My ex is dating someone else but still tells me he loves me?

[jennaleigh111]

OK my ex boyfriend (we were together for 10 years) all of a sudden broke up with me telling me he's struggling and needs to be alone. Well come to find out he was hanging out with a girl he met at a bar. Well we broke up but he still told me everyday that he loved me and missed me. He always talked to me like we were still together. I found out he started dating that girl he met at the bar, After I confronted him about it he told me he felt like complete sh*t because he ruined the best thing in his life with me. He was sorry for hurting me and that he loves me more that I know. Well that was 5 months ago and he's still with her but is still telling me he loves me not her he isn't planing on being with her for very long. And he also told me that he doesn't want me dating other guys which I don't understand cause he's still dating her. I love him with all my heart but I don't like the mind games any advice please also his new girlfriend and her friends keep harassing me like throwing me in face that he's hers now and he loves her and I've told him and asked him to make her stop he said he's had talks with her but it doesn't work she still does it.

[DrJones]

He doesn't want you dating other guys... but he is dating another girl. He tells you he loves you, but apparently he's telling that to the other girl as well.

This guy is not boyfriend-quality material. My ex-gf did the same cute little game to me. That's why she's not my girlfriend anymore. DTMFA* and find someone else.

I know that's hard, especially after 10 years, but you can't make someone else act like an adult. If he decides to grow up and stop dicking you around, that would be one thing - but he has to decide that, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!

* Dump That MotherFucker Already, from Savage Love

[jennaleigh111]

See that's the thing he always tells me that he doesn't love her and he tells her he doesn't love her and that they aren't going to be together very long(which is bulls*** because its been like 5 months) anyways I told him I want him to get rid of all of the pictures he has of us and he told me that he's not going to do it just because I don't want the memories doesn't mean he has to give them up. Its all confusing. And no one has told me why the new girlfriend is harrassing me like she is.

[DrJones]

It's a safe bet that the new girlfriend is harassing you because she's jealous and considers you a threat!

Anyway, he told you he loves you and not the girl he's sleeping with. Really? Why isn't he dating you then? Is he afraid the Capulets and Montagues will go to war if you see each other? Answer: right now, he's too lazy and selfish to love anyone. If he gets his act together someday, that's great, but my advice is: don't wait around for him. See other people if and when you want to.

[terificgurl]

It seems that this guys doesn't love you he just wants to use you.I know it is hard to move on when you were with someone for so long but the best thing for you to do right now is to look out for you. Right now you are the most important thing to yourself. I suggest that you tell him not to text or call you again, hang out with friends and family and when you feel ready to hit the dating scene go on. You make your own decisions because you are your own woman.Trust me it will get better when you move on and you will find the right person.If a guy tells you he loves you no woman,man,creature or thing should get in the way of you two being together.Stay strong

[jennaleigh111]

I would love to just tell him to go away but you know my love is still so strong for him. I just can't let go so easy. And as for hanging out wtih friends to be honest I don't have any. My friends were also his friends which when we broke up they stoped talking to me. I don't like the fact that I'm getting head games played but its so hard to just let go after 10 years. And what do I do about his new girlfriend harrassing me? I didn't do anything to her to deserve it.

[Anonymous]

You clearly mind this game if you're asking for advice. From a sort of similar situation, I tell you this guy just wants to keep his options open so he can go back to you if something backfires. Back out now, you deserve better than someone who wants you just when they want to and not all the time. Go out with your friends, meet some other people, you are not with him anymore and don't owe him anything, and he has no right to ask you not to date someone else if he already does.