My ex boyfriend says he has been thinking about me a lot and misses me. What does he want from me?

[Anonymous]

my ex boyfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago after it had been kind of rocky for awhile. Whenever he tried to talk to me after I ignored him because I was in a lot of pain and thought talking to him would make things worse. Last week he told me that he doesn't want me to ignore him and that he wants nothing more than for us to talk. He also said that he has been thinking about me a lot and that he misses me. After that I replied just to see how he has been. He wished me happy birthday at exactly midnight and says that he misses me whenever we stop texting. I know this sort of sounds childish but I just was wondering what he wants from me? talking to him hurts me too much because I still care about him. Should I not talk to him?

Updates

+1 y

we were together for a year and a half

[munchydluffy]

hmm..,.. you know what, from what I experinced, depending on how your relationship ended, (for ex: what was the reason for seperation, who did it etc ) this can mean a lot of things. The first thing that pops into my head is that he clearly wants you in his life, whether as a friend or as something more then that. It is your decision whether you want that or not, but its hard to say what he wants from you since you did not state what was the reason for your break up. If the break up was something along the line of "you and I are not for each other" than it could be either A) he realized that that statement was wrong and he wants to give it another go, or B) he wants you in his life as someone he trusts and care for, but nothing more. let me know what happend, because your situation sounds similar to mine. good luck!

-munchydluffy

[Asker]

It was a complicated break up. we dated for a year and half and never fought until about 2 months before the break up. once we started fighting (over pointless things), we weren't as happy anymore and couldn't communicate since we weren't used to it. in the end both of us gave up and he said that he couldn't see any way for things to get better again. the thing is, we could talk about anything to each other and were really close. I just felt like we didn't put enough effort in

[munchydluffy]

Well, you said "we didn't put enought effort". so I think that you should try again, if you think its worth it. I mean, the first thing for a better relationship is understanding the fault of both parties. because it always is both parties fault. It's never one sided, trust me. Call him up and ask him seriously and sincerely on your relationship with him. that's if you think that you guys being a couple is better than what you have right now. good luck!

[Reeses-pieces777]

I agree that this guy should be more thoughtful and besides just talking, if he's serious about you, he's going to try to impress you the first date or something like that. if he's just into talking, sure. when you're emotionally stable and not crying or in pain, talk to the guy.

I would be careful of course. who knows where he's been or who he's been with or what he's done since the break.

If he hurt you that much, please think of the reasons why you guys broke up and if they are non-repairable reasons, I suggest moving on.

I totally agree he either hasn't gotten any or he truly wants a relationship. depending on his personality and his rep, you can see which one it is

[brainiac101528]

sounds a little like me...my ex broke up with me for several reasons; we didn't get to see each other as often as we'd liked, we were arguing a lot, he felt my mom was controlling our relationship...etc. Anyways, he probably wants you back. He may have realized he made a mistake and really wants to be with you. Talk about the problems you had and talk about how you can fix them...if he wants to get back with you its up to you to make the decision. Just guard your heart a little more than you did the first time. Trust me I know exactly what your talking about.

[santia90]

he wants one of two things...either he genuinely wants to get back together...or he hasn't gotten any and is calling you up for a booty call...in most cases it usually ends up being the second reason.

You broke up for a reason...tread carefully.

[mikkie180]

Since you really care for him take it slow, which means no sex. You need to be sure that it is you he misses not the sex. How long were you together?

[adaywithoutrain]

Yes, yes, yes. All too familiar. He found things too bad to stay with you before. In a 1 1/2 year relationship, that says a lot. He left you for a reason, and unless he comes out and tells you why and how you can fix it, what makes you think that getting back together or even sleeping with him again will prevent you from going through the bullsh*t again after the newness wears off? He's likely just horny, he had you for a long time and, well.. it has probably made him pretty hard up in the past few months. I suggest you step back and look at this situation and don't let your sad, missing him, him manipulating you --- influence your decision. Once you can look objectively at this, I think the answer will stare you in the face. I have never gone back to a relationship after it has ended, neither should you.

[Shatanya2011]

I totally Agree with you! Sounds like my situation. The more I pull the more he pushes...

[anon8]

He's probably feeling guilty for having broken up with you, and is trying to clear his conscience by talking with you. I don't think this means he wants to get back together though for various reasons (he ended it and he never actually said he wants to.) All he said was that he misses you and wants to talk, which I take to mean "clear my conscience".

[anon8]

In other words, he feels guilty for hurting you

[Shadow_in_the_dark]

if its over then YEAH you should stop talking to him..

but if he wants you back then I say you should give him another chance..;)

[Anonymous]

you should talk to him, but just be friends at first. you don't want to take things too fast. don't get sexually active, because that could be all he wants from you.

[mikkie180]

Were you guys sexually active?

[Asker]

During the relationship, yes