I need to move out of my boyfriend's house. What should I do?

[missdollie]

I am currently living with my boyfriend in the basement of his parent's house for a year now. Our relationship has always been on and off before this happened. He used to physically abuse me to the point where I had to go to the hospital. He has a anger management problem for sure and when he saw that I was hurt he felt bad and stopped hitting me. He still emotionally abuses though. By name-calling, rude comments, and putting me down. Every time I talk or try and get close to him he always kisses his teeth or slams an object. I'm very scared to talk to him and to especially about breaking up. It's like I'm walking on eggshells. I work full-time and I'm doing a program in high school to get out of school. I have to be home for lunch, make sure I call on my break, and go home right away. I can't even go out and left all my friends behind because my boyfriend did not approve of them. I feel so controlled. He demands me to do things for him, when I do it wrong (because I'm so clumsy) he yells, and amazingly I try and correct myself. I'm in my late teens. I should be having fun but instead I'm miserable. Oh yeah, I might be having his baby. I don't want to keep it or let him know because he would want to keep it and this relationship. I plan on moving out while he's at work so he doesn't get violent and crazy. I'm scared he would come to my school or my work since it's so close to his house. That's another problem, if I leave I might have to throw away my education and job. SO CONFUSED! I've been thinking about this for months.

[samodio]

"Get out of there..."eEasier said than done, taking hold of your God given right to peace and security. How well I know. I am kind of in the same boat. I'm a single mom who gave up her fairly decent paying job to go to college and reach a means to an end. I have a seven year old son and we must tolerate a lot of abuse verbally to avoid it escalating into something physical, I'm sure. My home is caperted with eggshells too. It's extremely difficult to depend on anyone when you have a tiny income if any and your time is so preoccuppied with trying to keep a clear head in order to make good grades; then going to work in a part-time depressing atmophere where they depend on you to uplift them; keeping your chin up so your child will be a happy as he can and then in my case working like a man with cows, horses and hunting dogs just to earn your place. As an added bonus, your so-called "partner" makes every effort to contradict who he was when he lured you into your quarters for his benefit exclusively. It's an all too common unmerciful trap. I look forward to the day when a highter source intervines and puts an end to such a tragedy. Everyone who responded is correct. A human being should never have to put up with such inexcusable behavior. The resources available do not appear to be so plentiful nor attractive and realistically speaking, people are not so very anxious to invest in your indeavor of escape. It's always too much trouble and the best advise ususally offerred is, "Well, just pretend and hang in there. Remember it's only temporary-just 3 more years. Stay strong and look forward to the day when you can afford to walk away..." I don't know how I've managed for four years already. I deserve an award in patience or playing the best actress role. It does widdle away at your self-esteem and then it becomes harder to cope with each passing moment. Hatred and resentment become your teachers. I wish I could tell you that there is an easy way to make the transition, but it wouldn't be dishonest of me. If I discover a better way, I will be sure to let you know and please, you do the same for me.

[rihaneni]

Omg! You know what. Leave. I am dating a guy right now that is really controlling too. Not like your boyfriend but yells at me as well when I don't do something the right way. Calls me an idiot and blah blah. I own my own company and I am graduating from college in a couple months. I am not the idiot he calls me. I don't think that once a relationship goes to this type of extreme that it can ever be good again. Don't be a dumb girl and get out.

I live with my boyfriend to and although I kind of stopped talking to my friends they are there for me. I am moving out May 1st. There are many grants and student loans available that you can do it on your own. Talk to your parents and just call your friends. Develop a plan and stick to it. It won't get better. Just take a breather and some time away and know that you do have the strength to do this. Do not have his baby either if you are pregnant. You don't even have a college degree and you are living in his parents basement and this guy is a total ass to you. How much of a life will this child have? Just gather some courage and leave

[xxalibaby143xx]

i know I'm not a guy but look...My advice to you is this, I have never been in a relationship of violence although I have with mental and verbal abuse. Its so hard and its so hard to get out of but if you set your mind to doing it and you no that this is really what you want you need to give it your all and go for it. No one should EVER be afraid. Love is suppose to be easy and fun. Never scary or sad. and No real man would ever even think too put there hands on a lady. What an ass hole if you ask me. I understand your scared of him coming to find you. You need to make sure your parents no about all of this and make sure that they and your friends are there for you when you decide you want to take the step of leaving your boyfriend. they need to make sure they keep you safe and get you through this. Because you can't do this on your own, there is no way. Teen years are suppose to be fun and enjoyable never like this. you must act quickly before it only gets worse. You can do anything you set your mind too. get out while you can. and don't be afraid. you can do it!

[str8mex4u]

Wow! If you are that miserable, you need to get out of dodge and don't look back at all! You should never be scared of another human being especially your boyfriend-sounds like a pussy to me! No reason for him to ever put his hands on you-at all. If he's that much of a man why doesn't he go out to a bar and fight a man that is a complete stranger rather than lay hands on you-just a punk that does those things to you because he's not capable to do it to anyone else. Don't hesitate to get the police department to help you by escorting you to gather your belongings-they won't allow him to hit you. Than if necessary get a restraining order on him for your own personal safety.

[Jarett]

Wow hun, you need to get out of there ASAP. NO ONE deserves to go through that. Life is too short to have that happen to you. You need to go move in with a friend, or family or anyone that you can hun, even if temporarily. I would let people at your school and work know what is going on, so if he does come to your work, you can have them call the cops. I'd even put a restraining order on him to make sure he stays away. That way, if he comes within the distance of the restraining order, he can be put in jail.

[ilovethewiggles]

As scary as it is, you should definitely go to the police. You are too young to be dealing with such things, in fact, no matter what age you are no one should ever have to deal with an abusive and controlling relationship. The situation is not a joke or anything to be taken lightly. Go to the police. Get a restraining order. Something, anything other than leaving and letting him come after you.