Why did the dumper send me this letter?

I can understand very well that you are angry or have been angry, and perhaps also sad and let down. I think that everyone who goes through something like this experiences these feelings.

I'd like to explain/tell you a few things.

After our first date which went very wel, I was waiting to fall in love before wanting to label us. This goes hand in hand with getting to know someone better for me. And if I had fallen in love, I had definitely wanted to start a relationship with you.

Like I told you in our conversation a few months ago, I would regret losing contact with you. It became very confusing for me because Iliked having you around me but I still wasn't in love.
I liked/like doing fun stuff with you, cuddling, sex, but I did not have a differen't feeling.
I have never experienced not knowing this after 3,5 months. So that means there are lots of very fun things about you to make me doubt.

The letter you sent sparked differen't feelings in me. It was so cute and and sparked a warm feeling in my heart. A feeling that comes with a great friendship. But I knew I had to end it and I did not look forward to hurting you. I do not have another and you didn't do anything wrong.
I have never lied to you and have always wished and still wish you the best.

Thank you for the fun times I had with you and that I could be myself around you. And for your lively and kind character which radiates gratitude!

I hope you will find the happiness that you deserve!

If you have any questions then you are always allowed to ask me.


I sent her a "thank you for the letter". Am not expecting a response. But I will keep this updated if anything happens.


Most Helpful Girl

  • They just wanted to make sure you would know that it was nothing you did wrong , but the problem stemmed from a feeling they could not develop even after a few months. They want to keep you around and be friends.

    • Why do you think she wants to be friends?

    • If she did not want you to be apart of their life, they would not have bothered with writing a letter.

Most Helpful Guy

  • she's saying bye... i disagree with teh idea of not putting a label on a relationship til you are in love. i think that is misguided as it can sometimes take months to love someone but a relationship label is probably necessary prior to that

    but generally speaking she just wasn't feeling that "feeling" and is ending it.

    ... sorry if that is a disappointment for you. a lost relationship is never fun

    • Thanks man.

      I also disagree with her notion by the way. You have to "open your heart" before it can start feeling. Something she obviously declined to do by not willing to label us.

    • agree. i don't really see how you can expect to love someone before calling them your bf/gf

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • They're saying goodbye and explaining the reason why they ended things. Not because of any problems but simply because they didn't love you. We can't help who we fall for, even if you're an amazing guy it doesn't always work.
    So in a way they're trying to break things to you softly and with an explanation because they care, but not romantically. It also helps them get closure and be able to move on.


What Guys Said 2

  • Wow, what a stupid woman. She ended what sounds like a great relationship for no reason other than "I don't feel a certain way".
    She's going to grow old alone.

  • I got one of these once. Fun, huh. She was just trying to give you some closure or felt guilty because you're a good man.

    • Good men finish last ey ;)

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