trying his best to move on. He must care some about her to move in with her, lock, stock and barrel.
    However, I can't lie. If he had his chance to go back with you, it may be still what he wants to do, being right now Only "he like her a lot."xx

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    • He called me a week ago but i didn't answer :/ the NC is basically more on my part, he also told me that day that we saw each that he missed me a lot because i was his best friend and partner in crime and that our six months were amazing together. He said he had a lot of fun in our relationship and there was nothing more that he wanted but us to continue being friends HOWEVER this girl forbade him to have any more contact after that "closure visit" because she was jealous of me. She told him straight out that she didn't even want him to meet me then because she was afraid that once we were together again and we started hanging out we would end up getting back together.

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    • Defiantly. But to be more frank she's more like a dog tamer than a sheriff XD

    • lol...I agree, one helluva pup.:) xx

  • Ugh! Im sorry to hear this happened but glad to read your question because I can relate a lot.
    My ex was awful to me just plain terrible. Basically told me I wasn't worthy of a stronger commitment. He started seeing the new girl before we even ended (first via Facebook because she lived out of town) He slept with me and went to visit her a week later without my knowledge of any of it. She changed her profile pic to one of them together like a week later. I mean who does that? She's obvi needy and lame. Anyway, its 6 months later they are still together...
    I see pics from time to time...We have many mutual friends so its almost impossible not to know. Would I want to be her tho? Knowing that he lied to her about me when they began? NO WAY. Point is
    Its easy to look at pictures and think they have it all. In this case I know they don't because he lied to her already. I'm just saying...You can't really know the whole truth.
    But its hurt me tremendously and the fact that I've been alone this six months trying to heal and very alone and he had someone to soften the blow that he really doesn't deserve is terrible.
    This all being said. It doesn't matter. You have no power over him being happy then I did with mine. i used to think if I thought enough it would make him suffer. But i was the only one really suffering

    Try hanging out with new people. Challenge yourself. Take an art class. You are in a rebound relationship too, its with yourself, the new you.
    And frankly it will be more longer lasting and beneficial I feel sorry for both our ex's ;)

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  • Sounds like a rebound. I had exactly that. I was in a relationship with someone, but he never paid attention to me. No matter what I messaged him, he just sees it and wouldn't reply. So I told myself the relationship was over and "moved on". I started seeing a guy; we basically breathed each other. Was together everyday, took all kinds of cute photos. But then... after a few weeks I started to feel like the relationship was moving way too fast. I didn't know this guy and yet, I've already spent the last 97283 hours with him. I broke up with him and felt like I rebounded hard. He on the other hand, really did like me. But it was because of the last relationship I was in and because I still had feelings for my ex, I couldn't like someone else.

    Don't put up your hopes though. Even if she does sound like a rebound, you should move on and be happy. Have fun hanging out with people and try to accept the fact you two are broken up. Don't push it to the back of your mind, accept it.

    I hope it works out for you!

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  • It will fail don't know when but them 2 being in each other's faces 24/7 come on that would stifle anyone..by then ull have moved on to a good guy but take ur time uve nothing to prove to anyone...show him what he's missing living the single life...few weeks ull stop checking his facebook...becos seriously is there absolutely anything of interest on it...

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  • Well honestly it sounds like you're still into him also. He does sound kind of emotionally unstable. But i say he sounds happy. Stop looking into his stuff and move on. He sounds like he is in a happy relationship and even if he is doing it to make you mad don't let him. Block him and cut all contact with him.

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  • Yes he is most definitely in a rebound relationship... He's an asshole for breaking up with you and you deserve someone Better than him. Obviously he is trying to make you jealous. Don't give in to it. He's not happy just pretending. & putting on a show. ... dont stress move on. 👍

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  • She's a rebound. I think that he contacted you a little too soon to be honest. I don;t think that their relationship is all of that great. If you are getting a little jealous, try not to let your feelings show in person or voice (over the phone).

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  • I'm sure it's a rebound but that's not your problem...l personally would tell my sister to not say anything because quite honestly what happens with him is no longer your business and you shouldn't care what he does..

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  • They probably began dating way before he broke up with you. Why do you care if he's in a rebound relationship or not? You should stop focusing on what he's doing and redirect that time and time on yourself.

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  • Looks like he was treating YOU as the rebound. It seems like he has moved on so much so that he crossed the bridge and burnt it :).

    If he deleted you, then he really doesn't care about you anymore and he legitimately likes spending time with his girlfirend and looks like he is in love with her.

    And why should you care about this guy anyway? He sounds like a fucking lunatic.

    Just get over it as well, start to heal and open your heart up for another guy.

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    • really? O.o i was his first girlfriend... and well he was my first boyfriend too.

  • Sounds like a rebound and rub it in your face "relationship". They'll probably break up soon enough.

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    • They've been dating for two months... and its killing me :( how long do rebounds usually last?

    • If it's killing you, then it's working. Don't think about it. They can vary but they're usually doomed to fail because the guy is just using her as a weapon.

    • I try not to :/ but its hard not to

  • Rebound without a doubt , hun find the strengh to move on. Here if u need 2 talk

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  • He probably had her on the side the whole time

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  • I am in desperate search of some way to make my ex boyfriend josh fall back in love with me. We have had our ups and downs, but over the past 6 months our relationship went south. I have spent 500+ on a spell caster that I thought would help me and not knowing that she didn't helped. I am reaching out because I want to be the desirable woman that I used to be and him fall back in love with me, and marry me. I can't picture this boy with anyone else ever since i contacted Dr. Odion on odionspelltemple@gmail. com everything went well as i have plan my boyfriend and i are now back together you can also call him on +2348056932230 for quick response.

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  • It does not matter he is not your boyfriend. He ended the relationship with you. Move on

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  • Yes true you should be focusing on you and move on. Even if you want him back you should focus on you and cut contact with him for a while.
    Stop looking at his Facebook as from now, you arn't doing yourself any favours keep looking at his public posts.

    Maybe he met her before he split with you and thought the grass is greener, maybe he met her after then it may be rebound.

    In all fairness it can't be that great if they argued strait away.

    Plus you have moved on too?
    It is unfair on the new guy if you are still obsessing over your ex.
    Your ex also cares for you in someway if he says he will be angry with someone if they hurt you.

    All of this is just toxic. It's not a way to be with someone. It's unhealthy.

    Stop looking at his profile, stop talking to him. Focus on you. Also your new fella.
    If your not that interested let him go before it causes more hurt. And start looking inward to heal yourself. You are clearly not over your ex and his new relationship is making you angry. But you arn't doing your self any help the way you are obsessing with it.

    If you want your ex back then ignore him and self improve, untill the hurt and anger has passed do things you enjoy and look after yourself. Then send him a positive message.

    If you don't want him then move on and stop obsessing. What does it matter with his new relationship if you don't want him anyway.

    Good luck.

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    • I have :/ after that talk in person i completely stopped contacting him. He called me two weeks ago but I didn't answer

  • He was into her before you guys broke up. It is not a rebound

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  • It shouldn't matter if he is or not. Maybe he is, or maybe he isn't. If he's your ex you need to stay out of it, and he needs to stay out of your business as well.

    It will only make things harder for you to keep tabs on his life.

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