If she came back once, will she do it again?

[Anonymous]

Short version... we were together for 6 months, and we broke up June 08 (2 1/2 years ago). We broke up because it went bad because of moving in together too fast, and home life got really tense. She left, and she was right to do so at the time because of issues we had at the time. Since then, we have slowly gotten back in touch over the last couple years, and have been on a friendly level. We recently started dating again about 3 weeks ago, and got back into a relationship over a week ago. Things have been absolutely wonderful... moving at the right pace, absolutely no issues, having such a great time with each other.

A few days ago, she got somewhat distant for a couple days, and then called me and said we needed to talk. She said she didn't know if she was ready for the relationship, and she doesn't even know why she feels this way. She cried when breaking it off. There were absolutely NO issues this time, so I don't know why this happened.

My big question is, if she came back once, will she come back again? I've never gotten back with an ex before, so I have no experience in this area... but I really miss her and want the chance to try it again and do it right...

Any questions about this situation, feel free to ask...

[integra2005]

It might just be where she is in her life. My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago and I believe it largely had to do with it being her last semester in college (I graduated one semester earlier) and not wanting to be tied down. When you realize that your time in a certain area in life, i.e. college, is scarce, you want to take full advantage. Is there anything like this going on with her?

Additionally, I think it might happen again, so be careful if you decide to get back together. Same thing happened with me and my ex. We got together, broke up for four months, then got together to break up again. I have a feeling she will pop her head back into my life somewhere down the road, but I've lost trust in her by now. So while we're compatible as hell, I do love her, it may be in my best interest to move on or actually accept her as her friend.

And...there's always some perverse need to "1-up" your ex. If you move on and better your life, you've done just that :-)

[gemini72]

I don't think it was wrong to send the card. In fact, that was a very sweet sentiment. But, I would just leave it at that right now.

I think that maybe she started to "relive" the former relationship, the feelings from before got in the way and she got scared. I really think that's what it was. Despite the amount of time you had been apart, it seems though she never dealt with them entirely. Whereas, you have perhaps dealt with that loss in the past and see this as a "new" relationship.

However, you allude to the way it was before a lot and that suggests to me that you might be comparing the two seperate times you were together. That isn't really a good thing...

On a positive note though, I would feel confident that she didn't just throw the note away or burn the picture that had been in the truck. Give her a bit of time yet to sort through this.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she just doesn't feel the same way as you anymore. She needs to find out for her self why she feels the way she does... if she does come back , I think she should have a very good reason for you to why she broke it off when things are going fine. Perhaps it is time you moved on, unless she sorts her issues out, it will happen again.

[Anonymous]

you have to understand what's wrong with her !

why can't she be in a relationship after getting back she just wants to hold !

you have the right to know

[Asker]

She still has my house key, which is just fine with me... The first time we broke up, after she got her things from the house she left her key. And, I have a sentimental item of hers that she left in the house the first time, and she left it there on purpose... she told me so when we started dating again... I still have that as well.

[Asker]

Also... I got her a job at pool hall a friend of mine owns that I go to... she hasn't started yet. When she split up with me the other day, she told me it was up to me if she worked there or not, and she has another option. I told her to go ahead and work there, and she chose to do so instead of starting the other job... I don't think she'd do that if she wanted to close the book on this... think I'm right?

[Opinion Owner]

i think she is afraid of commitment ...and yes you are right

if she is refusing you for your person she wouldn't accept to take a job you got for her and she wouldn't accept to date you again from the very beginning she is just not ready for commitment ...

there are people out there who are just afraid of being committed