Why has he sent me this?

[Anonymous]

Why after 8 weeks of no contact from my ex has he sent me this? Background: we were in a relationship for 5yrs, friends for 5yrs before we got together. We were living together for 4.5yrs and had a house we both were on lease for. I got a message from “the other woman” 8.5 weeks ago to tell me he had been cheating for over a year and the day i got the message he left and moved in with her. He took 6 weeks to move his stuff out but never said a word to me in that time even though I know he had been crying for over a week, and told my close friend he knows he fucked up. I know the OW has a massive trust problem with him and has to track his phone every time he leaves house, and has already kicked him out once since he left me and won't let him see any of his friends. So why now send me this message? Im still struggling with not having him in my life and i still love him. Im of the opinion that he can write this to me, but words need nothing without action. Words are powerful, and I’m really struggling with his absence in my life. Is this his way if saying sorry/goodbye - or something else?

[DoggyDude]

It's him experiencing deep guilt. He knows what he did and knows you stood by him even when he was cheating on you, and where doing the decent thing giving him the benefits of doubt he never deserved.

It's heartfelt though, he genuinely obviously did love you and is hurt by the fact that his present set of behaviours undermine that and he's hurting because he really needs you to feel the reality / truth of 'what was'. It matters.

I've been there myself, and I learned I needed to stop because its unfair on my ex (its confusing and mixed messages). Though, in fairness my ex also has got it and knows it's true, and that really does help (also she's now in a very happy relationship and I'm friends with them both and that is something I'm eternally greatful about).

[BoopBoopBeep]

It's his way of saying "oh shite now I need a new place to stay."

Words aren't powerful. They're scribbles on a page or pixels on a screen, they have no power we do not attribute to them and mean nothing at the end of the day.

I will love you unconditionally far better than that man ever did, and all I'm asking for is a fair shot to do so.

See? What that cost me? 5 seconds of typing? Doesn't mean shite.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sounds like an apology and a goodbye.

If you reconciled, how would you ever trust him? Why wouldn't the same problems arise the second time around. That is the way it works and, no, you and he aren't different from everyone else; the same fate would await you.

Let it go, learn some lessons from the experience, and then move forward.

[boggboss]

Its a apology move on your really pining over a guy that cheated on you then moved into live with her like he will chamge and be this amazing guy for you

[AviatorTom]

He recognizes he made a big mistake... but he can't fix it. He knows he hurt you, and this us his apology, to help you get over him, and to try to get over the guilt he himself feels.

[dudeinohio]

He's trying to get your sympathy and planning to attempt to get you back.

[Avicenna]

Apparently it gives him closure

[laly520]

yes its goodbye n apology