How do you move on from a relationship with no closure?

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me. We were together for a year. He was a narcissist. He blocked me on everything. I’m trying to move on, but I have this ugly pain in my chest. I can’t go a day without thinking about him.

In an attempt to get over him, I had sex with this guy I knew on social media. I have NEVER had sex with anyone I didn’t love. I’m 25, and before this hookup, I had only slept with 2 people. My narc ex and my high school sweetheart.

But this random hookup felt so empty. I felt so depressed after. Even worse than I did before the hookup.

I’m feeling kinda awful, I didn’t get any closure, and I feel like I lost a piece of myself when I had a random hookup. Because I’ve always been so moral about sex.

What can I do to move on?

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation. I must say, I found my answers on my own. I stalked social media to figure out information and I eventually discovered that my ex had ditched me to be with another woman who (very soon after) got with another guy. So he got his karma. But if I had never went and found out the truth for myself, I would tell the version of myself that didn’t know the real answer to stop believing what he said and look at what he caused. He broke my heart, he told me things that left me confused, he didn’t give me any signs and didn’t feel that’s i was worth it enough to even say goodbye. He left me hanging, confused and guilty about what I could have done wrong. He made me feel worthless. Knowing now that he just lied to me till the very end does feel freeing, and I would tell the version of myself that didn’t know to trust in reality. If he wanted to be there, he would be. If he cared, that wouldn’t have happened. Don’t WORRY about if he regrets it. It’s easier said than done but if he goes on to live a happy life, you promise yourself to do the same. Don’t let him keep controlling you. And don’t you ever let him come back because he only will of his plan A doesn’t work out. Don’t feel bad for him or for yourself. Realize that time will heal your wounds and practice loving yourself. Work on finding something to smile about in your own life. Start with one thing and then move into more and more additions to your life that make you happy like hobbies, family, books, partying, whatever makes you happy. As for the sex, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You did what you thought would help. There is nothing wrong with trying to make yourself happy. That’s what this journey ahead of you is going to entail:your going to feel like nothing is working and like you need answers and then over time your going to realize that you don’t and that your just fine without him and that you have things to be happy about. Trust that time heals all wounds. And tell yourself this right now-he is gone for a reason. Despite your confusion on the matter, he is not a part of your life anymore. He was a chapter in your life, not the whole story. That chapter has ended. Now your life is about you again

[greyghostlady]

I am very sorry you got involved with Narc! I was there once and it’s one of the most painful experience I ever had. I am an empathetic person with big heart and-try to see good in people first. I assume you are a mind kind of person from the sound it’s affecting you.
Please find a therapist ASAP and they will work with you on your recovery, you need to heal. It took me 2 years to get over the demage he had caused. It was a rolo coaster ride. I know it’s difficult to hear but there is no good that can come out of remaining in relationship with Narc. Some people find away to deal with it and learn to communicate with them so it doesn’t affect them on psychological level but from my experience it is not a good arrangement to have. Please read books and educate yourself about Narcissism and NPD and what’s causing it and how it can demage other self esteem and your entire life for that matter. They won’t ever give you closure. Try to understand why they do what they do and hopefully that will easy your pain. Educating on personalities will help you be aware of others behavior and protect yourself from further demage. I fell into it blindly once and tried to fight it second time and both times I got hurt really bad. They don’t know how to love themselves and therefore they can’t truly love you.

[thomual]

I've been in your exact place, even though I'm a guy. I experienced the same thing. After my hookup I lost all respect for myself and my purity. I started sleeping around and wasn't picky. Eventually I found a good girl who helped to stabilize my wild new spirit. Sadly after a few years I had to dump her because I knew it wasn't fair to her I was just using her to give my life some stability.

Your moral deviation is normal. It happens when our hearts are broken without closure. We are just trying to cover it up with something else.

Hopefully the guy you chose was down on his luck with girls and maybe you did him a favor for his self esteem. Unless you picked a creep who was just using you and couldn't care less. A lot of guys are in the same place you are with their broken hearts. They'd be good company.

As for how to get closure there are only 3 ways, and all require a mirracle.

1: You pray to God for answers and He gives them to you, connecting all the missing pieces, and giving you clarity as to what exactly happened and why. You can then learn from it, and it might make you 100% better.

2. You can pray for the miracle that he will suddenly come back to you, appologize, talk to you, and take responsibility for the damage he did. This had actually happened for me a few times in my life but it's super rare.

3. You can study relationships in books and seminars and hope something jumps out and gives you an, "Ah Ha!" Moment or 5. I found these kinds of answers from paid "relationship repair" courses, couples groups (I attended as a single person but learned a lot), personality tests, and relationship books.

Unfortunately there is no quick or easy solution short of a miracle, but there are these things that you can do to help.

[lightbulb27]

You need a therapist asap.

narcissists will wear you down and destroy your sense of self, that makes it more likely you do something desperate and don't feel like yourself. Narcssistics (the spectrum of disorders) love to prey on empathic and sensitive people... ones that don't have good parameters and boundaries... because they can deceive and destroy them. They are more like a spider than a human.

But, I don't believe what I read is accurate. "your narcissist boyfriend broke you with you and blocked you"? That isn't how they function in my experience. he'd only do that if he was going to come back and tear you down again... so it does not make sense and you need someone to help you sort this out.

Stay the F away from males and sex right now, you are in no condition. Also stay away from drugs including alcohol.

Read a book on narcissistic abuse, journal, practice gratitude, learn what you can about yourself... tune into the feelings and write them down, and find a therapist you trust. Do the things that fill you up and make you feel good... exercise?

be glad you are still alive and have not become a slave to this person or the other.

attend something like "grief share" so you can start process of healing. but again, STAY AWAY FROM MALES AND INTIMACY UNTIL YOU ARE HEALED.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Unfortunately, these kind of things just take time and trying to focus on other things while you heal. For me, I like to focus on my career, hobbies, spending time with family and friends, etc. Anything to get whatever is eating at me off of my mind.

For awhile, the lack of closure will feel like it's eating at you, but over time as you heal you'll care less and less. You might even find the breakup was for the best.

As far as the one night stand goes, don't beat yourself up over it. Everyone does things they regret or wouldn't normally do when they are experiencing emotional turmoil. Nobody got hurt, so just chalk it up as learning that casual sex isn't for you. You thought it would help you heal, but it didn't. That's okay.

[Paris13]

Just because Two people Break Up, Doesn't Mean they can't Make up and that it is Good-by, My Guy. There may still be Chance for Romance.
Try and Contact him to See if you Both can Talk, Perhaps he has Blocked you due to being very Upset himself. If he doesn't Come Back, This is your Closure that his last Words to You are what he Says... xx

[akihon]

Are you a psychologist because then you can say he's narcissistic but if not then your throwing labels around, he's blocked you on social media so that says to he's the direct opposite of what you claim him to be as a narcissistic personality would want you to see what they are up to, that gives them power to affect you. That's not the case here.

So you slept with somebody after the break up, how did you go about that exactly, did you contact somebody and say let's fuck or did you send a few days making them think your in for a relationship.

Whichever it is is important here, if you said dtf then fine but if you convinced them it's something worthwhile then both point you to being the narcissistic personality and the toxic one.

Now getting to your question then, what makes you think you need closure, again this points to a narcissistic personality, you feel the need to have some form of control to move on or to keep them with you. There is no need for closure you've already had it, the relationship ending, for whatever reason is closure it's over that's the end of it.

The fact that you slept with somebody maybe to help get over him or to get some sort of revenge is down to you to figure out. If it was some form of revenge then I'm sorry but I understand why he broke up with you, because you are the one who needs professional help, not him, you have some demons that you need to take care of not him.

[Asker]

Well, I have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. I’m in my Masters Program for Clinical Psychology. He has almost all the signs of a narcissist, by the way. I don’t even need a prior education in Psychology to know this either to know the signs. No one is throwing labels around. However, he did go to a Psychologist as a kid, and the Psychologist himself said that he has signs of NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder) and that his mom shows signs of it as well. Once his mom heard that, she took him out of therapy.

[Asker]

Also. I’m not my ex. I didn’t lead anyone on. I met a guy from Tinder and we both said we wanted a hookup.

[Asker]

And I think it’s interesting that you think I’m the narcissist. I didn’t hook up with someone for revenge. I did it to get over my ex. Didn’t work. Oh well. I said I needed closure, not for control, but for piece of mind. When we broke up, he told me he pretended to love me our entire relationship and only used me for sex. Before he said this, he had asked me if I thought one of his friends was attractive. And I said no. But I’m a bad liar. And he caught my lie. Which is how he ended up saying he never loved me and used me. Still think I’m the narcissist? He also told me he never found me attractive, and started making fun of my body. Things he knew I was insecure about. I wanted closure, because he’s done if before where he says things and then later says he didn’t mean them. Or was just upset. But other times he does mean them. If I got closure, then I would just wanna know if he really did just use me and never loved me.

[akihon]

Nope but I think your both messed up and as bad as each other and your both better without each other. As for your psychology qualifications I thinks you've diagnosed him without his consent and therefore I can see why you'd choose to go anonymous for posting this question because that itself breaks every single law regarding professional conduct. I still don't think he's a narcissistic person, maybe some traits but then again, you claiming the victim here shows you have just as many as he does, maybe if you dropped your ego for a minute your see that but I doubt you will, hence why I said you are also very much in need of help

[mj97l]

@asker don't listen to this douche. @akihon I don't know how you made all the leeps you did to try to turn this around on her and make her the bad guy. I'm currently getting my masters degree in social work, and we can diagnose people too. She never diagnosed him with anything, a previous psychologist diagnose him with NPD. Don't try to tell her she is practicing unethically. She's not. She simply said she recognized the signs in him. Quit being an asshole. You don't have nearly enough information to try to call her a narcissist. What are YOUR qualifications for making that diagnosis?

[akihon]

She never diagnosed him but called him a narcissistic ex, well then are we not calling things like that a diagnosis now. Also it makes no difference what you want to call your profession if you attempt to diagnose somebody, ie giving them a label without their express consent then you break professional conduct regulations, you should at least know that because if you don't then please find another job because your a bigger danger to those reliant on you than you care to admit.

I wasn't turning anything around on anybody rather pointing out a few facts, that you can't or won't cope with those days a lot more about you and your fragility of mind.

As for a previous professional making a diagnosis are you going to say that once a diagnosis is made that it is stuck for life, that it cannot change or that a different professional wouldn't come to a different diagnosis. Again if that's what your going to state then please state that to your tutors as I'm sure they'd love to correct you.

Seriously where are you getting your education from. What kindergarten are you attending because your being badly failed.

[newblinds]

@akihon I know what you're saying about the narcissistic person wanting you to see them, but blocking someone on everything without closure is a hallmark of the narcissistic personality disordered individual, not saying the person necessarily is though, but I read it's part of their devaluation and discard phase.

Anyone can say that someone is a narcissistic person, narcissism is a personality trait, it's not a diagnosis.

Anyone can also say someone has narcissistic personality disorder, but professionals would know that you would have a hard time making that case without having clinical experience with the patient.

If you have a close relationship with someone and you have a background in psychology then it would probably be possible to accurately notice the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder.

I saw some ethical guidelines about refraining from diagnosing people who haven't been clinically examined, probably because it's not as likely to reach the correct diagnosis, and that it could be harmful for the individual to have that label, and that it would breach some sort of confidentiality about a person's medical/psychological condition.

In this case it's an anonymous person about another anonymous person so you would see that it's causing the person no harm, and that it reads as an opinion and not a professional diagnosis, so it seems to not be breaking the ethical guidelines.

Yes, you can say that someone is something based on a previous diagnosis, of course. Another person could come to a different conclusion but it doesn't mean that the diagnosis didn't happen. I heard for genuine NPD type people their personality doesn't change all that much over their lifetime.

[newblinds]

Is getting closure narcissistic, well everyone has a degree of narcissism in their personality, it's what makes you care about yourself. It doesn't seem like a relationship ending in any way is the equivalent of closure though, it's usually where both sides are able to get clear answers and feel a sense of resolution, despite the pain that could arise from parting ways.

[akihon]

I agree with most of what you say, where I differ though is to say a person is narcissistic is its of a diagnosis of NPD and itself to make that diagnosis, while I agree to an extent everyone had some degree, to say so is in itself dangerous both for the person being labelled and the one making the diagnosis without consent or experience, in this case experience is a given but consent is not. There in that fact of diagnosis is where the professional conduct is broken.

Now you say closure is a resolution what more resolution do you need then other than the relationship being over, would you breaking up with a woman enjoy being told by her all of your faults and why the relationship broke up, maybe you would, maybe a doormat has more backbone to accept it and move on, personally I find the idea of closure to be perverse and sadistic. Nothing can be gained other than to flatter ones ego nothing more. Also it's a whole leap to say blocking somebody on social media is a classic narcissistic move, when it's for most people the only viable option to get the message across that they have cut you out of their life they want to move on and so should you. Let's apply your argument that its narcissistic to a woman who has been abused and told to or decides to block somebody on social media they by your own argument then are the one with the problem not the abuser. Sorry but your argument fails and being no more than a straw man.

[newblinds]

You can freely "diagnose" someone without their consent for yourself, but it seems to not be as reliable if they weren't in the clinical setting.

If you tell others about the person's diagnosis then it would seem unethical, but in this case it's anonymous so there's no harm to anyone and there's no diagnosis done by the asker, it's just an anonymous opinion that can't be verified.

You're saying, that saying a person is narcissistic means they have NPD? People can be narcissistic but not have NPD, I don't know if I understood what you're saying though.

Closure depends on the person, if someone leaves for example then the relationship is over but it doesn't mean there was closure for the other person in the relationship.

I didn't say that everyone who blocks you on everything has NPD, so I don't think it's a strawman.

It's not a leap to say NPD individuals devalue and discard people, completely stonewalling any attempt to contact, it's literally one of their calling cards, but my comment wasn't that everyone who cuts off contact has NPD.

At least that's what I understand about this stuff, as one casual side interest I picked up.

[Asker]

Okay, here it goes.

It’s not unethical of me to notice signs of NPD. Which he had almost all of them. However, he was diagnosed by an actual Psychologist when he was 15. And if you’re asking if that stays with him, YES. It does. If he’s ever arrested for a crime or goes to a new Psychologist, he has to tell his new Psychologist about his diagnosis. And if it’s a crime, the police can get access to those records with a warrant.

ALSO, NPD is almost impossible to cure. Even with an intense amount of treatment. That’s why the label stays with you.

Also, nothing I said was unethical. I called him a Narcissist because he called himself one, AND I noticed the signs AND he had been previously diagnosed with it and told me about it. I’m not violating any rules or patient confidentiality because (1) He’s not my patient. (2) I’m not his Psychiatrist. (3) I didn’t reveal any identifying info about him.

Violating any ethical codes would have to require me to expose him. Like if I said his name, or posted a photo of him, or ANY identifying info about him. But I didn’t. I called him my ex, and I didn’t say any info about me, you don’t know who I am. Therefore, you could never identify my ex.

Now that we cleared up your misconceptions. Having signs of NPD doesn’t mean you have it HOWEVER, almost every “normal” person only has about 1-3 signs. Having 1-3 doesn’t make you a Narc, it’s essential to have because it’s the part that makes you love yourself and take care of yourself. You’re a Narc when you show a particular amount of signs and it also depends on WHICH ones the Narc shows. I won't say how many or which ones they are, that’s why I didn’t tell you all the things my ex did. I told you smaller signs that he showed. But there were many others.

Also, I wanted closure because he hated me out of nowhere. I didn’t lie or cheat on him. It’s completely normal to want to know if you did something wrong for someone to hate you.

[akihon]

Ok so you've justified and clarified a few things and I'll happily let that go.

Onto the closure then, what do you think you'll gain from it, what would you do if you asked why and he said because he wanted to. Your saying he's been diagnosed with NPD so what do you in your superior educational levels think your going to get from it, do you somehow think that your vagina is just so amazing that he's going to break down and say he didn't know what he as doing or he made a mistake.

What if he says you got fat, lazy, ugly, his did it because he could, he prefers your best friend he's also be banging for months, your actually a very dislikeable person when he got to know you better.

Of course your going to say no you don't think that, but deep down we both know that's exactly what you think and exactly what you want to happen.

What closure do you get form that, nothing other than more hurt and more realisation that you aren't special, your no different to anybody else and the fact remains then that you broke up, that's all the closure you need.

Remember you don't owe him anything, but then he doesn't owe you anything either.

[mj97l]

@akihon I love how you literally were proven wrong, so you attacked her, under the guise of being helpful. Classy. She just wants to know what happened. Stop trying to draw conclusions from a situation you know next to nothing about.

[akihon]

I love how you've managed to twist everything. Ok how about this, my heart bleeds for you so badly because you were dealt the cruelest of all blows even loosing a child is nothing by comparison to the hurt and devastating loss you must be going through, the absolute hell you must be suffering right now. How about you go fuck yourself off the end of a bridge, simply because you can't cope with a little harsh reality does not mean that I'm willing to pander to your selfish beliefs that people like you deserve the best of everything while you do nothing to earn it. I don't have to and nor do I care to hide the ugly truth about the world being often unfair and harsh, that you demand the world change to suit your snowflake mindset is your issue not mine.

[Asker]

I doubt it’s any of the reasons you listed. If he was banging my best friend, then he’s gay. Lol.

A relationship I had prior to this one, I did the breaking up, but my ex also told me things that he disliked about me. And they were basic things I could work on. Ex:he didn’t like how I never made my bed. It wasn’t a deal breaker b/c he didn’t dump me over it. But he was raised in a military family, and it bothered it that I never made the bed. Other basic things bothered him, but they were pretty small. They were things I could change. If I felt like I should.

That’s what I like about closure. I like tying up loose ends. I don’t want to ever wonder or have any regrets. It’s way more painful to not get closure, than it is to not get it and be in the dark about everything. We obviously have different opinions, you don’t like closure: good for you. Not everyone is like that, so I don't know why you’re still going on and on.

[akihon]

Closure is just a fantasy for you, I wonder then if he were to say it's because if your psychotic behaviour is what caused it, regardless of whether or not that's a lie it makes little difference, you walk away either hurt worse or left wondering if he was telling the truth, that's just a cause to make you worse for your own future, if that's what you really want then fine but you have to understand that you have no right to it then regardless of whether or not you want it, it's then maybe just something your going to have to learn to live without and accept that.

Personally it makes little difference about this closure you speak of, the relationship ending is closure enough as far as I'm concerned but if you are the kind of person who would want to meet up to have feedback then that's for you.

[mj97l]

OP, I wouldn't even give this guy the time of day. He's just a troll. Wanting closure is perfectly normal. He hasn't said a single helpful thing. I hope you feel better soon 💙

[akihon]

How am I trolling, just exactly how, I'm trying to understand why it's so important to get something that you have no rights to ask for. Why it's so important to hear something that could be an utter lie, let's say for sale of argument, she contacts her ex asking for closure he agrees to meet somewhere and then never shows up, what then exactly does she get out of it, nothing and in fact she's worse off than before.

Let's say they agree to meet and he shows up, and she starts to talk about it and he tells her to go fuck herself, again what then exactly did she gain, nothing

Let's say they meet and she asks why and he drops a load of lies about her behaviour or mental state, all things which could well be lies, again what then she's worse off than before.

In all cases she's worse off than just accepting that they have broken up and healing and moving on.

I don't see that my statement and at the same time trying to understand why the op wants to open herself to such punishment is trolling, if argue then your doing far more by encouraging her to walk into the snake pit.

But then again if that's what she really wants to do great have at it, just don't come back here asking why when you asked him for closure he laughed in your face. You've been warned

[Asker]

😂😂😂

[nowaytosay]

He did you a favour.
I've got news for you... He'll probably come back lol
Remember all the hard times - don't fall back into that trap again.

You sound exactly like me.
Honest to god.

I was Devo when mine just ghosted me.
I never thought I'd make it.
Guess what... He came back.. bragged about being with lots of girls and he hadn't changed...
He was treating them like he did me lol
Don't think someone else is getting a better deal - that's the hardest thing I kept thinking...
They aren't... He will treat them the same way eventually

[mj97l]

Honestly, some things work differently for everyone. Sleeping around helped me somewhat after my last big breakup, even though I was in the same boat as you, and had previously been very moral about sex. He was a douche too. Some things that have helped me are as follows: keep a clean living space, with as much sunlight a possible. Exercise, run or walk on a park trail or just outside in general. Get new hobbies or practice current hobbies more, like reading. If you like and have pets, spend more time with them. Buy them a new toy and play with them. Spend time with family. If you haven't already, delete all memories of them from your life. But the most important thing is to give yourself time. Hope this helps.

[DorkVader]

I don't believe in closure, because life is messy and does a lot of messed up shit. If your ex was a narcissist, you need to understand that you need time to heal from that relationship, because very likely, he's been playing serious mind games with you and your self esteem and perception of reality. You're lucky he blocked you on social media because you got a clean break. Block him back. Give yourself time to grieve the loss and work on building yourself back up.

As to sex and morality, you already had sex outside of marriage, so you're going to hell anyway. Consider this a one-off and don't let it bother you so much. You tried a thing and it didn't work out. Most one nighters are terrible anyway. It's a lesson learned. Take care of yourself and you'll start to feel better, I promise.

[Asker]

I don’t believe in god sooo. I don’t need to be religious to be moral.

[DorkVader]

Hey, that definitely wasn't the point of the response. The point was, don't beat yourself up over mistakes made, just don't make them again.

[AlongCameCindy]

I've been there ex fiance blocked me on everything and was in a relationship days later with some other girl he didn't care about me at all, after everything i did for him after telling me i was his soul mate and he loved me, had this happen twice happened before and didn't knew i'd suffer same thing again, getting no closure is hard so i know what you're going through i've been there and done it, took me years to get over it the first time, i know you're hurting but if you can please remember he is not worth your pain and know you won't be hurting forever.

[Girl11137]

Remember strong girls don’t need closure and follow this page on insta getoverhim this is not mine or any Frnd of mine. I myself discovered this page after my breakup and believe me gradually u’ll let go of d breakup’s pain. Right now d pain of breakup u r going through will heal only once u r away from him as much as u can and now focus on urself more, think of d things u couldn’t do Becz u had to take in consideration of ur boyfriend, do dose things now. Don’t be so focused on d closed door look out now for d open ones. And now for d hookup part it’s been done so remember past is past Nd no amount of guilt will change it. It’ll only Cauz ur mind trouble from overthinking about it. Chin up be strong. Remember dis pain is temporary and have hope for good things ahead. try to live in present and every now nd then he will come in ur mind but it’ll all eventually fade away. And one more thing u can do is date a better guy its effective at times.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Get right with God, don't look at sex as a solution (it usually makes things worse), and find a hobby or cause that you care about, and dedicate yourself to it.

My old gal is only able to get on Facebook for business or to talk about Coronavirus. She can't talk to me directly anymore. China and its BS. But I still read her feed.

I miss her, but haven't found anyone that would allow me to justify moving on. I realize I can't do anything for her.

I'm heavily into some writing projects. Even went to some towns for local research and to take photos. Still doesn't fill the void of not having a companion.

Yet, a random hookup? Not even worth considering.

[Mickey9999]

Time. I think after so long the human brain just gives up on its own. So for now just try to direct your thoughts in another direction. Or each time you think of him, instead of trying to figure out what happened or what’s wrong with you (nothing) flip and simply tell yourself he didn’t love me and leave it at that. If he was the least bit kind or had any love for you at any time, he wouldn’t have blocked you completely out of his life. As far as morality, forgive yourself and still realize you did nothing wrong. Today’s society and religions have been trying to control our basic biological instincts for thousands of years. What’s done is done and all you can control are your decisions now and in the future

[backinblack22]

I’ve had this twice happen in my life. It’s shitty but it’s life.

Accept that you won’t “get over it” but you manage it. The worst I had was 5 years ago when my ex was heinously callous after i encountered a serious issue a few weeks after we split (PM if you want details). I wrote her an email 3 years ago after unsuccessfully trying to start a dialogue. I forgave her and wished her best of luck. My ex after that ghosted me after 9 months of dating. That hurt but I was more hardened up.

Anyway you learn to manage the pain of the memory and it fades. It might not ever go completely away but it will get easier.

[Jessymjr]

Don't be so hard on yourself Narcs do that sora thing to everyone they meet just be greatful you guys were only together for a year hun i know its not the easiest to hear but narcs dont truly love anyone the other thing you need to do is connect with people you know or people you meet find yourself again start by doing the things you used to do before you met your ex then build yourself up from there

if you have anything a feeling or an off sense do not engage with that person look for the red flags you may not have realized then but you do now

[ChiTown33]

You're pride has been wounded. You'll get over it it just takes time. What helps is when you think of him remember all of his bad points. He had them you're just not focusing in on them. Eventually you'll come to the realization he's just one of the 3.5 billion guys on the planet. And thete's no sense holding any regard for one that shows you so little regard.

[theCobbler]

Wow! That's tough ! I know your heartache... nd I wished You'd never had the post breakup sex , I could have told you thatd only make the feeling worse! Take a vacation, go to a day spa, and pamper Yourself, take a day off work , stay home in your comfy pjs and read a book you've always wanted to... Your going to have to pick Yourself up and dust off , I know it's not easy , or without pain , but ... Your young and strong, You will Survive this and even greater heartaches... although heartaches come and go so do the Good times , the great memories and the high on life moments ! Blessed be !

[Seher999]

Always remember he doesn't deserve your pain. It's his lose bc you know yourself than anyone. It's his own issue he need to deal with Not your issues. You said it yourself he's Narcissist and I will Add he's Selfish/imature that will never find true happiness. Narcissist are incapable of loving anyone but themselves. feel sorry for his next victim. Time heals. Grieve first then keep yourself Busy. How long? Depends on how long you stayed on that toxic relationship. But it will pass and you feel you want to puke evertime you remember him. Trust me.

[Seher999]

Promise yourself. Never do a rebound again. It will hurt you twice. You're in a vulnerable position. Don't focus on guys focus on yourself.

[jtg13]

The questions you need to ask are about yourself. Why did you attract a narcissist, what qualities about you is it that made you a perfect person to be could with a narcissist?
It's soul searching time, you're not likely going to get over this till you do.

[Asker]

I’m a very empathetic person. That’s the number one quality that a narcissist looks for. But it’s not a quality that I’ll get rid of. It might make me a target for a narcissist, but I think this quality makes me a better person.

[justunlh]

A random hookup will fulfill your physical desire... but nothing positive emotionally. You need to meet the right person. I am in the exact situation. We were a team. She wronged hurting me. Our relationship changed. She blocked and vanished from me. I've had random hookups... nothing🧡👎😥. And even been with the original girl that cheated and felt the same. No🧡😥👎 you need to find the right man. Date. Not hookup. That's what I am trying to do.
Best wishes

[Mexicvn]

Time heals girl! Out of sight, out of mind. I had a mutual breakup with my ex of 6 years in 2018. As time went on, yes there were instances where I wanted to get back with her, yes I had breakdowns. But with time, I've learned to let go. It's tough, but it gets greener on the other side. Trust me.

[Steve061963]

Ditto what Kodvik said. Day at a time. Walking or running or exercise in general helps. Releases endorphins that can help the mood. Going through it myself. Been a couple months since the split, was doing well, then made the mistake of texting her, I suppose with the hope of something. Got shut down. Doesn't hurt as it did initially, but the heart is still sore. Day at a time. It will fade and something or someone new will come along.

[Laozi]

Don't be so dramatic. It takes time to heal the wounds from heartbreak. It took me 5 years to heal. So, you will heal with time. So don't rush into another relationship or sex. It'll make things difficult for you. Instead of rushing for a relationship or closure, focus on your career or find a hobby.