Why would you congratulate your ex?

[Anonymous]

Ok so me and my ex have been in an on and off relationship but we had two different lives so it was hard being with each other. (which explains part of the reason why we were broken up) Anyway, I actually got into another fight with him (well more of like I stop talking to him for two days-week). I do write those status updates to kind of get him to talk to me sometimes. And he did. He congratulated me on my new job on MySpace.

So has anyone texted/messaged your ex to congratulate them after a fight/no talking? Why would you do that?

Or did your ex text/msg you to say congrats or happy b day or whatever out of the blue. They obviously still thought of you.

(Do you think he still cares after I got angry with him? I felt bad because I always ignore him after a certain amount of time until I'm missing him, partly because I need to cool off and not say anything harsh.)

[bitesizedonut]

I congratulated my ex on his marriage and even received a wedding invitation (though I lived all the way across the country and had school conflicts so didn't go). Another of my ex's congratulated me when I got into the RN program at my school. It all just depends on what kind of relationship you have with him. If it is more platonic and (at least their) feelings have been resolved over any hurt - it isn't a surprise that they are able to do the adult thing and congratulate you, despite whatever grudge you may have. It could be that this was possible for me though because there wasn't any sexual interaction (sex does change a relationship... it makes all the hurts hurt ten times worse.)

No offense, but to not talk to some one because you are mad at them is not very mature - it could be that he just assumes that there isn't anything wrong when you don't talk to him... that you are over it. It sounds like he is maybe a little more mature than you and is responding on the assumption that you are on his level. Just a thought (and truly, no offense meant).

[Asker]

Yea I know I am immature in that sense. He knows I act like this when I'm mad. There's no offense taken. I've gotten that a lot too. I should have just told him what's bothering me (which usually leads to more anger on both sides tho and hurtful words which is why I just ignore him for a few days until I feel better). He even told me that.

[bitesizedonut]

Like any good man he has learned to deal with women's immaturity by ignoring it (don't worry... I think estrogen can sometimes cause neuroticism and you are definitely not alone in the immature area... we all act like children sometimes). When my husband sees that I am being immature/overemotional he just ignores it until I resolve whatever it is I'm feeling. He knows nothing I say can change it. (continued)

[bitesizedonut]

It is a little unhealthy that you guys can't talk problems out, but it's something that, if you work on it, you can overcome (if you want). :)

Good luck!

[Asker]

Thanks. Yea I'm trying to change that habit of mine. I think I feel more like the 'guy' than he is. lol (He's more open than I am as the stereotype goes that women are open about their feelings. lol)