Starting a new chapter?

[Anonymous]

I feel kinda pathetic but I’m trying to heal from a somewhat abusive relationship. I feel like it should be easier. Basically things were good, but I noticed red flags and I immediately stopped it. He Started screaming at me if I wanted to spend more time, called me names, would choose his friends over seeing me during the week, stopped calling as much, and just felt off. So I kept trying to leave, but he kept trying to see me. Then I didn’t call one night, and he said he couldn’t see or call me until I called him. I understand he wanted a call but isn’t this crazy controlling? I’ve stayed up nights calling him wen he was sleeping but I don’t understand how if you love someone you throw away time and communication. Why wouldn’t you just leave? So I just felt like it was wrong to throw away that over a phone call. He went from saying how much he loved calling to barely calling and saying I needed to call more. Which I can understand maybe he didn’t feel important but why not call me and discuss it on the phone he honestly never seemed to care about calling before. And i feel like if u want to talk so much he’d call. So I stood up for myself and I feel guilty but isn’t that kind of harsh? I don't know what do you think? Like how do you heal from abuse? And when I am ready to start dating again, how many dates should I go on to give a guy a chance? Like I get bored of people so easily but I’ve met some really hot nice guys, how many chances should I give a guy? Thanks!

[ATLAS-1]

The great thing about living in this time is that it's never too late to reinvent one's self. You have to overcome some bad habits and unconscious behaviors but it's doable. Tomorrow could be the chapter in your story that make people go, "okay now it gets REALLY good"

[chriscdi]

still chasing the bottom of the barrel i see, i dont repeat myself but i wish you well 💯🙏

[Asker]

No I’m asking how to heal and not make the same mistake

[chriscdi]

well im sure you know talking to him would just keep the cycle going, if you want to move on from this guy distancing yourself from this person would be the best option

[Emperorxxxemilio]

Individuals like that rarely ever change so just let it go and find somebody who respects you.

[Emperorxxxemilio]

You can only heal by distancing yourself from further pain because you sound kinda addicted to it and just becoming aware of and processing the pain you’ve already been through.

[Asker]

Yeah like I feel like an addict it’s crazy. I hate what the guy has done he’s so disrespectful but then there's this part that’s like no things will get better it’s okay he was just mad cause u didn’t call he shouldn’t see you, he should be mad. But then I think of him yelling at me in car 2 days before my bday like why should I be treated like that? Like I try to find excuses.

[Emperorxxxemilio]

Pain can become an addiction, but like any addiction, you’ve gotta learn how to cut that source of addiction off so you can live the amazing life you deserve because why live in misery like that?

[Asker]

So true, but I don't know if this even makes sense but I’m like in even more pain from not having the pain like I’m not used to it I guess it’ll go away over time

[Emperorxxxemilio]

Your brain/body craves it. You’re just recovering from it. It’ll take time but you will recover, you just gotta believe and trust in yourself again. I’ve been through psychological abuse so I can sorta relate to your experience. If you ever need someone to talk with, you can message me. 🖤

[LEADFOOTboi]

i dont know