Should I tell this girl that her boyfriend is cheating on her?

this morning my friend told me she hooked up with Tim, a guy from my English class, at a party last night. Tim has a girlfriend, a very nice and sweet and pretty girlfriend. I feel bad that she is getting cheated on and want to tell her. if I was getting cheated on and someone else knew I would want them to tell me. I want to say something so then she can make the decision of whether or not she wants to stay with Tim. it could break up their relationship but that might be a good thing since Tim is a cheater and a liar. should I tell her?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anyone who tells you not to get involved, has either cheated on someone or is the one with the person whose cheated. Or it's just that they have no heart or self respect for other humans. Otherwise they wouldn't allow another person, who doesn't deserve it...to be hurt or disrespected in such a way. If you know something, it's your responsibility to say something. Just like in the legal system, you can get in just as much trouble for knowing a crime was committed and lying or withholding information, even if you didn't commit the crime. You are aiding and abiding that person in continuing to commit that crime. It's not as severe as a criminal act, but it's still a shame and disgraceful behavior. If you know and you have any kind of heart, I'd tell her. Now whether she believes you or not is not your problem. Just tell her & if she chooses not to believe it, just step away from the situation. I've done this before and the girlfriend chose to not believe me. But I did my part by telling her and that's all I care about.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • It's always dangerous to tread in other peoples love affairs. Even though the intention might be good.

    I'm not defending anyone... but

    Everyone makes poor judgments in their life and hopefully they learn from their mistake and never do it again. That said... who knows if this guy made a poor judgement but by doing this realised who much he values his current relationship. This could result in that they would live happily ever after, or whatever. But if someone comes along and decides what is right for other people they may also steal away all those coming years of happiness.

    I'm not saying that you should neither shouldn't tell her. Just know what you are doing.

    Most of my girlfriends have cheated on me so I know all about that.

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  • its really good to know you care about this girl, and in a sence I think it would be a good thing to tell her and the simple reason is the longer she's with him and the more he cheats its just gonna really hurt her, so the quicker someone tells her the less painfull its gonna be, but you have to beaware that she might call you a liar and say "ur only tellin me this cos you want him" and trust me that is quite common 4 that to happen, but tbh your doing her a really big favor and helping her through that tough time.

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  • Putting yourself in her shoes for a minute was a smart idea. You would definitely want to know, from ANYONE if your boyfriend was cheating. She might not believe you, but at least you did your part. That's the least you can do.

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  • Up to you. I've learned to stay out of other people's sh*t though. Most of the time in the end, you (the 3rd person) end up getting sh*t on, called a liar, end up losing friendship, etc...and the guy and girl in the couple end up walking away with nothing changed.

    In this case, you could tell her, have it come back on you and she could end up trusting him more.

    Strangely...

    Get what I'm saying?

    Anyway, personally, I wouldn't say a word.

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  • lots of people told you not to get involved, in my opinion I would confront him and give him 24 hours to confess the truth. If you confront her then you snitching on your friend.

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  • Yess you should, its the honnest and best thing to do, if you were in her position you would want to know right?

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  • Of course you should tell her. The guy is a horndog. Your friend deserves someone better.

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  • I think you should mind your own business.

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  • i say it depends. it depends on if you're friends with tim's girlfriend and how much you care for her. it also depends on what kind of person tim is. if he's crazy and is willing to go through dangerous lengths to get payback, then it's not worth saying anything. you get the point. you can also leave an anonymous tip if that puts your mind at ease.

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  • Its a double edge sword. Yes you should adn no you shouldnt. People will always want help when it comes to finding out the truth with a cheater. But people will always dislike the ones that do help. Its a choice you'll have to make. Good girl, or Asshole. If it were me, drop a sutle hint about it.

    Alex

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  • tell her... f*** tim

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  • Do you know this other girl well? Ie, is she a friend?

    If she is, tell her. If she is merely an acquaintance, don't bother. It's not your problem.

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  • You're jumping to conclusions and you're convicting the dude based on hearsay. What proof do you have that Tim cheated on his girlfriend past your fairly unreliable "friend"?

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    • Who the hell are you to say my friend is unreliable? she tells me about all her hookups because we're besties. she wouldn't lie. it's not like she has any motive. she barely knows tim, to her he's just a hot guy who told her he was single.

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    • Well seeing as they've been dating EXCLUSIVELY (YES CAPSLOCK IS AWESOME) for 3 years and he says he wants to marry her I would say yes he was. why are you defending this douche? are you some guy who cheats on his girl constantly and tries to justify it with lame excuses like "she was on her period" or "it's not cheating if I don't come inside her"?

    • I'm not defending anyone except you. I'm trying to prevent you from getting involved in someone else's relationship when you don't have all the information. Relationships are complex so the the question I'm asking you is a legitimate one: do you have all the information on what happened and how are you going to approach the situation so it doesn't backfire? People tend to trust those they have been dating for three years over someone who claimed they f***ed their significant other.

  • I really hope you do.. inconvenience / 'stress' are not valid reasons to keep this to yourself. Though, what was your friend doing with this guy anyway if she knew? (Does she actually know?)

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    • No my friend didn't know. she isn't friends with tim and only met him like once before last night.

    • The three of you should get together, become best friends (think: the enemy of my enemy is my friend), and plot the demise of this 'Tim'. Bwaha. .ha..ha.ha.. ahem. Uh, you get the picture.

  • Yep.

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  • You should tell her.

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  • hmm, I wouldn't get involved, but she deserves to know somehow.

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  • Maybe make sure before you go makeing allegations, and if you do get involved to be prepared for consequences if someone takes it the wrong way otherwise don't get involved if it doesn't concern you.

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  • I think you should just forget all that and date me. =)

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What Girls Said 22

  • if my friend is a friend, I would want her to tell me that my boyfriend is cheating on me otherwise I feel that she might be manipulating something or she doesn't like the girl that the boyfriend is cheating with or who knows, it doesn't sound good when you know something your friend should know and you're not telling her.

    but that' s my opinion and that's how I would feel. I probably would dump the friend who's not telling me the truth.

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  • Id say yes, a lot of people think its best to just stay out of it but really you are already in the middle of it. Either way someone has already been hurt and the longer the person stays in the relationship thinking its all peachy keen then the harder it will be for them later down the road. Here is the thing tho who would she believe and how could or would you prove it to her so she has no doubt in her mind that you could be lieing... Tell her get your mind at ease! She needs to know! I would want to know

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  • Usually a person receiving news like that doesn't believe it and only gets upset with the messenger.

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  • Well it is up to you... as a good friend, the best thing to do would be to tell your friend that tim cheated on her... But also remember... like many of the other answerers said, you may be the one in trouble at the end.. and the couple walks away happily ever after, you will lose both your friends... Most people think you are trying to break them up... So basically, its up to you... what you really feel like doing.

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  • i've been in this situation before and my advice is you keep it to yourself because chances are she's not going to believe you. If she's not a friend of yours Its not your responsibility, trust me you don't need this stress of getting involved in this kinda drama... and it could hurt your friendship with your friend that he cheated on her with.

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  • yes! wouldn't you want 2 know?

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  • Ohh man I was in your shoes before this is what happened to my. My close friends boyfriend cheated and got some girl preg with twins...I didn't know how to tell her...and so I didnt.. it ate me up for years..

    Every time I saw him I gave him dagger eyes.. and he wondered why... I didn't say one darn word and it was eating me up slowly.. by this time the girl had the twins.. then my friend announced that they were getting married.. my heart dropped..

    So I confronted Jon and told him that I gave him 24hrs to tell Trina that he had kids with someone else...He denied it of course said that it was all a lie and that I didn't like him so he turned my friend against me..

    We stopped talking completely even though I gave her the name of the girl and her number to call her and talk.. We stopped talking after that and she married him. ...1yr into their marriage they got hit with child support.. and now we recently started talking again.

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  • If I was in a relationship and someone knew my man was cheating on me.. I would want to know.

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  • you should, but just be aware that her reaction is going to be one of pain and possible resentment, this may be directed towards you. But if you don't know her well then is probably won't affect you too much. Do the right thing, a girl did the same for me when I was 16 and she is to date still one of my best friends.

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  • That would be nice of you but I say probably not because she might not believe you and might start drama with you because she may think you're trying to ruin her relationship.

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  • I agree with how you're feeling about the whole situation, I'd feel the same way. So, If it were up to me I'd have to tell her.

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  • you can send her an anonymous message somehow. just say "hey, I want to remain anonymous, but I found out that your Boyfriend is cheating on you"

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  • Yes you should deffanently tell her!There's an old saying "Treat otheres the way you would want to be treated" So if you would want someone to tell you that you were being cheated on, then yes you should tell her. That's just my opinion.

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  • I think you should not tell anybody. It's not your business, it's their lives and mistakes. If you tell your friend you may lose both of your friends: who cheated and who was cheated on.

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  • It's hard to tell something like that, but maybe you should open her mind to see that Tim is not such a nice guy...

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  • Tell her, I would want to know if it was me.

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  • You should tell her.

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  • don't tell her unless your positive that she hooked up with tim

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  • It's not your business, don't get involved. Your don't want to be the "sh*t" talker right?

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  • I think you should tell her.

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  • If your good friends with her, then yes.

    If not, then no. Its none of your business, who cares.

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  • well if you are good friends with this girl it would be the right thing to do. however you don't wanna get caught up in any drama. maybe if you talk to her just kind of mention something casually that will make her think about it but not look like you just told her or are talking sh*t. she does need to know though

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