It depends on what the reason for it was, but honestly, I find people who ghost to be generally flaky, irresponsible, and unreliable, and those are qualities I try to avoid in a person. There's no reason unless a freak emergency happened that they couldn't give me an explanation as to why they couldn't make it. I appreciate brutal honesty more than having someone just flake out with no explanation.
What I really hate is when you make plans with someone and wait around on them, only for them to never show up, and they never give any explanation for why. I wouldn't be mad if something came up or even if they forgot, but I find it very rude to not even acknowledge me and let me know. I won't make plans with a person like that again because I have better things to do than wait around on people.
Depends on the reason. If you had a fight and they ghosted you yes it's immature but you can possibly move past it. But in general I find it hard, I wouldn't even try to reconnect with someone who ghosted me I only did once because we'd been best friends for years but it was to no avail. I've ghosted people too but only people I hardly know, would NEVER ghost a friend, and in those cases it was for a reason and I wouldn't want them to keep bothering me, i'd probably block them then. In other cases i've accidently ghosted someone by forgetting to reply... But if they never reminded me we weren't close anyway or else i'd eventually have remembered too.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Ghosting isn't a real thing.
Its something children made up because they can't handle not having constant attention.
Older generations of people just understand that we aren't the centre of the world and that people are busy and forgetful.
I'm used to getting ignored, it's frustrating and inconsiderate but I've come to accept that it's just what people do now. Or at least how they treat me, so maybe it's my fault.
It can go a few ways. It's all about how you feel I guess. -idk why guys still talk to me after I ghost them even for almost a year and how desperately they try to get me back in their lives, they let me back so easily. It's crazy in my mind. -ive never had it the other way around except for one person I barely liked as a friend, he just wasn't someone I would even want to hang around ever. When he disappeared for awhile I thought he might have gotten hurt. Then he text for a couple days and I was relieved he wasn't hurt and also text him back, didn't care if he had ghosted. There were no other feelings toward him though.
I feel kind of "disgusted" and sorry for people who ghost others. In a way, it tells me about their poor social-emotional skills. Yet at the same time, I think is so inexcusable to not give reasons, words or face to a person and suddenly act as if you weren't in their lives.
Forgiveness is hard in general, but you have to forgive. Only when you forgive can you truly move on. And no, it doesn't mean you're giving another chance to hurt you. On the contrary, you are allowing yourself to walk away. If they are ghosting you, they are not worth your time, they don't respect it. Forgive them, for they are broken, and move onto better things
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I wouldn't give anyone who ghosted me another chance, unless they had a really good reason.
Dating isn't a game, you either want to be with someone or you don't and of hou don't, tell them so you can both part ways knowing.
I've never understood the whole ghosting thing, unless the other person was crazy or unhinged. Maybe they hurt you really bad? I don't know.
Seems like a really childish thing to do.
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3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
It was childish, it was selfish and cowardly. It was what I thought was best for me at the time.
I was the ghoster, but she’s accepted my friend request, and I’m wondering if that’s good?
I did apologise to her before I sent the friend request. I told her how I still feel and how I’ve always felt for her, and I hope she understands that I’m truly sorry for putting her through years of pain and hurt (she told me this is what happened).
I did it one time cause i couldnt be honest at the time. But after almost a month i had to tell my friend why and im glad i did cause we are still friends and the girl i ghosted her over is gone. But because i was honest all three of us hung out and had good times too.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
For me, it is. Ghosting shows a lack of respect for other people's feelings and the immaturity to not be able to be honest and upfront. Being ghosted hurts, and I wouldn't trust someone to not do it again if given a second chance.
And the ironic thing is, most ghosters get upset if you don't respond when they magically reappear. They can dish it out but they can't take it themselves.
Oh you mean if I was dating them, they ghosted and then tried to come back as a friend? It depends I guess. How long were we dating? Were we friends before dating? What was the reason for ghosting?
I mean, there are a lot of variables, but I might consider being friends after the initial hurt has passed. I would definitely be guarded though about letting a ghoster back into my life.
He did not reply to me for a week even if he's online everyday... so I blocked him. I can't forgive him for ignoring me for a week. There's no going back.
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16 Reply
Asker
+1 y
The reason I’m asking is because I ghosted someone. I sent an apology telling them exactly how I feel and have always felt, and then a friend request, and they took 2 months and accepted it.
We weren’t exactly official, but it was a kind of a fling that lasted years. I cut contact with her because I didn’t think she felt the same way. I thought it would be the best thing for me to do to move on.
No... she told me she likes the idea of us trying something together but is afraid of the result, and that’s it. I sent her request after I had sent her an apology and told her how I felt. She took 2-3 months to accept it.
When she finally accepted your request and knew about how you felt, if she really feels the same way until now, she should have made you her boyfriend already. Did she ever mention she's mad at you for ghosting her?
Well yeah... she told me that she’s had issues with her relationships and that she’s never quite felt the same again. That she was really hurt by what I did and didn’t understand why I did it.
I don’t think she would have made me her boyfriend on the spot though, she doesn’t trust me at all, and that’s understandable because I was such a dick to her.
It would be really painful if you have feelings for someone and they ghosted you. I think if she still has feelings for you, she'll be able to forgive you and take a chance again. I wonder why you felt that she did not feel the same way for you. It would be best if you just asked her.
Hey... don't feel bad. You did what you think was right at that moment. You had your reasons. What was good is that you were able to reach out to her again and leave the door open. For how long did you cut contact?
I honestly feel they deserve to have it happen to them and hope it will.
Would I go back to the one person I would want a long honest explanation, and then if I excepted it I would forgive him but never romantically be interested in him again.
no because I'm starting to learn when people show you who they are believe them the first time not the second third or fifth time. it's really hard to do trust me but you have to do it for your dignity and your self-respect
Unforgivable plain and simple ghosting is the opposite of being decent. When your open & honest about your feelings and you get no honesty back it's a new low.
I think ghosting is pathetic and childish, the people who do it are too much of a coward to tell you what they really feel which makes them unfit for a relationship.
3
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I believe ghosting tells a lot about the person's personality and morality. Not someone I would like to allow back into my life. Simply a bad character.
haven't heard that term until now, but it makes sense. Because ghosting is cutting off contact completely. But if you reestablish contact, then it was never totally cutoff to begin with
It's very frustrating. I forgave him the first time because he was in a weird place emotionally but he might be doing it again. Sucks when someone says they care about you so much then just go cold.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
So I ghosted her some time ago, and I sent a friend request and she accepted it like 2 months after.
of course it is. they don't care about you, why should you ever care back
1
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I would say that’s generally true, but in my case I did it because I didn’t think she felt the same way. I genuinely believed it would help me move on. I have never ever hated her, but I understand that’s how she felt when I did it.
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